Note: This is the story I am writing for NaNoWriMo 2010. There may be some spelling issues and inconsistencies at first, so hang in there as I try to reach my 50,000 word goal. *Updates will be made later after I've completed the month and hopefully the word goal. *

I looked through the eye of time
saw the horror there
and knew the task ahead treacherous
I must be strong I told myself
the journey has only just begun

Ticking on the clock
hanging suspended from clouds
dark bitter metal against my tongue
blood across my lips
odors of memories
of dark meadows and semen.

The horror spread before my eyes
unlocked from the closet of doom
the hand moved but one cog
another horror unfolded against my senses.

Faces dead against window pains
foggy eyes staring into nothingness

White and black
clouds
with devils and gods
in struggle

Slanted windows
slanted eyes
from looking down
while pretending to look up
in adoration at his which were
filled with pain and death
and emotional blackmail.

I surfaced from a lake of drowning passion
rolled onto one sweaty side
the room pulled itself together
from it's swirling haze

Out a cold glass window
a stiff red rose
protrudes stubbornly
in dead air
above an ice covered plain

Night winds
pull at the edges of my mind
the dark side of my soul
screams across empty black space
the world is flesh and sweat
pulling reality from my mind.

C. J. W., 1987

*****

Images of my sordid past slowly leak from the deepest corners of my mind. It's enough to know that my father is a monster who did so many repulsive acts.

The shadows of the seven years living in his house of horror are enough to struggle with. Learning the truth about my past is more than anyone could take.