Warning: Gay porn ahead. First time, too. If it sucks, tell me so I can fix it. Also, tell me how.

o hey der, it's character name pronunciation help time!

STRESSED is bold, UNSTRESSED is normal.

Kaotin – Noble pronunciation (because they are pompous jackasses): KAH – HOE – tin. Everyone else pronunciations: KAH – OH – tin. But for the love of Kaotin, don't call him 'Cow – tin.' That's so offensive to him. He is not a bovine.

Ardor – Arrrrrr (like, pirate 'arrr') – dor (like door), and for the unknowing, Ardor is a word. The real pronunciation of the word is something like 'ahr – der' but Ardor says F that.

Black – For the mentally impaired, I'll try my hardest: 'BLAH – KUH'

Lain – Lane or Line. Depends on the person. For the most part, he doesn't care how you say it.

Eve – Eve. Like, Christmas Eve. If you want, you can call her E – VEE. She hopes not, though.

-

-

c. o1; time for an execution

-

-

It had been raining.

"Today, we are gathered here to witness the execution of Prince Kaotin Levar Augusti XVI. He shall be hanged for treason – "

Take a step forward. Don't slip. Don't fall.

" – murder, conspiracy, heresy, corruption – "

Another. Inches away from the noose.

"– and betrayal to our country. Any final words?"

Look up, into his eyes. "I want pants."

The executioner sneers. Wraps the noose much too tightly. "Very well. Jump or be pushed, the choice is yours." Pushes Kaotin off anyways. Not that his lack of choice mattered. Kaotin will be dead either way. Back to where he started.

The rope snaps. Kaotin hits the ground, knees bent, head bowed. Long, raven black hair shadows his face. All are silent as he slowly rises, amber eyes like liquid fire staring at anyone who dared to look; they are awestruck, horrified. Kaotin, on the other hand, was really confused.

The shock quickly wears off; the guards react, giving chase. The crowd screams. Kaotin runs right into the crowd. He doesn't know where to go. He didn't plan on living. He wasn't going to ignore this, though. Then he feels it. A tug in his chest. Go to left. The slums, it says.

He goes. Arms reach out and pull him into the darkness as he rounds a corner. A hand covers his mouth and lips whisper into his ear, "Be silent. Don't panic." It's soothing. The touches sent shivers down his spine. It also sends other things straight towards his dick. Great, he was getting horny in public.

All the same, Kaotin relaxes. That feeling in his chest tells him he's safe now. Don't worry. It also tells him a good fuck is coming up.

The hand moves, as does the rest of the body it is attached to. Kaotin mourns the lack of touch as the person steps into the street. He has bright red hair. It is straight. Kaotin knows that his eyes would be green. He knows there would be bandages covering his right eye. He knows this because the person is Demon Ardor. A distinct person.

Voices beside him say, "This is a match made in Hell. Prince Kaotin and Demon Ardor. We're all fucked." They're rather sardonic.

Then Kaotin realizes what the feeling was in his chest. His connection with Ardor, predestined by some deity that he really wanted to backhand right now. Out loud, he says, "Shit."

"You said it. How did you get away?"

Kaotin looks to the side, towards the speaker. Black haired, black eyed, the right hand man of Ardor's. Unimaginatively, his name was Black. "Magic," replies Kaotin. He was joking. He actually had no idea how.

Black can't tell. Many can't. Kaotin is good at being a lifeless, expressionless, dead doll. Black shrugs and looks back at Ardor. "You and him… you're not going to get along. From what I've heard and am currently experiencing, you're an emotionless droid."

Kaotin scowls. The only time he was an 'emotionless droid' was near nobles and other morons. Which was almost always and in the public. He only shows emotions to those he likes, which was no one. In the palace, anyways. Except maybe – No, don't think about him.

Black continues, "Ardor is a quiet guy, but he values thought and feeling, you know."

"I'm not a moron," snaps Kaotin. "And I am capable of emotion. Sometimes."

"Whatever you say, your Highness."

Kaotin resisted the urge to say, 'suck cock!' He glances over and sees Black smirking, thinking he won. "Lick balls, asswipe," slips out.

That raises a few eyebrows. Not that Kaotin could see. It was just for the record. What he could see was Ardor and a platoon of guards. Or was it a phalanx? Regiment? He never knew their names, but knew how to effectively organize them. Now, he could see Ardor's ass. Kaotin wonders if it could get any bigger. He also wonders if a certain something else is big.

Beside him, Black says, "He has a really nice ass."

"Yeah, and it's mine now." Ha. Kaotin looks smugly at Black's appalled silence. There was an implied, 'mother fucker' at the end.

"I never knew you were such an asshole."

"That's what Havilon said before I pushed him down three flights of stairs."

"Jesus. Wait – if you did that… then it was you who always dropped flower pots onto Duke Jale, wasn't it?"

"Hell yeah. I even told him so. He adamantly believes it was the work of demons and that," here, Kaotin's voice changes into a higher pitch, "'My precious Kaotin is far too sweet to even think about harming me.'"

"So you're a vindictive asshole."

"That I am," Kaotin confirms. "Better check your food tonight. Never know when I might slip some arsenic into your drink."

Black looks slightly disturbed but says nothing. He and Kaotin went back to watching Ardor, whom was scrubbing, mopping, and sweeping the floor with the regiment—slash—phalanx—slash—platoon—slash—whatever guards. They were that bad. Kaotin wonders what Ardor would look like in a maid outfit. A gothic one.

Shortly after Kaotin's and Black's conversation, Ardor joins them. He doesn't say much; just tilts his head at Black while staring at Kaotin. Eyes show amusement at what he's wearing. Kaotin tries his hardest to ignore it all. Doesn't do very well, because he blushes. Still feels Ardor looking at him. Feels his eyes looking lower and lower.

"Ardor, I wish you luck," says Black, inadvertently stopping Kaotin from jumping Ardor. "Your dahrlen is a complete douchebag. You should probably check your food for poison and be careful when you sleep. Never know when you might get a knife in your back like his father."

Kaotin glares at Black. First of all, his daddykins deserved that. Secondly, he was definitely slipping some arsenic into Black's food tonight. Or cyanide. Maybe both, just to be safe and thorough. Kaotin glances back at Ardor to see him smiling. Well, 'smiling' was stretching it. The corners of his mouth barely lift up.

"Also, don't let him on elevated places with flower pots nearby and don't stand near stairs." Black looks really smug at his indirect verbal abuse.

Kaotin wants to punch him in the privates, but he has better things to be doing, such as getting somewhere private as soon as possible. With Ardor. He clears his throat. "Can we, uh, make a detour before we go to wherever we're going?"

Ardor raises an eyebrow. Kaotin gets the distinct feeling that he is laughing at him on the inside. Ass.

"I'm going to take that as a yes and I'm going to lead now. Oh, and this is for you." Kaotin hands Black the ropes that had bound his wrists together. He starts to remove the one around his neck.

"What the – "

Kaotin turns on his heels and walks off really quickly. Tosses the noose aside when he gets it off. He knew his way around any part of the city thanks to his rather rambunctious childhood. Didn't have to worry about getting lost. Whoopee.

After a few minutes of walking, Black gets antsy. "Where are we going? You're not leading us to our deaths, are you?"

"Of course I am. You see those guards over there? I'm going to turn you in and get my reward money, because I obviously hadn't avoided my scheduled death earlier." Kaotin rolls his eyes, not that Black could see.

"Can't you be nice for two seconds and answer a valid question?"

"I'll be nice whenever you stop being such a suspicious dimwit."

It was silent for a bit. Curious, Kaotin looks over his shoulders. Ardor is trying his hardest not to laugh. His shoulders were shaking, though. Black is sulking. The former prince turns around again and continues walking, smirking a bit to himself.

They were in the rich—slash—noble distract now. Kaotin walks up to a rather prestigious mansion. It belonged to a viscount named Origi. Kaotin knocks on the front door, looking as bored as he felt. Glances over his shoulder again as he's waiting and notes that neither Black nor Ardor are behind him. Were probably hiding in some bushes. Suspicious dimwits.

A servant girl answers. She screams bloody murder upon sight of Kaotin. Gets a quick jab to the neck. Falls unconscious. Makes a loud thump that has Kaotin wincing. She'll probably have a huge bump on her head when she wakes up. And a sore neck.

Soon, Origi appears with a group of footmen and whatnots. Mouth drops open in surprise. "K—kao… tin?"

Meekly, Kaotin peers up at him from under dark lashes. "May we speak? Alone?"

The guards—slash—footmen looked suspicious. Origi looks confused. Eventually, he agrees. Sends off the guards, steps out, and closes the door.

All pretenses drop from Kaotin's face. He is back to his default scowl and glares. "You asshat. I hope you're happy I took the fall for you. Don't get killed climbing up the social ladder. Don't let the country fall to pieces." Doesn't even wait for a reply.

Viscount Origi stares with mouth agape as Kaotin stomps off towards a bush. Eyebrows disappear into hairline when the ex-prince kicks a bush. Chokes on spittle when people stumble out, cursing and yelling. Asphyxiates as he realizes who they are.

By the time he hits the ground, they're gone.

"What the hell was that about?" Black demands once they were far enough for him to feel comfortable about bitching and stuff.

"That's the man who got me on death row."

"Oh… What?!" He actually stops walking. "Why didn't you shank him?! Seems like something you'd do to someone who got you dethroned."

"Didn't have a shiv on me," replies Kaotin. "The people who had any weapons whatsoever were hiding in a bush like pussies."

Black glares. "It's called caution. How would we know if you were going to turn us in our not?"

"I'm not a moron. I'd probably get jailed along with you. Besides, that's not caution. That's being a wimp."

"That's being smart. Smart people know what caution is. You don't, which means you're a moron."

"Smart people know how to use it effectively."

By the time the trio exited the city and made it to camp, Black was apoplectic. Stomps through the whole place, angrily barking out orders and rearranging objects that serve to further confuse other people rather than help.

Kaotin glances at Ardor and notes that he is still trying to restrain his laughter. A little push, and he'd probably die of laughter.

"Black, I'm sorry. Let's be friends."

"No."

"Come on. Let's share war stories."

"No."

"You know the Battle of Meadi wouldn't have been possible if it weren't for Havilon's mother."

"No – What? She had absolutely nothing to do with it." Mockingly, he says, "You're a military genius." Secretly, he doubts Kaotin knew what two plus two was.

"The men I commanded belonged to Havilon, but as you know, he hates me. Thanks, by the way."

"Wait, then how did you – oh god, no please."

"I slept with his mother." A lie, but Kaotin did flirt with her. He lets a sly smile stretch across his face.

"God, the windbag? The pile of bones? The… the… ancient being?!" Black looks aghast. Probably would have nightmares for weeks. Months.

Ardor can't take it anymore and bursts out laughing. Everyone stops and stares. Kaotin surmises that Ardor doesn't laugh a lot. He soaks in the moment. His zalen's laugh is pretty sexy, in the 'I–will–strangulate–you–with–my–belt–and–I–will–fuck–you–up–the–ass–as–you're–asphyxiating' kind of way. God, he was getting really hard thinking about it. Kaotin has no idea why, as being choked by a belt and asphyxiating is rather unappealing. The ass pounding, he can understand.

Stifling his hysterics, Ardor takes one look at Black and Kaotin and he's laughing his ass off again. Slowly, he walks off, trying to breathe and not laugh. Kaotin's eyes linger on his ass. Mmm…

"I. Fucking. Despise. You," Black grits out when Ardor was out of earshot. Glares daggers at Kaotin's face when his head snaps over to look at him. The ex-prince feels like he got stabbed in the face seventeen times.

"Oh, don't be such a baby," Kaotin teases.

The black-haired man lets out a scream of frustration. "Why did it have to be you?!"

"What?"

"Why did you – of all people in the entire, god damned world – have to be Ardor's fucking dahrlen?!" Then Black's eyes widen and he has a wicked smile on his face. "Hey… that means you're the submissive one. Hahaha, you're the wife. Go make me a sandwich, woman."

Kaotin returns the seventeen glare-daggers full force. He grunts rather angrily and swears in a dead language. "I am not a house wife," he finally snaps. Crosses his arms and sulks.

"Aw, did I hurt your itty bitty wittle fweelings?"

"I'll hurt your 'itty bitty wittle pwenis' if you keep this up."

Black is back to his glaring and cursing again. "Fuck you. I am well endowed, thank you. Ask around."

"I don't want your STDs."

"Not like that – you know what? Whatever. I will be the mature one and walk away."

Kaotin shrugs. "Okay." Follows Black when he starts to walk away.

"Why are you following me?!" he demands rather desperately.

"I never said I would walk away."

Black lets out a strangled scream and stomps toward a fellow bandit—slash—camp member. "Help me, Eve," he almost begs. "I have a large, parasitic problem – " Kaotin hisses and latches a hand onto Black's arm, like a parasite.

"Rawr, am parasite."

Eve, a black haired, purple-eyed beauty, was silent. Then she laughs. And laughs. And laughs. She proves to be incredibly unhelpful in the removal of Kaotin.

Fed up, Black continues onto the next person. "Lain. You're mature. Help me remove this leech."

Lain was a severe looking man. Probably beats people with rulers. Or brooms. He grunts and rumbles out, "Please act your age, your excellency, instead of like an adolescent."

"I am an adolescent."

It takes Black a few seconds to understand what he said. He's beyond shocked at this. "How old are you?!" he screeches. "I thought you were twenty-two!"

"Seventeen. Turning eighteen in a month."

"Oh god, Ardor is a pedophile now?"

"What? Isn't he twenty-ish? Twenty-one?"

"Twenty-five."

"Oh…"

"And a half."

They stare at each other for a bit. Kaotin shrugs again. "Oh well."

"What – nevermind. You will only terrorize me if I ask."

"Aww, you're learning. I'm so proud!"

Black eyes a nearby stick. Wonders if he could get away with impaling his boss' wife in the eyes. He was pretty sure he could run away fast enough, and there were other bandit groups he could join…

"Don't do it," Lain says to Black. For the most part, Lain actually likes Black in the 'let's—hump—and—make—out—for—a—few—hours' kind of way. Not that anyone knows that.

Kaotin wasn't even paying attention. Actually, he was staring off into space with a blank look. Then he returns to reality and looks around, confused. "Hey, do you guys know a 'Simon Mus'? 'Cause he says you owe him a funeral pyre for punching him in the cock and pushing him off a cliff."

"What the – are you psychic?"

"No, I'm a lich."

"You mean leech?"

It was Kaotin's turn to be huffy and angry and pouty. "Fine, whatever. I'll give Simon the A-OK to haunt your asses. I'll even help him." He stomps off to go look for Ardor. Kaotin really hated being called a leech because that implied people thought he was a vampire.

He was not.

As Kaotin stomps away, Black yells out, "Nice dress by the way!" Kaotin hopes to all the gods he knows that his hard-on isn't apparent. He also hopes that one of them will smite Black.

Kaotin flushes. Glances down at the grey dress the jailors had mockingly placed him in. Said it 'brought out his inner woman' and it 'matched his pretty little face' and that his 'dainty little body was just perfect' for it. They were going to say more, but a foot to the nutsacks stopped that. Besides, the only thing his 'dainty little body' was perfect for was Ardor's—Derail, derail, derail, derail you horrible train of thought, Kaotin mentally wails to himself. He is reminded of why he hated the whole 'your—lover—is—predestined—by—the—gods' thing.

It didn't take Kaotin long to find Ardor's tent. For one, it was bigger than everyone elses' and two, he had a mini Ardor-radar built into his metaphorical heart—slash—emotions—slash—everything intangible that humans seem to possess.

He hesitates outside the tent. He'd knock, but it's a tent. And there was that one worrying thought about him and Ardor. They were, after all, soulmates—slash—soul buddies—slash soul… anythings… and they needed to go… consummate... their… bonds… Oh hell, he had to go sleep with a complete stranger. His brain melts a little bit.

Wait.

Well, he didn't have much of a choice. The damned bond they shared was making him so damn horny for Ardor over the most trivial things. Kaotin shrugs and just darts in. He was so fucking horny, damn it, and only Ardor could help him.

The inside of the tent definitely defied the laws of physics and logic. Its size rivaled one of the palace's large ballrooms.

"Jesus, how do you fit this inside a god damned tent?" Kaotin wonders aloud.

He jumps when a voice replies. "Magic."

"O—oh," Kaotin stutters under Ardor's gaze. He never stuttered, damn it. "Co—convenient." Wishes the emerald eyes would look somewhere else, instead of right into his eyes.

"It is. That is why we have no problem packing up camp and moving elsewhere." He looks over Kaotin's attire again. Raises an eyebrow. Secretly, he's wondering what Kaotin looks like without it on.

The ex-prince blushes. "I didn't pick this damn dress," he says quickly. Inwardly, he wanted to cut off his blood circulation. Damn blushing and damn blood pooling… down… there… Argh! Kaotin had just imagined a certain someone doing something down there.

Ardor hums, interrupting his thought. Kaotin's head snaps up at the sound. His face is burning up in embarrassment. Ardor doesn't comment. Turns away and stalks off to some corner that held a multitude of dressers and drawers instead. "Come," he calls as he bends over and digs around for clothes. Oh, godddd, Kaotin mentally screams.

Slowly, he walks over. Kaotin really hated the whole dominant—submissive thing in same sex relationships (called zalen and dahrlen, respectively). He also hated how Ardor radiated dominance right now and all he was doing was bending over and digging through some clothes.

"Here. These are the smallest things I have. You're tiny." Ardor's eyes are laughing for him this time.

Kaotin scowls and almost snatches the clothes from him. His survival instincts knew better.

The clothes were huge; made apparent when he held them out to look at them. "I doubt they'll fit."

"It's either that or the dress."

"I think I'll go for the dress." Actually, I'd rather go for both of us nude –

Ardor lets out a growl. Advances rather slowly. Starts to pull off Kaotin's dress. Hands linger too long against his skin.

"Wha – what are you doing?" the ex-prince squeaks. His eyes are open wide and staring at Ardor. Don't touch me or I'll fucking rape you!

"Changing you. Obviously."

"Obviously," Kaotin tries to reply sarcastically. It comes out as a, 'ah – ah – vi…ously.' He sounded like a slut.

Ardor gets frustrated at trying to pull off the dress the proper way. Rips it off instead. Draws a shriek from Kaotin. His lips part as he looks at his dahrlen. Yum.

The former prince is wondering how he's keeping under control so well. He was also really embarrassed. Was blushing avidly and he was pretty sure his ass was blushing too. Oh, god. "Cl – clothes – " Kaotin lets out a gasp when Ardor presses his lips onto his neck. His breath turns ragged when Ardor starts sucking.

Kaotin grabs a fistful of red hair when biting was added to the mix. "I know – that –" he forgets the rest of what he intended to say as Ardor's lips travel downwards. Towards a nipple. Kaotin moans and his legs give out. He would've fallen, but Ardor holds up Kaotin by wrapping his arms around him. Kaotin presses into Ardor as he sucks on his rather sensitive nipples.

Ardor's hands travel from Kaotin's back and waist to his ass. He squeezes none too gently, drawing another moan from Kaotin.

Abruptly, Kaotin remembers the rest of his sentence. 'I know that the bond will make us horny bastards until we consummate, but I don't want to fuck yet! We're practically strangers!' It comes out like this: "Ah – dohrrr, fucking fuck me!"

The red haired man replies with an absent, "mmm." He decides to stop playing with Kaotin's nipples and straightens up to kiss Kaotin on the lips. He pushes his tongue in and soon, both of them are engaged in a tongue – versus – tongue war. Kaotin was definitely not going to lose in this department, damn it. He promptly loses when Ardor squeezes his ass again. He gasps.

Ardor pulls away and curses. "Damn it. Sometimes I wish I were a typical person and hid lube in my drawers."

Kaotin wonders how he can speak so coherently. He can do it too! "Just fuck me dry, I don't care." He just wishes his sentences could contain things besides 'let's—fuck—already' thoughts.

Before he knows it, Kaotin is on the floor. Ardor's knee is pressed between his legs. His lips were biting and sucking on various parts of Kaotin's body. "Suck," he commands, pushing two fingers into Kaotin's mouth.

Kaotin readily complies. He sucks, nibbles, everything he could think of. Sometimes he bites a little harshly because Ardor has a really talented tongue. Also seems to have a good sense of where to use that tongue.

Ardor decides it was enough and pulls his fingers out. He smirks at the way Kaotin whines when he pushes a finger in. And out. And in. Slowly. Kaotin lets out a little scream when Ardor adds in another finger. And another. He pulls his fingers out soon enough. "This might hurt," was all Kaotin got as a warning before Ardor pushes himself in. Harshly.

"Oh god!" Kaotin screams, arching up against Ardor. "It hurts," he grits out. He digs his nails into Ardor's back when he starts quickening his pace. Ardor growls at the stinging feeling in his back. Pounds even harder into Kaotin in response. The tinier of the two starts to rake his claws down Ardor's back, screaming. "Harder!"

Ardor complies, driving harder into Kaotin. Starts biting the shell of Kaotin's ear. Whispers sweet nothings into his ear. Wraps a hand around Kaotin's leaking member and strokes him at the same rapid pace as his thrusts.

Kaotin lets out a half wail, half moan. Doubts he can take much more of this. Ardor keeps hitting that spot that had his vision blurring. Has him screaming like a wanton whore. Has him pressing himself as close as he could to Ardor. "I'm coming – " He lets out a low moan and climaxes.

With even harsher thrusts, Ardor joins him soon after. He doesn't collapse on top of him. Holds himself up and pants. Growls a little bit when Kaotin decides it's a good idea to remove his nails from Ardor's back. Ouch.

Kaotin lets out a content sigh and relaxes his body. Closes his eyes. He feels incredibly sated. Probably looked like it. He feels Ardor nuzzling his cheek. Let's out a whiny sound when Ardor gets up.

"Do you need a towel?" Ardor sounds a little out of it. He is also amused about the smile on Kaotin's face. Thinks his dahrlen looks adorable. Like a kitten.

Kaotin shifts, distracting him. "Yeah, that'd be nice. Unless you want to finger paint with the jizz. That's fine too."

The vulgarity of the comment makes Ardor laugh really hard. He seems to be doing that a lot lately. It was nice. "Are you going to lay down all night?"

"Probably."

"Alright." Ardor scoops Kaotin up and gently places him onto his bed not too far from where they were. He disappears somewhere, getting a towel. Or cloth. Whatever.

Kaotin can't tell right now. The softness of the bed feels like a cloud. Kaotin'd definitely have sex with the bed. Wonders if he could do it without letting Ardor know. Then wonders how he'd fuck the bed. Like, where would he –

Ardor groans when he stubs a toe on some waylaid piece of furniture. "Here," he finally says, after hopping about on one leg and massaging the other. Absently hands Kaotin the towel. Purses his lips. Thinking about how to tell Kaotin not to take it personally if they never fucked for a good few… hundred years. Ardor was one peg below asexual and because of that, isn't interested in sex. He practically raped Kaotin earlier because of their bond—connection thing.

"What are you thinking about?"

Ardor snaps back to reality. He now notices Kaotin's face was inches from his own. Curiously was written all over it. "Uh…"

Kaotin gives him a dry look. "You're more empty-headed than I thought if 'uh' is all you can think about."

Ardor began to understand why Black wanted to strangle Kaotin. His glib sarcasm was rather scary (and annoying) when paired with his expressionless face. Like, what if he said, 'gawd, gurlfrand. Let's go shoppin'!' in a preppy voice but his facial muscles never moved…

"Heyyy," Kaotin whispers. Waves a hand in Ardor's face.

"Do you want to fuck?"

"Uh…"

Good job, Ardor. Good job. "I mean, do you want to have sex again at a later date somewhere in the near or far future?"

"Uh… It… depends?" Honestly, how does one reply to this? Kaotin sure as hell didn't know.

"Oh. Well, I'm going to warn you now that you'll have to try really hard to get it… on… with me… Yeah," Ardor finishes lamely.

"Erectile dysfunction?"

"What? No! I'm just something below asexual."

"Uh huh."

Where was his cutlass when he needed it to prove his point via knifepoint?

"Oh, don't worry. One look at me and your loins would be aflame," jokes Kaotin. He poses rather seductively.

"You are so skinny," Ardor deadpans, "that I could use you as a projectile spear."

"Fuck you," snaps Kaotin. "Projectile spears are javelins."

"Spears are longer. Actually, now that I think about it, you're more of a lance than anything." Because, come on. Kaotin has to be really tall to reach Ardor's chin. Ardor is something below seven feet tall.

Kaotin crosses his arms and pouts. This sudden freedom of expression and speech was invigorating. Pouting in the palace meant someone was getting their heads chopped off to appease him. Pouting in Ardor's tent meant someone – namely him – was going to be teased.

"Stop pouting, Sir Lancelot. Put some clothes on. We're going to eat with the others." And see how well the others last against Kaotin. This will be hilarious.

-

-

I value coherency. It's hard to get that when you're writing slash, though. You have to use two 'he' and 'his' and 'him' and all in one paragraph and yeah. Sometimes it's hard to tell which one is which. IF SO, tell me what paragraph.

On another note, god I hate writing porn and then have some family member call me over to wash xxx and xxx then go clean xxx's room and fish the xxx out of the toilet and then I return… not in the mood.

Christ.

Quoting friend, 'He whipped his cock out and rammed that shit hard as fuck.' Tried to work it in. Didn't work so well. Maybe next time!