A Lyrical Self Portrait

Cruel, or absent memories.
All that occupy, my head.
Hated adversaries.
But I don't wish them dead.
Myself a different story...
One I hope you never read.
Regret offers clarity,
I see the life I could have led.

Now yesterday's a dream and tomorrow's a nightmare!
Don't ask about today, because I don't know how I got there!
Nor was I aware, that anyone cares.

Ravaged by the centuries.
I live through each day.
Degenerated by the tragedies.
That always come to play.
Though their games make me so empty.
And I wish they'd go away!
Without them I'd feel lonely,
I've never known another way.

I painted you a picture with the only art that I know!
Sketched with words, I could have one day shown!
But it was stolen away...
That was the day, that I let all false hope go.

May you not be a thing like me.
Let there be life in your eyes.
If joy fills you, hold it tightly.
And never wish you'd died.
Turn from this thing, unsightly.
This fading shadow, known as I.
No words could depict me nicely.
Other than blatant lies.
May you never know what it's like!

To be one quarter rage and another, sorrow!
And have that be all there is, because the rest of you's hollow.
To have that which once filled that space...
Be long decayed, killed by the lies you swallowed.
To have your passions ripped away, and have everything else follow!

So don't hate me!
Forget me!
I'm sure it will be easy!
And lastly!
Save your apology!
I haven't felt in years, don't worry!
I've always said I'd rather be, slaughtered than a slave.
And as long as this worlds air I breathe, imprisoned I'll remain.
I'm not, crazy.
Just tired, and ready.
To escape.