A/N: QUICK SUMMARY- I decided to write a collection of letters, poems, et cetera for people, places, things, ideas (nouns) so I could express my feelings toward them or whatever (and to take a break from NaNoWriMo for a few minutes). Some of these poems may be funny, but mostly they will be sad and/ or angry.


Dear Samantha,

If only you knew how much has changed since we last spoke. For starters, I've started to cut. No, that was phrased incorrectly: I've started to cut more often, and in a different place. Of course you didn't notice when the cuts were so plainly displayed on my hand, open for the world to see, because I have gotten so good at masking my emotions. Also, I have started to write a novel. Not that you would care, because after all we were only best friends. You never were never able to listen long enough for me to explain a basic plot of any of my stories or what NaNoWriMo is. The last thing is that I have realized that I am gay. That's right, I'm gay. I will never check out guys with you again, because even when I did do that, I never saw the same thing that you saw. I will probably never tell you this, because I know how violently homophobic you are with the exception to that guy (Kurt?) on Glee. I will probably never tell you about my cutting either, because I know that you would just push me away. I used to tell you everything, but what's the point of talking to someone who doesn't listen?

I miss you and I wish I could talk to you. Your emails are so distant and you never call. I just called you five minutes ago, but you were busy. Whenever I call, you say you're busy. But the next day I find out that you were with our other two best friends. Whatever happened to the "Fabulous Four?" Is it me? I can change. I'm not as busy as I pretend to be. Call me because I'll be waiting for the phone to ring.

Did you know that I attempted suicide again? My other friends do and it wasn't something that I told them. It's funny (sad) that someone who befriended me in eighth grade knows me better than you, my friend since before preschool.

Well, this is all I have to say to you. At this point, I would say thank you for reading this, but I know that I will never send this. So I guess a simple goodbye will suffice until the next time we speak.



P.S. I still want to be your best friend. I still love you. I am still me.