Author's Note:

Warning: This prologue is cynical and full of uh colorful words. Please, if you worship Walt Disney's princesses then do not continue. (I do not hate Walt Disney.) Anyway, you have been warned.

Side note: I've changed the summary from: Summary: "You mean the retard from Enchanted?" "Yes," I say sweetly, "except I don't befriend chipmunks, I don't come from the sewer and my ass isn't that big. Anymore questions?" What I learned: First impressions are crucial in this modern fairytale. to the one below. :D Which one is better? Tell me what you think. :)

This prologue is dedicated to all the cynics of the world but this entire story concept/idea is dedicated to one of my best guy friends and current seatmate, N. Thanks for opening my eyes to the world of sluts! lol.


Giselle: The Modern Fairytale

Prologue

Summary: He runs a hand through his hair. "Tell me, why?" he asks quietly. "You're everything I love and hate. It's what makes you amazing," I reply, then jokingly, "Don't make me pull out the Bruno Mars card. You're amazing and you know it." Even the cynical princesses have hearts.



Why was Snow White given a poisoned apple?

To show us that not everyone is going to be kind and not everyone is really who they say they are.

Why did Cinderella run away at midnight?

To remind us that everything does have its limitations, even dreams.

Why did Ariel exchange her fins for feet?

To show us that people are willing to give up anything to be with who they love just to be happy.

Why did Princess Aurora sleep for 100 years?

To tell us that you might have to wait for quite some time for your true love to come along, sometimes very long...but it's worth it.

Why did Princess Jasmine fall for Aladdin?

To let us know that what the heart wants, it wants it no matter what.

Why was Belle in love with a beast?

To remind us that you can't really help what's on the outside, but if the inside is beautiful, then nothing will stand in the way of your love.

After all, inside every confident woman is a fragile princess waiting to be saved…

-- Found somewhere in tumblr…

. . .

One hundred eighty-seven words of complete, utter and all-natural bull. Nine hundred sixty-nine characters of nothing but crappy lies and yes, the spaces are included.

Damn Disney princesses hypnotizing the innocent—they deceive kids for Krispy Kreme's sake—with their flowing, swishy gowns, oh-so selfless nature, jeweled crowns and supposed beauty. Can anyone spell 'bullshit'? C-i-n-d-e-r-e-l-l-a…or better yet A-r-i-e-l and S-n-o-w-W-h-i-t-e, who is the least 'pretty' Disney princess I have ever seen. Thank the gods for that.

But hey, want to know my—much more realistic—answers?

Why was Snow White given a poisoned apple?

Because even the ugliest and bitchiest of step mothers knew how much of a gullible retard Snow White was and yes, the redundancy is necessary to fully emphasize how moronic she was. Who accepts an apple—a fruit that grows on frigging trees—from wrinkled old ladies who look like they have jillions of cats at home?

Why did Cinderella run away at midnight?

Because she was trying to pull out a stupid façade for Prince Charming to somehow 'fall in love with her' and really, what kind of a moral is that? Pretend you're some brilliant heiress just to get into guys' pants? Ooh, nice one, Cinderella.

Why did Ariel exchange her fins for feet?

Simple, because she was too busy lusting over Eric's chest to know what she was doing which is even more idiotic than that dwarves' maid, Snow White. Tee hee, look at me, I'm Ariel, the sea kingdom's spoiled brat. I'm so freaking pretty! In fact, I'm so pretty that I'm sure even without my voice, Prince Eric will take me to his bed and not just for a sleepover. Giggle. Giggle. I think I'm in love.

Why did Princess Aurora sleep for 100 years?

Because she had nothing to do in her life aside from waiting for the oh-so heroic prince destined to save her. To further accentuate her meaninglessness, not even the fairies woke her up. I'm betting that they wanted her to sleep for eternity or maybe even dead but they took pity on her parents.

Why did Princess Jasmine fall for Aladdin?

Because she was some out of control brat who wanted to show Agrabah that she was some sort of a hardcore rebel. Didn't the pet tiger make that obvious?

Why was Belle in love with a beast?

Oh gee golly whimsical whiskers, this one's hard. Insert very much needed eye-roll here. Because when Beast magically turned into Sir Oozing-with-sex-appeal, it just had to be love at first sight…not.

Don't get me started on the fragile princess part.

Oh I forget. This is a prologue.

Wow, I'm sorry for showing off my cynical side too soon but then again, it would make its appearance soon enough.

Now, let's just get this clear, I'm not one of those so-called cynics who say, 'fuck romance' but deep inside, want a prince for themselves. I don't disbelieve in love. Wait that sounded complicated. Let me rephrase, I believe in love and I really think that I'll find it some day. It's just that in high school, it's all about infatuations, crushes and the famously infamous lust. There is no love.

And don't confuse me for one of them anti-social people who are cynical on the inside but terribly shy on the outside, because seriously, I can be a bitch though I prefer the term, 'kick-ass pessimist'.

I date and I'm not a virgin. I have friends. I go out. I'm not afraid to have a little fun or to 'let loose'. I'm opinionated.

Don't stereotype me for one of those royal Queen Bitch people. I can be generally nice, wait I am generally nice but like every other human being on this terrain we call 'Earth', I have limits.

Oh and I get mistaken for a bimbo or a slut or…sometimes both. I say mistaken because I don't sleep around. I have dignity and being called as a whore is degrading…which is why next month, at the start of my senior year in my new school, Whitman Academy, I will prove everyone wrong and show them who I really am. After all, first impressions are crucial in my tale…

You know what; I think I want to call my tale a fairytale. Not because I think I'll find my very own Prince Eric but because there's 'airy' in fairytale. Yeah, that's right, I'm positive that there would be a lot of airheads in my story. Besides, a little irony never hurts…but don't expect me to use the 'Once upon a time' shit deal, my little novella would be a modern fairytale.

Back to what I was saying, first impressions are crucial in this modern fairytale. And I, Giselle, will make my first impression legen—wait for it and I hope you aren't lactose-intolerant 'cause the second half of this word is—dairy.

…Don't you just love the show, How I Met Your Mother?


Author's Note:

How was it? A bit cynical but I wanted to plunge into the dark, murky waters. This is the result. :P A little perspective from YOU would definitely be awesome. And by the way, How I Met Your Mother is awesome!

I disclaim the "found somewhere in tumblr part" It is found in tumblr. So sorry for the confusion. :) -- November 25.


Amethyst Penn © (Author ID: 697805)

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