empty words fall on
deaf eyes and
hollow promises are said
To fallen angels and
pretentioUs laughs are made
with false fRiends--
it's all a lie
i'm Not me

scorching SOdomy is
what i've become
bUrning Temples
Is what has become of me
wish i could tell
but there it is in
a facebook message that
will never be answereD

i can't eat
can't sleep
can't dream
can't work
can't pretend
can't think
straight (up)

when a fantasy is
all that matters then
nOthiNg really exisTs
but my world is
picture (im)perfect--
red is to paint
as brush is to blade
as skin is to canvas
and ooh fuck it doesn't
hurt but i can hear that
titanium rip-rip-rippinG
my skin like intruders
slashing a million dollar painting--
but i'm nOt ThaT priceless
and to be honest
i'd sell my soul for free
but i'm not like that becAuse
one CAn't beLieve in the deviL
if god doesn't exist

hold me
love me
tell me
that it'll be okay

but i guess this is
like what-the-Fuck-ever
and i swear too much nOw
to myself
at school
with fRiends
in poems
in statuses
but not at HomE
my parents wouLdn't care--
wouldn't notice--
but i don't want to
corruPt the baby girl
and i've got to keep up
the perfect little girl
image so dangerously upheld

i sort of need
to believe in
but i can't trust anyone
these days really
next person to tell me
that it gets better
can expect a lot of
hate mail-- that's not
a threat but it's a promise
just go the fuck away

because i have her now


a/n; i really love you all and I would not send you hate mail, but really don't tell me that it gets better. and, if you're wondering, i am not with her, but she has promised to go to a guidance counselor with me (which i'm sure bloodfeeder is happy about).