If Only

I stepped onto the balcony, the knotted rope in my hands. Slowly, I slipped it around my neck. If only, I thought as I gripped the railing. If only…

If only I hadn't messed up.

If only I hadn't been so careless.

I thought of my parents, getting the call—of the poor person who would find me the next morning, hanging like the pendulum of a clock, swinging in the wind. I realized, not for the first time, that my apartment overlooked a beautiful view, the orange light of the setting sun falling across my face. But this time, I realized that my third-story home could not save me as I fell.

If only the night did not mean death.

If only the setting sun was not my heart, the disappearing rays the last thumps in my chest.

The rope around my neck tightened and I reached to adjust it until it occurred to me that it was pointless. In a matter of moments the frayed cord would choke my throat; discomfort now was nothing compared to what was to come. My fingers closed around the metal railing, but no tears came. They were useless where I was going.

If only I had lived smarter.

If only—

"What are ya waiting for?" a voiced barked behind me. A voice of malice, of insanity. The cold barrel of a gun pressed against my back. "Jump already!"

If only the man behind me hadn't followed me home.

THE END


So, I wrote this short story for a contest. I placed second. Sorry that it is so short; there was a word limit. But I think I got the message across, even if there is a limited amount of words. :}