Chapter 40

Confusion was the only thing that took up Kyourei's mind—everything had occurred too quickly for him to grab a hold of what was going on. He hadn't had time to think anything through, but scared of losing Hideki again, he just went along with Hideki.

Was this what he really wanted?

Did he really seem like he was in love with Hideki? Apparently Taiga reckoned he did.

Maybe he was. But maybe he needed more time to figure things out—except that Hideki refused to give him time. Hell knew what Kyourei would do if someone walked in on them, and yet that exact fear had been making him harder, to his horror.

Beads of sweat ran down his back as he swallowed another sinful moan. Warm fingers brushed against the tip of his cock and he arched his back, drawing in white bed sheets. Hideki kept him on a torturous edge of pleasure and watched his shameful expression with hawkish eyes, with those dark, lustful eyes that sent shivers down Kyourei's spine.

"More…Kyou…I want to see more…" Hideki pushed in further, making Kyourei writhe instinctively. Hideki pressed his lips to Kyourei's ears and breathed hotly, "I want to hear more…"

"…This is a public facility, Hideki…" Kyourei managed, immediately biting his lip when bliss assailed his senses again. "…Don't torture me…"

Hideki gave him another breathtaking kiss before making him lie on his stomach. "I won't…Kyou…" He pushed himself into Kyourei again, groaning delightfully as he buried his entire length.

When Kyourei felt the tip of Hideki's erection hit his prostate, he bit his lip and let out a soft moan. "Hi…Hideki…" he gasped almost helplessly when he felt the man move, "I…I can't…" His voice got cut off as Hideki ground into him, sending shocks of inexplicable pleasure through his body.

"One more time, Kyou…" Hideki whispered in a husky voice, kissing Kyourei's trembling shoulder. "Just one more time…" He then took hold of Kyourei's shoulders and drove in almost roughly, stealing whatever remaining words that still lingered at the tip of Kyourei's tongue.

How could Hideki still have so much strength when he'd been unconscious for four months and he'd just undergone a surgery? Not to mention, Kyourei was worried that Hideki would damage his brain during all this, but unfortunately he didn't get the chance to vocalize his concern.

As their skin slapped together with lustful intimacy, Hideki soon forgot about mercy. "Kyou…" he murmured, burying himself all the way in with frightening precision and increasing strength.

With a muffled, restrained cry, Kyourei collapsed and tried to hold onto something when Hideki pumped faster and faster, forcing Kyourei to whimper into the bed sheet to keep down the noise.

…Was this really okay?

It was so different from getting fucked by Itou.

Squeezing his eyes shut, Kyourei couldn't control his gasps as torrents of increasingly heightened bliss overwhelmed him—he felt like his heart was going to jump out of his mouth any moment. "Hi…Hideki…" He was so lost, so lost…

And yet, that burning length was pounding into his ass, and he was swallowing that thickness with shameless hunger.

Hideki tightened his grip, groaning in a low rumble as he plunged deeper and deeper, in exchange stripping Kyourei of control over his reaction.

"Kyou…" Hideki moaned raggedly, picking up speed.

The only thing Kyourei could do was to breathlessly gasp Hideki's name, to let pleasure and lust take control of his mind.

And then an explosion of intense pleasure flooded Kyourei—he couldn't breathe until it slowly receded, choking on his silent whimpers of euphoria as Hideki broke into passionate, lengthy penetrations. "Fuck, Kyou…you feel so good…" Hideki moaned, his fingers digging into Kyourei.

It took a while until both of them recovered. Kyourei was pretty sure his suit was ruined. He didn't really want to face the impending looks that would be cast his way once he exited Hideki's room. He couldn't believe what he had just done—in a hospital, of all places.

Silently, Kyourei did his best to salvage his image. He wanted to say something but he found himself robbed of the ability to talk. Confusion was like a thick, heavy fog, blocking any form of speech.

Was this really alright? What about afterwards?

Would he officially become Hideki's lover? The prospect of becoming someone's lover alone was a blow to his mentality.

After having finally cleaned up, Kyourei exchanged awkward glances with Hideki. He wasn't sure that Hideki would be able to understand him anymore. "…Take care of yourself," he managed to say before he left.

Masaru tapped his cigarette against the glass ash tray, staring pensively at the papers in front of him.

Over the past two years, Kyourei had been doing incredibly well. All of the projects he had worked on in the past, including the ones he had done under Masaru's supervision, had blossomed into booming success. Masaru was supposed to feel happy and somewhat proud, not resentful. However, according to his friend, Tamura had recovered with only the slightest damage to his brain. Kyourei had started to work again because Tamura had come back.

With a sigh, Masaru took another deep drag from his cigarette to finish it up before he squashed the butt into his ash tray, only to take out another one and light it.

Part of Masaru had wished Tamura would never wake up. Or wake up with greater damage to the brain—not slight, insignificant damage to the brain. He blew out a puff of bitter smoke and closed the folder, shoving it into the binder where he kept all of Kyourei's progress.

He wanted to see Kyourei badly, but he couldn't. He had promised that he would not bother the man as long as he was satisfied with what he saw, and Masaru was satisfied with what he had seen. He didn't want to be hated by Kyourei more than he already had been.

Giving up had been more difficult than Masaru would have liked, even though he had resolved to give up two years ago. Letting go required more courage than he thought it would have. Afraid—he was afraid of losing that feeling. Roughly twenty years of his life, he had been bound to that man—could anyone replace, no, surpass, Kyourei's existence in his heart? Would he ever be able to meet someone who could destroy those chains?

Escape had been his only option. Burying himself with work as well as the lack of contact with Kyourei had numbed the pain, despite his screaming heart. He had even married the step-sister of the man he resented more than anyone in the world, tried to be a good husband, tried to love her, tried to save her. He couldn't—not when he couldn't even save himself. In the end, the only satisfaction he had received in these two hollow years had been from Kyourei's astonishing progress.

People around him were all praising him like he was some sort of heroic genius, speculating how he'd be able to surpass his friendless father in another three years and take over the corporation as CEO. However, they were all wrong. He wasn't the benevolent, strong, charismatic leader they all thought him to be—he was just a pathetic man, an utterly pathetic man with too many regrets to count. Kyourei was the reason he had transformed into the leader they wanted. Kyourei was the reason Masaru had been able to finally escape his loser status. They knew nothing, nothing at all.

And yet, Masaru had to give up. He had to, in order to stop this painful suffering.

Blowing out another mouthful of depressing smoke, Masaru logged off his computer and headed to the elevators. It was around midnight now. As he waited for the elevator he finished his cigarette with a few long drags and put it out on the golden ashbin under the buttons. The doors opened just in time and he stepped in.

When the elevator stopped at a particular floor, Masaru felt his heartbeat quicken despite himself. The doors slid open, and there stood a man in an impeccable and perfectly tailored suit, staring coldly at him with clear, gray eyes. The man's grip on his briefcase tightened. Masaru almost thought the man would wait for the next elevator but to his guilty elation, Kyourei stepped in just before the doors slid closed.

"…Good evening, Itou-san," Kyourei said with his smooth, cool voice, the voice that now sounded like angelic music to Masaru. He missed that voice, he missed it so much—he wouldn't even mind if the voice was laced with disgust or abhorrence.

"Good evening…Kyourei." All or nothing.

Kyourei visibly stiffened, determined to stare at the level indicator.

"You've been doing really well," Masaru ventured to continue.

"…Thank you." Kyourei was like a frozen statue.

"For what it's worth…the Board of Directors is quite pleased with how you're doing. The…rumors…are, as you probably know already, completely waved off as bogus," Masaru said softly. "I think you'll be promoted quite soon. Inoue in the end, can't hold you back, it seems."

Kyourei didn't say anything for a good five floors. It was good their offices were both located very high up. "…I appreciate your tip, Itou-san." He paused. "If I am promoted, I have you to thank." Was it just Masaru's imagination, or did Kyourei sound shaky? It was hard to determine if Kyourei was simply bullshitting or saying the truth.

Even if Masaru wished Kyourei had meant what he said, the COO knew better than to keep his hopes up. He fiddled with his platinum wedding ring absently.

"…You know…" Kyourei began after another three levels, "I don't have much time left here."

Masaru simply gaped at the man's back.

"…Maybe in another two years I'll have to start taking up my…family business."

The elevator was approaching the ground floor, and Masaru wanted it to slow down.

"The most time I'll probably have is four years. My uncle…has cancer," Kyourei continued in a very subdued voice. "It was too late when it was discovered." They were now on the third floor. "I…don't really want to…but I…made a deal. Sooner or later, I'd have to take up the family business. It just happened…a lot sooner than I thought it would." The doors slid open. "…I hope you won't hold it against me." He stepped out of the elevator in a stiff stride.

Do something... DO something! A voice inside Masaru screamed. Are you going to let him disappear from your life forever? Are you going to live with even more regret?

The doors were sliding close. Kyourei's back was barely visible through the remaining space.

"Wait, Kyou!"

The elevator doors were forced to open again.