Author Notes: This story came from the idea of my own journals. I wanted to record my meandering thoughts and this little story came into existance. Hope you enjoy. Just please go with the story. It kind of gets a bit serious on the way through. :)
Journals in the City
Alex Anger management
My name is Alex and I am alone. I have been alone for most of my life. Why? well my mother was a hopeless drunk and my father could care less. I mean when you are too busy with other women you have no time for your children. I had to fend for myself since I was fourteen years old. Its not natural really. I don't know how I made it this far in my life. At the Age of 14 I started working at McDonalds. I had to trick my mother into signing my working papers. I even had to fool her into helping get a bank account. You see.. I wanted to divorce my parents. My dad was with some skank of course Sigh. I saved my money up and got myself emancipated. I Was able to leave my parents quietly. No. let me tell the truth. I ran away and came to New York.
At the time I was relieved. I had a new found freedom. I really didn't consider just hard it would be living alone. Learning how to pay rent and buying the clothes on my back. It was ruff but I survived. And now I am here. Living and breathing. But…
I wish loneliness would just leave me alone. I didn't really feel compatible with others especially my piers. I was the greasy fat kid they always love to tease and use as a punching bag. The same kid that jocks love to intimidate into to doing their homework. I was no idiot. Which is interesting because my parents were complete losers and morons. Hnn. Jocks they thought they were so cool. Too cool to do it themselves.
Well journal that's enough sharing. I am required to do this for therapy.
Alex and his parents
Well journal here I go again. You know my therapist is getting boring. Anyway, last time I talked about my bullies in high school. Well, my therapist thought it best I write about my anger on paper. Release and unload my issues and all that mess. To tell you the truth I don't feel any different. I was a typical fat kid with terrible examples for parents. I mean they could care less about my health and they were truly self absorbed individuals. They were so focused on themselves that they failed to see me sitting there needing them. I was a child.
Let's see…my mother was a drunk and a whore. You see if any one called my mother that I wouldn't even flinch. That was the truth. What Journal? You think that's wrong? Well, my mother was into booze and her men or women if the itch arose. What!? it's the truth. Anyway, She would come home all drunk and smelly. Now, as a kid there is a smell you can't really decipher. Well, let's just say that I know what that smell my mother had after she came home from a date. Don't get me wrong…I love her. But she was not known for her self respect. I know journal… every boy loves their mother. He's like a second husband and all that. That is bull. There are men the cower behind their mothers. Me… no I walk away and don't look back.
Now, what about my father you say? Well, My father was a player most days. "papa was a rolling stone" LOL. I couldn't resist Anyway, he would bring some broad in our place and take her to his and mom's bed. Oh did I mention that my mom would join them? Hn.. Swingers. Disgusting. I mean I was a kid for Christ's sake needing their love and attention and all they do is screw other people while I am sitting on the couch watching TV.
It's a crying shame really. Who new adults had so much energy for debauchery. Man if I did all those things as a kid I would have lost weight earlier. I am of course slimmer. I wouldn't say I am skinny I am at the ideal weight for a six foot four man.
Alright Journal that's it for the night. Its lights out.