The truth.

"It toke me three years to realise that I don't really like or trust my friends. That's not a good thing. Your friends should be the ones that you talk to about everything, not the ones that you wish you didn't have to meet every single day. You shouldn't count down the days until you get out of school, 'til you don't have to see them again.

Four specific years of my school time sucked. Not one of those years did I really feel good.
First year I was an outcast. I didn't like the girls I hung out with and they left me out on loads of stuff. They could be really cold towards me. At times I just wanted to cry. It sucked to be the one who always got left out and always had to say the answers to questions in class. The smart one. I felt like shit most of that year. My salvation was a guy that would just let me hang out with him and his friends. he was a lot of fun and he could always make me smile and laugh, no matter what mood I was in. Without him... Who knows what would've happened to me.

Second year. Most of that year I was fine but then, in the middle or something like that, I got into a fight with one of my teachers. What about... I won't tell you. But she made me cry and I was so mad at her. When my dad heard it... He was so furious! He sent emails to all my teachers and... Well a couple of weeks later we had a meeting, my dad, me, the teacher and my "home teacher". I didn't get a real apology but I got something close to one. For the rest of the year that teacher and I acted like bet friends but on the inside I hadn't forgiven her for it.

Third year. It was a lot of fun to start with. I hung out a lot with a guy. He had a crush on me but I didn't think much of it. He knew I didn't like him that way. We hugged a lot and held hands and stuff, but that's just things that i did with a lot of people. After a couple of months people started to tease us. He didn't care but I did. My friends teased me and asked me about me and my "boyfriend" and I just told them i didn't have one and that I didn't like him that way but they wouldn't listen to me. In the end I felt like shit because of it and I told him we should take it easy and not hug too much or hold hands that much. We got into a lot of arguments and in the end he went too far. In the summer between third and fourth year I had this amazing friendship with a guy I met online. He was a really amazing friend and I trusted him more than anyone else. This pissed the first guy off, the fact that I trusted someone I'd never met more than him. I just told him the truth, that the guy online had never been mean to me and we never had any fights.
Anyway he hated my friendship with the other guy.
In June 2010 I lost my best friend. He passed away. Apparently he'd had leukemia, I never knew. This is where the unforgivable thing comes. the guy that liked me... he hated my friend. But when he found out about what happened he lied straight to my face. He hated his guts yet he said that he seemed like a great guy and it was such a shame that he passed. If he'd said 'sorry 'bout your loss...' it would've been a whole different thing. But now... He lied to me about something that I already knew how he felt about. I lost my best friend that summer but I also lost another friend and I wouldn't get either of them back but only one of them was my own choice to get rid of.

Fourth year. Losing my best friend wasn't easy, I couldn't believe it. The only good thing that came out of it was that I met his twin. He's a great guy and much easier to talk to.
But even thought I got a new best friend it wasn't an easy year.
I fell in love with one of my friends and he told me he really liked me too. We hung out a lot and we were really close. We were close to becoming a couple when he suddenly told me that I was a really nice girl and stuff but he didn't have room for a relationship in his life at the moment. That broke my heart. But when I started to get over it a little I got the news that he had a girlfriend, about a week after he said he didn't have room for one. That hurt me even more. I didn't want to believe it but I knew it was true.
And on top of that I had a guy following me around because he had a crush on me. So I had a tail for a while. He wanted more than friendship and it was almost like second year all over again.
So my school years weren't easy but I survived..."

"Why do you think I wrote this text like this?" Annie Bee, the author, asks the English class in front of her. "Why didn't I just it as if it's happening right now? Why am I talking about it? Why did I write it at all?"
A boy in the back row raises his hand.
"Yes? What's your name?" Annie asks.
"My name's Dylan ma'am" the boy answers.
"Hey Dylan" Annie smiles. "What do you think was my purpose with this text?"
"I don't really think there's a purpose with it, I think this was just a way to get this all out of your system. A way to let people know what you've gone through" Dylan says.
"That's actually right on the spot, that's how I reasoned too, but that's not what English professors wants to hear so if you ever get a question like this on a test, make something up." Annie smiles and winks at the class and they all laugh. "But I chose to write this because I needed to get it out of my system and I wanted to be able to help others that might be going through the same thing that I did. I want to believe that I went through all of this for a reason."
A girl in the front row raises her hand.
"Yes?" Annie smiles.
"Hello. My name is Angela. Did you ever forgive the guy who lied about how he felt about your friend?" she asks.
"To tell the truth, I haven't yet. it's been five years since then but I still can't forgive him" Annie says. "But I'm hoping that one day I will be able too. I think we have time for one more question."
A third student raises his hand.
"Yes?" Annie says.
"What happened to the guy that followed you around fourth year?" the guy asks.
"Well that's actually a pretty funny story" Annie smiles. "I almost went crazy because he kept following me around but the days before graduation, we actually got together and we've been a couple ever since then. So now I'm engaged to the guy that made me go nuts when we were at school."
The whole class gives a small chuckle at her words.
"Well I think that was all the time I got for talking and taking questions, I might be able to answer some questions while signing the book if you want it. Thanks for listening to me it's been a big pleasure to come and talk to you." Annie says.
The whole class stands up and applause her.
When she walks off the stage Annie turns to her manager who's come to her side and says: "This is the reason I wrote it, to make young people understand that life might not be terrific all the time, but you shouldn't throw it away because of that. It'll be better in time."
"So you wanted to let the truth out in a way that people understand" her manager answers.
"Yes, I wanted the truth to come out" Annie says.

A/N: Something I wrote because I wanted to get it out of my system I guess. I don't think this is the way it should be but I'll make changes when I know how to change what things.
But until then, what do you think?

// I'll Be Watching