"It's over"
These were the words that wanted to make me run; runaway and never stop. I wanted to scream in pain. Cry in sadness.
I couldn't believe they came from my own mouth.
"Maggie, please" Blake said. I look at him and his face was twisted in agony. It looked as if he was ready to fall down on his knees and beg. Beg for forgiveness. I was begging myself; begging for clarity, begging for a sense out of what he's done. There was no way I would ever consider forgiving him. Every bit of me was filled with anger and sorrow because of what he did.
All I could do was stare blankly while he spoke empty words.
It took a while before I could find my voice, "How could you do this to me?" I uttered, my voice breaking twice. My vision was blurred because of the tears. He was only a few inches away and yet I couldn't see the details of his face. Once it cleared, I looked at him and he gazes back with those blue eyes; blue eyes that only linger and ask for me. Blue eyes that use to look into my own. Blue eyes imprisoned in that face of his. The face that I could look at every single day and never get tired of. It's the face that I know, I will never forget.
For all the wrong reasons.
I couldn't imagine his face near another girl's. I couldn't imagine his lips; lips that touched mine, I couldn't imagine them brush another girl's lips. I couldn't imagine him cheating on me. Not until now. Now that it's been done. A not so distant memory I'm sure he won't ever forget. A kind of knowledge I can never erase from my mind and the mangled piece of work beating inside my chest.
"How could you do this to me?!," repeating my question. "Huh, Blake, HUH? After all I've been through. After all that we've been through! You felt like you had the right. The wit. The nerve. How could you cheat on me Blake?!" I said, almost screaming.
Nobody would hear. No one hardly goes to the tree in the farther part of the park when the sun's already down. It was only the two of us, accompanied by the rustle of leaves and the occasional breeze of the wind.
"Why did you wait for me to find out? Why didn't you tell me 3 days ago when changing my mind wasn't as hard?!"
"Maggie I was waiting to tell you. Maggie pleas—"
"Are you calling me an idiot Blake?! Do you honestly think you could go around this and pretend like it never happened?"
"No. Of course not. Maggie, I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Please." He said, I could see tears in his eyes.
"That's easier said than done"
I thought he loved me. I thought the countless times he said it would make our relationship invincible. I was blinded by love. We were both blinded by it. Now, I'm blinded with anger. He used to be so clear, so perfect but now, my vision of him was foggy, almost hazy. It felt like my view of him was covered by a veil of imperfections.
"Tell me Blake, was one night spent with her worth every single day you spent with me?" I said, every bit of bitterness in my voice. I hope every word I throw would hurt him like what he did hurt me.
"I'm sorry, Maggie, I'm sorry" He said as he threw his arms around me. I couldn't move. I couldn't say anything. I was weak under his touch. I was crying. I could really see that he doesn't want to lose me but I wasn't sure if I felt the same. If only it could stay like this. Skip the pain and the heartbreak.
It was impossible.
" Please.." He whispered in my ear. I could feel his warm breath near my neck.
I'm hurt by what he did but I felt worse about what he was doing now.
"Maggie, Maggie" He said, hugging me tighter. My heart was in a frenzy; half-breaking, half wanting this. Finally, I was able to speak again.
"Blake," i said my voice broke. He loosened his hold on me, but did not let go. We looked at each other; we were both in tears but his was not as worse as mine. In his eyes were hope. Maybe he thought I would give him a chance. He gave me a little smile. I wanted to turn away but I had to say it. I was so aggravated by what he did and he's making it so much harder to do so.
"It really is over, Blake" I said. I wanted it to sound harsh but it came out sadder than I expected. I brushed away his hold on me. As hard as it was, I had to. I turned to walk away but I felt his hand grab my wrist. Before i could even pull it back, he whirled me around and crushed his lips unto mine. He pulled my body even closer to his. His lips were soft and his breath was warm. Mine were stable, frozen and unmoving.
He drew his head away for a moment and said "Please stay with me". Then his lips once again touched mine.
I pushed him away. I couldn't take it. He's making it so much harder for the both of us.
"Bye Blake" I said. I walked away and broke into a full sprint the moment I knew that I was far enough from where he stood. The grass was damp and a dull green. When I saw my car, i almost slipped forcing myself in. My Pontiac's dark interior made me feel more alone. It was warm inside and yet i was cold. I started the engine, my hands grew cold and clammy around the wheel. I faced the rear view mirror and my dark red curls were hanging loosely on my shoulders. My blue eyes were as dull as the sea. I looked away; i was intensely reminded of Blake's eyes. I stepped on the gas pedal and steered out of the park. I was only a few minutes way from the house when i felt my phone vibrate inside of my pocket. I answered it without even checking who it was.
" Hello?" I said
" Maggie you were wrong" said a male voice.