"Lying in White Silk" -Cassandra Freiborg
It was quite shocking.
Like a child seeing its first flower die
To be introduced to death
A whole new concept
A whole new terror to add to the closet
That harbors so many monsters.
That setting sun frightened me most of all.
The night was gloomy and raining
And I don't know how I pulled through
By some random miracle
Preformed by a god I no longer believe in.
The great unknown is rapidly approaching
And I don't just mean death,
I mean the future, reality sitting in wait,
Twisted like a viper
Ready to strike me blind with venom that coats the eyes,
And leaves me with no guidance.
I used to think I was fearless.
I stared defiantly into the faces of all,
Into my reflection in the mirror,
And I was only fooling myself.
Panic rung out from every muscle spasm,
Dread seeping through my veins as I sat next to him
Trying so desperately to replace it,
With cooling, calming chemicals,
Instead only growing more attracted and angry with life.
I was completely enthralled with it all,
And so appalled all at once.
Paradigms shifts became part of my daily mood swings.
I weep for things I've lost along my way.
How could I become this messed up in the head?
Everything swirls into inexplicable muddy images.
I realize I'm laying in white silk,
and I'm clutching a flower
Waiting for a whole new world to embrace me.