Deprived of sleep, I think my spine is about to fall out, or tear me apart inside out.
December 16th, 2010
I would put my faith in the monster that is gravity,
Take it that he's a gallant gentleman,
Ready to steer me the right way,
When I feel the sinking of a shark's bite,
It's deep in my skin,
Sucking blood out, vial after vial.
And he'll lower me down gently, because that's only polite,
And I wouldn't have to worry anymore,
About the broken pieces of glass on sidewalk streets,
Or the fuzzy reflections in flickering mirrors.
He would whisper in my ear,
Completely sensible words,
That no one could comprehend.
I would reach out, and feel the wind between my fingers,
Like it's the softest fur I've ever felt,
Let it disappear, already miles behind me.
The night would sing to me,
A simple lullaby,
One I already know,
Or at least think I do.
Then he'd warn me, the end is near,
And I would smile, open my mouth to speak,
And then the ground meets me,
Faster than I'd ever imagined before,
As the city skyscrapers turn to ocean waves,
I'd gasp before I hit the water,
Sinking into unimaginable depths and darkness.
I'd swing my arms rapidly,
Already knowing what lies beneath.
It would chase after me,
That unseen monster,
The harbinger of inexplicable fear.
The suffocator himself,
Ready to steal the air out of my asphyxiated body.
Then, clawing at the sea.
The endless fight against a winner,
The loss of consciousness,
When you had none to start with.
And this time you die for real,
Hearing all but a gasp loud and clear,
And the rustle of newly washed sheets,
You meet darkness, and that slow sinking feeling of unconscious,
Because after all,
This is only a dream.