There was a quiet knock on the door at o'dark-thirty at night. My first thought was that I was going to beat the crap out of whoever was at my door. But that was the night where my life started to change.

Ch. 1

Justin was my brother, who I loved with all my heart. He was like a father, considering my father was nowhere to be found and my mother, well my mother was dead. He was a successful bartender, but was never proud of what he did. But it brought in money and that was what we needed. That was really all we needed. Justin was a college student aiming to own his own bar, so he was taking management classes or something like that. I was a senior in high school and Justin finished his last year of college.

My first impression of Ink was not per se a good one considering the first time I had saw him; he'd had my brother, my dear beloved brother, pushed against the wall, his hand down my brother's pants and about to kiss him.

"Oh, Robin. You're home early." Justin innocently smiled at me.

Ink released my brother and pushed past me and started out onto the chilled streets of Boston. And for some strange reason I really wanted to punch both of them.

Ink didn't really look like a "happy" kid. Emo cut black hair, dark blue eyes that seemed to give off a chill of their own. His presence itself was cold. And what was my brother's response to all this?

"I'm gonna go get started on dinner!" and off to the kitchen he went.

And somehow, some may call it a girl's instincts, I knew, just TOATALY knew Ink was in love with my brother.

Justin was a really nice and generous person who would probably give a lung to a hobo so the hobo could sell it for drug money. And he'd probably do it all smiling like crazy. Another thing about Justin: he was the kind of guy who would just completely ignore things like that or come up with stupid excuses like "he tripped and his hand accidently went into my pants and he fell onto me." And to make matters worse he actually believed loads of crap like that! And to clear things up, Justin was straight. I'd seen him bring home a few girls, but never a guy. Never.

I went upstairs to start on the homework I had.

Weeks passed and I was beginning to see more and more of Ink, a classmate of my brother. And I'm pretty sure in those four or five weeks Ink talked to me at least twice, like actual conversation. But it was Monday of that sixth week where I thought my life was turning into a complete hell.

It was Justin's birthday, so after school Ink came over and helped me with party preparations. It was 8:30 when Justin came through the front door of our Boston apartment with a girl on his arm.

"Ink! Robin! I have wonderful news!"

Ink and I glanced at each other and Ink smiled and in his smooth sweet voice he asked, "What is it Justin?"

"Eve and I are getting married!"

I tried my hardest to smile. I really did. And I could see that Ink was trying to as well. For a fragment of a second Ink looked like someone had nailed him right in the gut, then with incredible speed he recovered and smiled again, "Congratulations you two!"

"I-I'll go get some Champaign," and I started out the door.

"You need someone who's over 21," my brother pointed out.

"I'll take him." And grabbed Ink's hand and we started out the door.

We were on the streets outside of the apartment building.

"Why did you drag me into this? I want no part in your little scheme."

"You love my brother, don't you?" I asked boldly.

Ink said nothing and stared toward the sky. Snow was beginning to fall.

"You're really more pissed then me right?" soft tears fell to my cheeks.

"I dunno."

"Yes you do. I'm not a kid! Tell me the truth! What the hell were you doing to my brother when we first met? Huh? You are in love with my brother."

"So what?"

"Why aren't you opposed to their marriage?"

"I am."

"Then why aren't you saying anything? You just got your heart broken."

"So what?"

"'So what?' What do you mean 'so what'?"

"He's my life and he's hers. There's nothing I can do."

"So you're just going to give up!?"

"Why can't you understand this Robin?"

I said nothing for a minute or two. "You- you said my name."

"What of it?"

"You've never said my name before."

I looked at Ink's deep blue eyes through his black hair. He looked back at me. It was like I could see straight into his heart. Like I could feel what he felt. My heart pounded and I felt a warm feeling inside of me. There I was talking to a guy about loving my brother when it was very possible I could love him. But I didn't.

"Say something," I demanded not yet taking my eyes from his.

"Why me?"


"I've got nothing to say."

"Yes you do. Why do love my brother?"

"I can't answer that."

I rested my head against a streetlight so that Ink was staring at my back. His eyes were too much for me, "Too bad. Answer it anyway."

"Why does one human love another? I have yet to be able to find a human who can answer that."

"My brother just blindly broke your heart and you have nothing to say."

"I can't say anything that will change Justin's mind."

"Yes you can! Tell him you love him!" I turned to him.

"I can't."


"Because the feeling isn't mutual. One way; your brother can't return my feelings."

"Why my brother? Any guy will do, right?"

Suddenly Ink grabbed me and pulled me close to him, "Your idea of this world is still so shallow." And I was almost positive I felt his tears creep through my shirt.

I knew this: Ink was gay and in love with my older brother and my brother was getting married to some chick he hardly knew. But I fit nowhere into their equation.

And this is where we are.

It was sometime late night, early morning when I heard a knock on the apartment door. I really wanted to nail whoever was at the door. But I got up and answered it anyway. It was Ink.

"I need to talk to your brother." His eyes were red as if he'd been crying, but I asked no questions and went and got Justin

They sat in the kitchen and talked, and talked and talked some more. I got bored so went to my room and went to bed. And sleep came easily.


When I woke the next morning Ink was in my room shoving all my stuff into suitcases.

"What are you doing!"

"You're brother left," he moved on to my closet, "with his 'wife'. You're coming to stay with me."

"Like hell! What kind of crap did you do to destroy my life?"

Ink stopped and looked at me. Tears clouded his eyes. He blinked and a tear gently fell, "Your brother and I reached an agreement: he leaves forever and I never talk to him ever again."

I knew what he meant. He told my brother he loved him. And now, now my brother was gone, leaving behind his sister, his only family. And Ink was taking me in.

I sat there watching Ink shoving all of my belongings into suitcases. I just sat and watched him for another three minutes then jumped to my feet and started to help Ink pack.