What If...


I often find myself reaching for you
As I'm waking from my dreams,
But I always end up losing sight of your face
As unconsciousness starts to recede.

I often find myself listening for you
As I'm wandering blindly through my days,
But all I can ever catch are echoes
Before the wind carries your words far away.

Sometimes, I catch myself staring, intently,
At the pictures of you up on my wall,
But even then, it's just like I'm seeing you
Without really ever seeing you at all...

Some days I worry that I'll forget you:
How you touch, how you taste, how you make me feel...
Some days I worry that I'll forget why
I ever thought that these feelings were real.

All I have of you now are reflections,
Just Dreams, Pictures and Echoes, to hold on to.
So what if, in these things, I start losing faith,
And my heart no longer beats true for just you?

What if, one night, as I'm dreaming,
I realize I've lost sight of your face?
What if beckoning consciousness tries to steal you away,
And I no longer feel like giving chase?

What if I forget the sweet song in your voice
Because the wind cries bitter through the air?
And what if all the echoes fade from my heart,
Leaving only ringing silence resting there?

What if those pictures on my wall fall and shatter,
My quaking heart having them so up-heaved
That they lie on the floor in a pile of broken glass,
And your silhouette I can't retrieve?

What if I love you so much that it hurts,
But not enough to keep wanting to cry?

(Would you believe me?)

What if I told you I can't stand to forget you,
So I'd rather just tell you "goodbye."

(And forego losing you anyway.)


L. Sherman