Stay With Me
I'm on my bed, which used to be our bed when James was here, and I'm pretty sure some guy is thrusting into me, but I can't feel him. I can't feel anything anymore. Not since James left. It's been three months, six days, two hours and forty-five minutes since he told me that she came first, and walked out my door.
"I'm sorry Matt, but I have to go back. She's been getting suspicious and I don't want to lose what I have with her."
"What about me? I thought you bought this house so we could live in it together."
"I want you to be safe and comfortable. You never have to see that man again, okay?"
"Please don't go. I'll cleanup more, and I'll make you dinner every night. No more drinking on a Sunday night, I promise, just please. Please stay with me."
"I'm sorry, darling, I can't. I'm leaving and I'm not coming back. Just move on. Find someone who deserves you."
He kissed my forehead and walked out. He thought I didn't see him take the spare key and put it in his pocket, but I did. I've been waiting for him to use the key and come home to me but he hasn't. He stopped thrusting and I guess that meant he was coming. Was I coming too? I can't even tell anymore. I miss James so much. It's not fair. What does she have that I don't have? The man pulled out and I watched him get dressed and realized that it was Michael. He reached back over and grabbed my throat.
"See you next time slut." He slaps my face for good measure and then leaves me to wallow in my self pity. James promised me that I would never have to see Michael again, but he found me, and he's been coming here and hurting me for two months. But I don't feel it anymore. My heart stopped beating and my brain stopped functioning when James left.
I get out of the bed numbly and feel Michael's cum dribble out of me, so I make my way to the shower. I stand and let my body be abused by the hot spray of water coming from the shower head. I wish I could say it feels good, but I don't remember what feeling good feels like. I look down at my lifeless cock. It remains flaccid and unused. I haven't touched myself since he left but I trail my hand down and grip my floppy organ anyway. I let my eyes slip shut and I picture his long piano fingers tracing circles on my body. His tongue is licking up and down my neck, and when he reaches my ear he whispers 'I love you.'
I open my eyes and let my cock fall from my hand. I can't continue. It just doesn't feel right. I get of the shower like a robot and put on the worn and faded Aerosmith t-shirt that James left behind. She hated it when he would wear his old band shirts, so the only time he wore them was with me. It doesn't smell like him anymore, even though I haven't washed it. I just like to pretend that he's still with me.
I go back to the bathroom and stand in front of the mirror. There's a bruise under my eye. I guess it's from when I tried to fight Michael off the other day. I guess I was thinking James came back and once I realized it wasn't James I tried to make Michael go away. I open the medicine cabinet and pull out the bottle of pills that I have become so accustomed to. I pour a few into my hand, not really looking at the number, and pop them into my mouth. I slowly swallow them on my way to the bedroom and chase the chalky taste away with five swings from the nearly empty vodka bottle that was on the floor. I fumble for my cell phone and I automatically dial James' number. I just need to hear his voice. Just so I can feel alive again.
"Hello?" I stop breathing but my heart starts beating again.
"Hi baby." He's silent for a few minutes. I'm too afraid to say anything and have him hang up on me.
"Matt? I told you not to call me anymore." A tear runs down my cheek. I touch it and stare at it on my finger, fascinated by it.
"I'm sorry." I croak finally. I hear him sigh and I want to start crying.
"I miss you so much." I whisper. I fold my body into a small ball. I have a headache and I'm starting to feel extremely dizzy.
"Are you alright Matt? Your voice sounds funny."
"I'm floating." I tell him.
"Floating? What the hell? Matt, darling, did you take something?"
"Say it again." I squeak. The room starts to spin and my headache intensifies.
"Darling, please, tell me what you took." He said it again. How is it possible for him to control me with one little pet name? I have no idea, but he does.
"The same thing I always take." I mumble. My brain is starting to feel fuzzy.
"How many Matt?"
"I don't know." He sighs again and another tear rolls off my face.
"I need to go, Matt. Please don't call me again. It makes this too hard."
"Please James. Don't leave yet. I love you." Every second is bringing me closer to the moment where he hangs up and I have to feel numb again.
"Matt, you're killing me. I love you so much and you have no idea how hard this is for me." He still loves me. Now I feel alive again.
"Just…just keep talking to me. Please James, I don't want to feel numb again." I hear him sigh again. It's such a beautiful sound.
"Goodbye Matt." The line went dead. I wish I could cry. I wish I could feel anything, but the numbness took me over again. I throw my phone somewhere and cuddle up with the pillow that James used to use. My eyes close. The only thing behind my eyes is James' face.
The banging on the front door wakes me up. I ignore it. The only person that comes to see me is Michael. I scramble to the edge of the bed and grab the vodka that landed on the floor after it rolled off. I take a swig and cuddle up with the bottle. My bedroom door burst open and Michael stormed in, his face angry.
"How many times have I told you not to ignore me, slut?" He grabs my throat and squeezes it. I try to pry his hands off but I don't say anything. He squeezes too hard and I can feel myself slipping into unconsciousness.
When I come to, my body feels sore and I can't move my arms. I look to my right, towards James' side of the bed, and Michael is snoring. I feel tears stream down my face at the sight of Michael taking James' spot. I pull at my arms, trying to get them free but it isn't working. Michael wakes up when he hears my struggling. He looks at me with a gleam in his eyes.
"Even when your ass is knocked out, you still put up a hell of a fight."
"Please untie me." I whisper. He laughs at me and pinches one of my nipples hard.
"Nahh. I like you like this." He rolls himself onto me and starts to fuck me again. I sob and I thrash and I kick, but none of it stops him. He keeps going until he comes inside me. He kisses me and thrusts his tongue in my mouth and I'm assaulted by the taste of beer and cigarettes. I bite down on his tongue and the coppery taste of blood fills my mouth. Michael howls and pulls away, holding a hand over his mouth. The back of his hand whips across my face, the force of it splitting my lip and making me bite my own tongue.
"You stupid bitch! I should punish you for this." He growls. He gets off the bed and his cock is still hard. He reaches down for his belt but stops when he notices something. He stands back up with my cell phone in hand.
"One missed call from James. Who the fuck is James?" I jerk at the rope that's binding my arms and try to get my phone. Michael notices and smirks.
"Should we call him back?"
"No. Please untie me." I whisper again. He shakes his head. He opens my phone and calls James back and puts it on speakerphone so I can hear.
"Matt? Is that you darling?" James' voice sounds frantic. I whimper pathetically and pull at my ropes again.
"Darling? Are you there?" I whimper loudly this time. I'm about to ask Michael to untie me again but he slaps his hand over mouth, muffling my words.
"James is it? Can you tell me why you're talking to my whore?" He asks coldly.
"Who the fuck is this?"
"Don't worry about it."
"Where's Matt? What did you do to him?" James sounds angry.
"Oh he's right here, but he's a bit tied up at the moment." Michael chuckles at his own joke. I start struggling again because I want James to know I need help. I bite Michael's hand and he pulls it way, giving me a swift smack on my right cheek. I yelp in surprise and start yanking on the rope hard, trying to get free. Michael bends down and pulls his pocket knife out of his pants. He flicks it open and comes towards me. He puts it against my throat and pushes a little and I yell out because it hurt and I'm afraid.
"Matt?!" James yells my name. I need his help. I have to get out of here.
"James! Help me!" I yell.
"Oh god, Matt! I—" Michael hangs up the phone and tosses it on the floor. I sob and hang my head pathetically. That was my only chance and now it's gone. Michael pulls the knife away from my throat.
"Do me a favor and make this go down, will ya?" He points to his hard cock and crawls on top of me and sits on my chest. His dick is right in my face and he pulls my hair back, making me open my mouth. He shoves his cock in and it makes me gag. I don't do anything and Michael pushes the blade into my stomach and threatens me.
"Start sucking bitch or you'll be stabbed." I start sucking. Maybe this will make him untie me. I just want to curl up in a ball and sleep for ten days. I can be the best cocksucker in the world but Michael doesn't deserve it so I do a mediocre job. He comes in my mouth after five minutes and I have no choice but to swallow his disgusting load. He grunts and sighs and then gets off me. I watch him get dressed and pick my cell phone up and put it in his pocket along with his knife. the cuts ob my throat and stomach sting.
"Thanks for the orgasms. See ya later." He says. He starts to walk out but I holler out to him.
"Wait! Untie me! You have to untie me!" I yell at him. He turns back towards me and smirks.
"Do I? I think I'll leave you like this for a few days. Here," He tosses James' ripped Aerosmith t-shirt at me and it lands on my chest, "In case you get cold." He laughs mercilessly and walks out the door. I hear him fumbling in my bathroom across the hall. He walks back in with the pills and pours out a bunch in his hand.
"Here slut. Have these." He shoves the pills in my mouth and makes me swallow them. I'm probably gonna die now, from an overdose. The only thing I want before I go is to see James one more time but I know that's not gonna happen. I wish it would, but it won't. I hear Michael leave and that's when I let go. I sob loudly and beg for help, even though no one can hear me. It's been a half hour but I'm starting to get dizzy and my eyelids are getting heavy. I give in and let them slip closed.
I can feel James' hands as he caresses my skin lovingly. He's placing soft kisses across my chest and neck and face. I know I'm dreaming but I just want to enjoy this. I'm going to die anyway so I might as well get some satisfaction from it. I don't know how long I'm dreaming and imagining James touching me, but now I can hear his voice murmuring in my ear softly. 'I love you' over and over.
"Darling, can you hear me? Oh shit, darling, please please get up." James' voice is really close now. I guess I'm dying faster than I thought.
"Matt! Please! No no no no no. Come on Matt! Get up!" His voice is so sad. I wish I could open my eyes and look at him, but they're so heavy.
"Please god, don't do this to me. Please!" He started sobbing. That's wrong. James doesn't cry. I use all my strength and open my eyes and I see James' upset face hovering above mine.
"Oh thank god. Thank you thank you." James kisses my forehead.
"I'm in heaven now, right?" I whisper. James' face contorts into a mask of confusion, then pain.
"Why would you say that, darling?" He asks me. I knit my eyebrows together.
"Because you're here. You were the last thing I asked for." I say simply. James laughs and it sounds like a sob.
"You're not in heaven darling. You're here on Earth with me." He whispers softly. My eyes widen and I tug on my hands so I can touch him but they're still tied above me. James' notices and quickly unties my hands. As soon as I'm free, I dive into his arms.
"I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. I'll never leave you again." He tells me.
"I've missed you so much." I sob. James places kisses all over my face.
"I've missed you too. I left her, Matt. I'm yours forever." He says. The words that I've wanted to hear for so long.
"I'm so tired James." I whisper. My eyes feel heavy again. All I want is to sleep. James shakes me a little.
"No darling, don't sleep. Not yet. I have to get you to the hospital."
"Why?" I ask confused.
"Because you're bleeding! And he raped you countless times. I just need to make sure you're okay."
"I'm okay. Just tired." I mutter. I'm getting too tired to think straight. I feel James lift me off the bed and dress me in something but I'm losing consciousness again. I can feel him carrying me to his car, because I felt the cold December air hit me hard.
"Please Matt, don't fall asleep yet. Can you tell me what you took yesterday?" my mind is muddled and I say the first thing that pops into my head.
"Michael made me take them earlier." I mumble. When I'm in the car James gets in quickly and starts driving.
"How many did he give you darling?" I grunt. I just want to sleep. Why won't he let me?
"I don't remember." I slip into dark waters after that.
I hate that sound, the sound of a beeping heart monitor. I don't need to open my eyes to know exactly where I am. The only problem is that I don't remember getting here. Michael must have done something bad to me again. This wouldn't be the first time that asshole put me in the hospital.
My throat hurts and I feel really sore. I open my eyes and look around the room. There's someone sitting in a chair by the door, reading the newspaper. I have no clue who it is because I doubt James knows I'm here, Michael could give two shits, and my brother is in Atlanta.
"Who are you?" I ask. I wince at my hoarse voice in the quiet room. The person holding the newspaper whips it aside and I see that it's James. The beeping on my heart monitor goes wild. My eyes go wide and I try to recall why I'm in the hospital.
"How do feel darling?" James stands next to the hospital bed and runs his fingers through my hair. I can't say anything. I'm completely stunned.
"Darling? Say something." James looked worried, but I'm so confused.
"What…what are you doing here?" I ask finally.
"You don't remember?" I shake my head. I dig deep into my brain to remember something. Anything.
"The only thing I remember is being tied to the bed and Michael was…" I trail off as James' face starts to get red.
"I want that fucker behind bars, Matt." I turn my head away and shut my eyes. I remember James saying something about leaving her…I gasp and open my eyes.
"I remember." It comes out as a sob. James grabs me into a tight hug.
"It's okay darling. I'm here now and I'm not leaving" I pull out of the hug and look into his eyes.
"I love you." He whispers to me.
"I love you too." James bends down and gives me a small peck on the lips. Then another. And another. And another, until it turns into a full blown make out session. A nurse comes in and interrupts our fun by telling James he can't get me worked up like that.
Its been two months since James brought me home from the hospital. I'm in the kitchen making us dinner and he comes in with his arms behind his back.
"I have two surprises." He says. I put the the wooden spoon in my hand down and run towards him.
"What are they?" I question. I'm giddy. like a little kid. surprises make me happy, especially James'.
"Pick a hand." I furrow my eyebrows and point to his left hand. He slowly brings it in front of him and he's holding a white and black kitten. I squeal and take it from him.
"I bought him from the pound. His name was Boots at the pound, but you can change it if you want." I shake my head at him and pet Boots on his head.
"He's wonderful. Thank you James." He gives me a kiss and brings out the other hand.
"This is your second surprise." I'm too busy playing with Boots to notice what he has until he pinches me.
"Ow! What was--" I stop as I realize he's holding a little blue velvet box and its open. The ring inside is what I would consider very feminine. It's a big square diamond with rounded edges and it has small round diamonds all around it. I love it.
"I want you to marry me. I want you to be with me for the rest of our lives." I'm stunned into silence. There's nothing I can really say to let him know how much this means to me.
"James this is…this is beautiful." I whisper. I set the cat down and walk closer to him.
"So you'll do it? You'll marry me?" I look into his eyes and I can see the love he feels for me, shining in them.
"Yes." It's all I have time to say because James glues our lips together quickly.
"I love you." He says against my mouth. I grin.