When I woke up earlier in the day
I never thought I'd be laying here
My face twisted down in dismay
While eyes drown in a sea of tears.
When with these words you hit me
I blinked as if were slapped
It opened my eyes so I could finally see
And, ever suddenly, I snapped.
I felt the dagger piercing my shields
I felt myself hitting the ground
Burying my face into the barren fields
And sobbing with muffled sound.
I didn't want you to see me cry
I didn't want to make you hurt
Instead I got up and made another try
To see how much that I was worth.
You came at me with arms outstretched
Longing to wrap me in an embrace
Yet feeling like a useless wretch
I turned so you couldn't see my face.
My wounded eyes blink away the rain
That was caused at your accidental hand
My heart beats with the stinging pain
That echoes across the entire land...
This isn't the first time I've felt like this
Feeling as if I've been buried alive
It's definitely a pain that I haven't missed
And now my head buzzes like a hive
Full of thoughts of makeshift smiles
Trying to make my countenance bright
Even if it's only for a while...
But I'm so focused on my plight.
You hurt me, my precious treasure.
You hurt me hard and hurt me bad
Taking away my joy and pleasure
And leaving me down and sad.
I lay there and I pretend I'm dead
So that maybe you'll walk away
And when you've left me to my bed
I start to cry; I start to pray
Because I feel it creeping up on me
That wicked drive; fantastic sensation
To take me higher and set me free...
It's the feeling of temptation...
Coming back to take me to hell
Coming back to make me insane
Come back and again make me well!
Come back and rid me of disdain!
I rise from my bed on unsteady feet
And I crawl my way downstairs
Groveling my way into defeat
Because I know that you're not there...
I try to think back on the past thirty
But for the time cannot make myself take note
Just longing to once more get dirty
On the wicked intoxication of which I dote
I've fallen headlong into quicksand
Digging through the shelves whilst I'm sinking
Body screaming words that I can't understand
While here I am no longer thinking
About the praise that I've received
Or all the work that has been done
Because all I need is a lie to deceive
You; and then I'll only take but one.
I twist the cap and smile with body shaking
But instead of one, a handful comes out instead.
I throw them down my throat, it's no mistaking
That in no time soon I'll be back in bed
Spinning while laying completely still
And tripping on things that do not exist
Laughing while breaking these childproof seals
Popping like candy these pills within my fist
Until finally my vision turns to black
Until not a solitary sound do I hear
Because I've passed out and fallen back
Before I could cry any more tears.
I've gone under and now I'm going to drown
Because I'm hiding from the sensation
That you gave me when you threw me 'round
And spiraled me into temptation.