You and I walk a fragile line
I have known it all this time
but I never thought I'd live to see it break
It's getting dark and it's all too quiet
And I can't trust anything now
And it's coming over you like it's all a big mistake
"So, that's it? Just like that, you're leaving?"
Andrew just nodded and I swear I felt my heart break at that exact moment- this was it, he was really leaving, and there wasn't a damn thing I could do to convince him to stay. I'd tried- believe me, I'd tried, but his mind was made up. Nothing I said could change that.
"It's over, Ade." Andrew sighed. "It's been over for a long time and you know it."
"You're wrong," I said, trying so hard to keep my voice from breaking, but I could tell by the look on his face that I was failing miserably at hiding how hurt I was, but this just wasn't making any sense. Sure, me and Andrew weren't perfect- our relationship never had been, but we loved each other and we trusted each other... we did trust each other, didn't we?
"I'll be fooling myself if I stay," was the only thing he had to say in response.
I shook my head, not understanding. I didn't understand. I didn't think I ever would.
"What does that mean? Why are you doing this?" I pleaded. I'd never felt like this before, so helpless; I was willing to beg if it meant he would stay. I couldn't lose him. We'd been through so much together, too much. It wouldn't be right to let him walk away without a fight; I'd lost him once. I'd be damned if I lost him again.
Oh, I'm holding my breath
Won't lose you again
Something's made your eyes go cold
"You know why I'm doing this, Ade," Andrew snapped, finally looking me in the eye, and now that he was, I wished he wasn't. His eyes were so cold, so distant. He'd never looked at me like that before, not even when we were in high school and acting as though we hated each other. I didn't understand- what I had done to make him look at me like that?
"I don't," I countered, wincing at how desperate I sounded. But, I was desperate... desperate to keep him in my life, because I knew my heart couldn't take it if I lost him again. And this time I knew it would be for good. "Just, please, why are you doing this? Why are you pushing me away again?"
"I told you, I fucking told you she was the one who kissed me, but you didn't believe me, did you?!" he shouted, startling me so much that I jumped. He sounded so angry.
I didn't have to ask what he was talking about, because this time, I did know, but that was all in the past... it'd happened three months ago. I'd forgotten all about it.
Okay, I hadn't... not really, but I'd been trying to put it behind me because I trusted him. I trusted that Andrew would never hurt me like that.
"That's what this is about?" I asked, not even bothering to hide my confusion. Why was he bringing this up now? What had changed in the past three months since that girl at the bar had kissed him? "I told you, I trust you. I trust in what we have. I know you didn't kiss her."
Andrew shook his head. "No, you didn't trust me. Not right away." I didn't say anything; I still wasn't understanding what any of this was about. It was crazy talk. "You went to Alec, remember? You ignored me for days. Probably would have been weeks if I hadn't decided to man up and come see you." I didn't get what that had to do with why he was acting so strange. Yes, I'd gone to Alec because he was one of my best friends and I'd needed someone, but why would that make him so angry? And why now?
"I see the way you look at him," Andrew whispered when I still hadn't said anything.
I grew more confused with every word he said. He sees the way I look at him? What did that even mean?
"Something happened between you two in those three days," he started. "I don't know what, but something did, because even after we talked and worked out everything and I told you that I didn't kiss her, you started going to him for everything." I wanted to say something, to cut in and tell him how stupid he was being, but I didn't because I felt that, maybe, if I let him talk, I'd understand what this was all about and convince him to stay. I needed him to stay. "When Cadence got in that cheer accident, it wasn't me you called to take you to the hospital... it was Alec, and that was who I saw at the hospital holding your hand when I showed up. I should have been the one you called, not him, because I'm your boyfriend, not Alec."
I stared at him. That was all I could do, really. Where was this coming from? What made him think I valued Alec more than I did him? Yes, Alec meant a lot to me because he was my best friend, and we'd grown a lot closer since senior year, and yes, I did go to him after my fight with Andrew, but I had no one else to turn to. Emmalynn, Mikey, and Cameron were attending New York University, Carson was attending UCLA, and Todd was attending Brown University in Rhode Island, so I couldn't have very well gone to any of them. Alec was here in New Haven with me and Andrew, and he lived not too far from us. Going to him had seemed like the only option I'd had at the time.
"I'm starting to think that maybe Mikey was right senior year." Andrew's words snapped me out of my thoughts. I didn't have to ask what he was talking about. I remembered what Mikey said senior year, and I knew where Andrew was going with this, and I just thought it was all so ridiculous. He couldn't possibly think that I had feelings for Alec, could he? "You and Alec are more than friends, whether you want to admit it or not. Friends don't look at friends the way that you do, and I'm tired of being stuck in the middle, so I'm done, Ade. I'm just done. I refuse to keep being the monkey in the fucking middle."
"Monkey in the fucking middle?" I shouted, no longer wanting to keep my mouth shut. I could deal with his strange attitude, but I refused to deal with his accusations- even if part of me knew his accusations weren't too far off. "You're leaving me because you think I'm in love with Alec? How stupid can you be?"
"It'd be pretty fucking stupid of me if I stayed when your whole heart isn't in this anymore," he muttered, gesturing between the two of us when he said 'this.' "I'm leaving, Ade. Nothing you can say is going to make me stay. I'm sorry," he said before picking his suitcase up off the floor and heading towards the door.
I had to stop him, I had to, but it was like my feet were glued to the carpet.
"Wait!" I shouted, feeling the tears burning in my eyes. I couldn't cry. I wouldn't let myself.
"Don't leave... not like this," I begged when Andrew still hadn't turned around.
Come on, come on, don't leave me like this
I thought I had you figured out
Something's gone terribly wrong
You're all I wanted
I breathed a sigh of relief when Andrew turned his head to look at me, but the relief quickly faded when he showed no signs of taking back everything he said. He was really going to leave, wasn't he? I was going to lose him forever.
"Tell me you don't have any feelings towards Alec whatsoever, and I won't go." I wanted to ask if he was being serious, but from the look on his face, I could tell that he was. He wanted an answer and if it wasn't the answer he was looking for, then he was leaving and that was it... we'd be over forever.
I wanted so badly to tell him that I didn't feel anything towards Alec whatsoever, but I knew I'd be lying because there was something there... I didn't know what, but it was there and I was having a hell of a time forcing it, whatever it was, to go away. I knew I'd been lying to myself before, thinking that I only thought of Alec as my best friend, because he was more than that.
Andrew was right, I hadn't trusted him when he'd said he hadn't kissed that girl in the bar three months ago. So, I'd gone to Alec and he'd comforted me. He'd let me stay with him while I sorted everything out because I couldn't go back to Andrew's, not when I was feeling so confused and unsure of whether or not I could trust him after I witnessed that kiss. I stayed with Alec for three days and over the course of those three days, I started to see him in a different light, but that didn't matter, did it? I loved Andrew, I knew that. I didn't love Alec, not in that way. I felt something for him, something strong, but that would disappear with time... I would never act on those feelings. I would never betray Andrew like that, not ever.
"Your silence is answer enough," Andrew said, his voice barely above a whisper.
"Andrew, I--" I didn't continue. The look on his face stopped me... he looked so hurt, but that cold look was still in his eyes and it frightened me.
I'd lost him. That look said it all.
"Goodbye, Princess," were the last words he spoke before leaving. He didn't even look back, not once.
That was it. He was gone. I could delude myself and make myself think that I could convince him to come back, but I knew Andrew better than that. His mind was made up. We were really over.
"Goodbye, Andrew," I whispered as I fell onto the floor, not even bothering to fight back my tears as I felt my heart break all over again.
Come on, come on, don't leave me like this
I thought I had you figured out
Can't breathe whenever you're gone
Can't turn back now, I'm haunted
I blame this very short one-shot on me listening to Taylor Swift's 'Haunted' nonstop since I first heard it. I don't own any of the Universities mentioned, nor do I own Taylor Swift or her music.
I do, however, own Andrew and Adelaide. And yes, they are the same Andrew and Adelaide from 'The Games that Play Us.' Which, by the way, you don't have to read that to understand this fic because this fic is absolutely nothing like 'The Games that Play Us.' It had a happy ending and was set in their senior year. This is set in their sophomore year of college. Also, I own all the other characters mentioned as well, being that they are all in 'The Games That Play Us', even though Todd was only mentioned in a couple of chapters, I do believe.
Also, just don't read 'The Games that Play Us.' Everything was a jumbled mess. I realize that after I read it. Certain things didn't quite add up because I didn't read over the first chapter when I was writing chapter two and well, that was a very big mistake on my part. So, yeah... hope you guys like this short... whatever this is.
Really, I just did it for fun.