I'll take you home, let your mind,
let your body lose control.
Hold your breath, don't let me go.
– Amy Meredith
The rest of the day passed by in a blur. I went to class, I did the work, copying down whatever was written on the boards without taking anything in, kept quiet at lunch while the girls I was friends with smoked and laughed over some trashy magazine or another, while talking about their various sex lives. It didn't take long before the day was over, and I found myself on the bus heading home. It was funny how I couldn't seem to remember most of what had happened today. Was it dumb, letting a stupid dream get to me? I couldn't help but dwell on it though. It had been so frightening, and yet… I don't know. I shook my head. No, don't be stupid. Of course it's okay to be a little shaken right? The thoughts kept circling around in my head, even as I entered my house and was greeted by silence.
A note on the fridge told me that my mother was out, again. No doubt she wasn't coming home tonight, so I wearily pulled out a frozen meal from the fridge and popped it into the microwave. The humming managed to calm me down a little, and I gave a little sigh. Since there was nothing else to do but wait, I decided that a shower was long overdue.
Despite how weary I felt, I managed to pull myself into the bathroom and locked the door before turning on the water. I stripped off and stepped into the glass cubicle, and the first hit of water pounding against my back managed to dissolve some of my stress from today. I leaned my head against the white tiles and closed my eyes. I don't know how long I stood there like that, posed like a mannequin in a shop window, listening to the water hit the floor.
His eyes... his lips pressed firmly against mine... His hands sliding over my body…
I gasped and opened my eyes, slamming my fist onto the wall in frustration.
"Get a grip!" I whispered furiously to myself. It was just hormones right? That would explain everything. After all, I've never had a boyfriend, and not many crushes either come to think of it. I mean, surely I'm not the first girl to have had a dream like… that. I tried to rationalise the whole thing in my head as the water ran down my body in streams. And anyway, since Nina was talking about the things she got up to with her boyfriend today, it was only natural that some of that slipped through into my thoughts. I blushed slightly, remembering the lewd conversation from lunch. Sometimes I wonder if things would be different if I was in another school, with people like me who actually cared about studying. Perhaps then I wouldn't be in this situation right now.
Eventually, I stepped out of the shower and dried myself off, slipping into undergarments and my favourite pyjamas - blue with teddy bears scattered across the fabric. I grabbed my food out of the microwave, ate it mechanically before heading back to my room. The good thing about microwave dinners was that there was no washing up afterwards. I headed towards my room and stepped inside, yawning slightly as I felt around for the light switch. My foot almost immediately collided with a large, solid object.
"Son of a b-!" I bit back the almost curse as I hopped around, one hand grasping my throbbing foot and the other fumbling for the light switch. I finally managed to locate the knob, and the room was filled with light. I looked down to see that my foot had indeed collided with the side of my bed stand. I muttered more obscenities as I hopped towards my bed.
I wasn't normally clumsy at all. I decided it was probably karma informing me that I was a disgusting dirty-minded girl who deserved the pain. I nursed my foot for a bit longer, staring through my window at the sky. The sun was setting already, leaving the normally white clouds streaked with pink and orange hues. I should be doing homework, but let's face it, with my current state of mind nothing was going to get done tonight. Maybe sleep would cure me of this feeling. I sighed and hobbled over to my curtains, drawing them closed and ducked back into bed.
I snuggled into my pillow, trying to clear my mind of everything unsettling. I remembered Trix telling the rest of us about a party coming up at someone's house. Maybe I should go, I thought drowsily. I have never been big on these type of parties, but now more than ever seemed like a good time to let loose and take my mind off other things. Maybe, I promised myself before my brain drifted off, and I slipped into the land of dreams.
I shifted nervously on my foot, staring down at the blue carpet underneath. The constant tapping of his pen against the wood of the desk made me even more nervous, if that was possible. I glanced at the clock on the wall; it was late. I should be getting home. I looked back at him. He was still staring at the paper in front of him.
"So..." His mouth tightened as looked up; his disapproving look was laced with annoyance. I swallowed.
"Is it okay sir?" I asked timidly. He raised an eyebrow. Silence.
"This is rubbish," he snarled suddenly and threw the paper down at my feet. I couldn't move. I worked so hard on it, to win back his favour. I couldn't fail again! I picked up the paper with trembling hands and tucked it back into my bag. I held back my tears and faced him again, knowing that I would be punished.
"Elizabeth," he whispered. I shuddered. He sounded like a predator, toying with his food, knowing full well that it was already within his grasp. I looked up and met his blue eyes again.
"Yes sir?" I whispered back, my voice quivering. He got up from the desk and walked towards me in slow, steady steps. I couldn't help but take a step back with every step he took towards me. The back of my thighs hit something solid; I had reached the edge of my desk. He was still walking towards me, his eyes holding the same burning glare. I closed my eyes, not wanting to see them.
Suddenly, I was thrown back against the desk. I barely had time to breathe before his mouth crashed down onto mine. I kept my eyes closed while his lips ravished me. A small moan escaped from my mouth. I grabbed his shirt and as suddenly as he began, he pulled away.
I gasped, finally able to breathe again and -
sat up in bed. My breath rattled in the silence of my room. I looked around terrified before falling back onto my pillow with a dull thud.
No, my mind groaned over and over.