The Messenger of God

by Font Bookfarthing

Long ago, there were two hoominian kingdoms called Sputtle-Fuss and Jarro. And one fine day the king of the mountain, King Nathan Yahoo who lead Jarro, and Queen Miranda-Pie of Sputtle-Fuss were meeting to discuss trade and things. And into the meeting burst a man who hadn't shaved in a while and let his hair go all higgledy-piggledy. Amongst the man's ravings, he claimed to be a profit. He said he was representing the god called The Almighty Prang. And he said that the Almighty Prang said that all the hoominians should be very nice and things like that.

And the two leaders said that this would be all right with them. And so they began being really nice to everyone, from their next door neighbor to sending good vibes to the people who lived on the other side of the planet whom they would never ever meet in a million years.

And later it was shown that the man who represented the Almighty Prang was a simple lunatic who had made up these things. "Oh, spoot!" shouted King Yahoo when he heard this news. And so he told his people to forget about being nice and everything, and that they could do whatever the heck they wanted, and that even killing and stuff was okay now too.

And within a couple weeks, all the people of Jarro had killed each other off.

At the same time, Queen Miranda-Pie also heard that this man was missing a shoe, so to speak, but figured that it was some jolly good advice he had brought to them, and so they might as well live that way, not matter whose idea it was. And so Sputtle-Fuss prospered long after the last of the people of Jarro had passed away.