A/N: This is a one shot inspired from my currently in progress T rated story, "Dreamers". Fay is the protagonist in both "Dreamers" and in this one shot. If you like this, check out my profile and read "Dreamers". I'm going to add a scene like this one to it soon!
Also, I consider this M rated, but nothing actually…happens. If I get encouragement from you readers, I may venture into writing and uploading more –explicit –one shots ;)
I had had my share of alcohol that night, but I wasn't drunk. I knew why I wanted to do this. Why I needed to do this. The guilt would overcome me if I didn't…make it up to him.
"Let's go all the way tonight. No regrets, just love," I sang off key in between kisses. Austin chuckled; then silenced me with his mouth. He reached behind us and shut the door firmly, locking the door with one swift motion. I felt his lips curve up into a smile against mine. I knew what we were both thinking, "We haven't had this type of alone time since the first night." And I knew what I needed to do now.
I broke the kiss, and took his hands, leading him to the large queen sized bed with un-rumpled, expensive looking sheets of one of Will's family's guestrooms. It felt…wrong to be thinking Will's name, but it was sort of hard to avoid, what with this being Will's house. What time was it? Past midnight? Soon, though –very soon, I could think of Will without the flare of guilt that pierced my heart.
I pulled Austin down on top of me proactively, since he seemed contented to stand there and kiss me till the dawn rose. He seemed pleasantly surprised when he found himself stretched out on top of me. I tightly wrapped my bare legs around his waist as I kissed him, hard, and took one of his hands, sliding it up my thigh to the edge of my shorts. His other hand found its way up the back of my shirt, and it unclasped my bra with a quick flip of the wrist. It made me think how many times he must have already done this. It would be my first. And it became glaringly obvious that it would happen soon. I pressed my hips hard against his. He groaned softly. I pressed my chest against him, making my breasts stand out even more in the low cut top I'd chosen for the occasion. It was a button up top. He began unbuttoning it. A thrill ran up my spine. I stayed perfectly still until he had my shirt laid open. Austin bent his head low and gave me a thorough taste of exactly how experienced he was.
I told myself I wasn't doing this just because of the guilt. I wanted this. Fuck, I wanted him. But it didn't look like he was going to get any further without my permission.
Uncertainly, I lifted my right hand, and brought it to the waistband of his familiar swim team sweatpants. Damn, he was so hot with just those on…But this time, I wanted to see how he looked with them off.
Austin froze. I pushed him on with a quick, urgent movement, and he continued slowly. As he did, his own hands reached my hands on his waistband. I thought he was going to help me, but he grasped my hands in his and held them frozen in a steel grip.
"Austin, what are you doing?" I purred.
"Fay, I can't," Austin said, sounding choked as he said it. I could feel how much he could. If I was just decisive enough, if I could hasten matters up… "Stop, baby, you're not ready for this."
I pouted. It wasn't up to him to decide that. "Yes, I am. And I know you are," I said, sliding a hand around him through the thick fabric of his pants. His breathing stuttered. I smiled.
"Now, where were we?" I murmured, thrusting my chest back at him. He closed his eyes as if in pain.
"Fay, please. Don't." he begged. I was confused.
"Why?" I asked, a bit hurt.
"F-for one thing, I'm eighteen, and you're sixteen," Austin began lamely. "And for another, there are no condoms in here."
"Pshh. I'm sure there are some stashed in the drawers. What's a party without them?" I replied breezily, blinking at him prettily.
"No, Fay, you don't –want this." He said, visibly forcing the words out.
"Why?" I said, whiny now. Goddammit, I was doing this because I needed to! I need to attend to business here, to fulfill the bargain I thought I had made with my consciousness. If I did this, this act that I wanted to do, I wouldn't feel like such a monster any more. I wouldn't feel the urge to gag every time I looked at Will. I would be thinking of Austin White all of the time.
"Because…because I know you're not ready." Austin whispered. I tried to kiss him again, but he let go of me, pried my legs loose, and staggered to the wall where the head of the bed was. He pressed his back against it and closed his eyes, sucking in deep breaths. "Baby don't tempt me. Don't tempt me. I want you so bad."
"You can have me," I whispered. "All of me, Austin." I crawled to his end of the bed, on all fours, my shirt hanging open. His eyes were on my body. I rose onto my knees and pounced on him. He kissed me back involuntarily. In the back of my mind, I was amused. Who knew I had so much power over the male sex? His hand seemed to move of their own accord to the waistband of my shorts. He slid them down far enough to notice I was wearing no underwear. I had come prepared.
But what should've come didn't. With what seemed to be a herculean effort on his part, he stopped, pushed me hard so that I fell onto the bed, and paced off to the opposite wall, his fists clenched. He spoke to the wall.
"Fay, you know you don't want this!" He nearly shouted. "Why are you doing this to me? You'll regret it, I swear you will. Stop before I can't. If you don't I swear to God I'm walking out."
I lay there, stunned. Was he really rejecting me for my own good? I thought any boy who'd gotten this far would never turn back. Was he really doing this in concern for me?
It was true; I wasn't sure whether I was ready for this. I knew I wanted it, but that was an entirely different story. I'd wanted this for years. But I knew, deep down, I was doing this for the wrong reasons. I hitched my shorts back up.
"I'm sorry," I whispered, barely loud enough so he could hear me. "You're right. I'm not ready. I…I wanted you. I still do."
Slowly, carefully, he came over to me and sat down. "I want you too. Badly." He chuckled shakily. "But I care about you Fay. I know this isn't the way. Tell me baby, why were doing this? We've only been together for less than a week. You're smarter than that."
"I'm sorry," I whispered again, tears filling up my eyes and my voice thick. He looked at me, eyes wide.
"I forgive you," he said plainly, but I hadn't told him what I'd done. I shook my head, moving away from him so he wouldn't see that I was crying. But he could. I saw his expression change again, to one of suspicion.
"Dammit Fay, tell me before I imagine it's something worse than it is." He warned, his gentle tone gone. He used the voice he'd use when I heard him dealing with the cop yesterday morning. I swallowed.
"We didn't kiss or anything but I told Will I love him!" I blurted, looking down at my feet, waiting for him to start shouting, to slap me, something.
I looked up, and his angry expression had smoothed. "Austin?" I whispered, my voice small. He looked at me then.
"Do you?" He asked simply, his sea blue eyes, indistinguishable from Wills, piercing.
"I don't know," I answered weakly. Tentatively, I moved closer to him. He let me wrap my arms around his neck. "I don't think so. But –I'm with you. I choose you. I still do, and, well, I wanted to show you that. "
Austin's expression softened, and now he looked at me with a touch of tenderness. He wrapped his arms around me, and then moved them back up to my breasts. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back in pleasure. He kissed me up my collarbone…the side of my neck. He bit my ear softly, and ran his lips across my jawbone before bringing his mouth on top of mine.
"Good," he whispered, his breath hot against my skin. "But not until you're ready."
A/N: So how was it? I'm considering starting and uploading some more erotic one shots, tell me if you think I should!