I wrote this when I was 17. For some reason I had a grudge against my entire family.
"It's Christmas time!" They said to me.
"A time for fun and laughter!"
So I went to see just what they meant-
I'll regret it ever after.
"Hold this balloon!" My brother said,
"and tie it to that peg!"
So I climbed the ladder gingerly,
and fell and smashed me leg.
Hobbling round in a plaster cast
Ain't my idea of fun-
(except I like to hop around
"Have a glass of wine!" Mum cried,
"In this Christmas time of cheer, now!"
If I hadn't detected the arsenic smell,
I wouldn't be standing here now.
If that's their way to end a year,
They can sod off with their Christmas cheer!