Star Crossed Lovers

They had started off on the wrong foot. They had met for the first time, when they were young, and clashed. They did not know that things could have been so much better if they just realized and acknowledged some truths. They could've avoided the fights, the harsh words, the heartache, and the hurt. They could have… but now it's too late.

Living next to a person you hate is always hard. You have to see them every day and it's almost impossible to avoid them, even more so if your moms are friends. And that's how we were, me and Michael Roberts.

Our moms had known each other since elementary school. They had always been the best of friends. They even moved into houses with their husbands that were side by side. So imagine their joy when they realized that they were going to have their babies at the same time. Those babies were us. We were born barely weeks apart. He was born on the 6th of November and I on the 21st. So we were together almost from day one. And we weren't apart, at least not when we were young.

Up until middle school, I couldn't get a break. It's like he was always there whenever I turned around. At the same school, in the same grade, in the same class for years. Every holiday we had to celebrate with them. At every one of my birthday parties he was there; I didn't even get a choice in inviting him. And I always had to get him a present for his birthday and Christmas. It was too much. I don't know what our moms could've been thinking. How in the world could we like each other if we were forced to spend almost every moment together?

May 18th, 2002

Michael is so annoying! I am so relieved that I'm leaving for college and he won't be there. It'll be GREAT to FINALLY be able to live my life by myself, WITHOUT him be there every time I turn around.

June 1st, 2002

Annabelle hates me. But it's not her fault. I would hate me too if I never had a choice in seeing me or in being friends with me. We've been pushed together since birth. She doesn't like that. I reason with myself that she doesn't exactly hate me. She only hates that she didn't get a choice. Yes, thinking of it that way makes me heart hurt less.

I love her. I love Annabelle. I believe I have loved her ever since I first set eyes on her. She's so beautiful; inside and out. She's kind to everyone except horrible people and me.

I am so lucky to have had all this time with her. Eighteen years of almost perfect bliss; of seeing her almost every day of my life. I've been at each of her birthday parties, celebrating her life, and she's been to mine. I got to spend every holiday with her. I would spend weeks trying to find the perfect gift. She always got me a gift, too.

Her mother is going to have to get her a gift for me from now on. I'm not going to be able to give them to her anymore. I'm going overseas. I signed up for the army.

June 3rd, 2002

Today I found out that Michael is going to Iraq. He's going to be fighting in the war. He's not going to be around anymore. I'm not sure how I feel about that. What if something happens to him?

June 10th, 2002

I'm leaving today. All my bags are packed. It's time to say goodbye to everybody. Mom calls me outside for something. The whole neighborhood is in my yard to say goodbye. I, aimlessly, drift through seas of well-wishers then suddenly the crowd's part and I see her. Annabelle is here. We stare into each other's eyes then she turns and vanishes into the crowd. I guess she doesn't care enough to say goodbye.

August 21st, 2002

I miss him so much. I can't believe that I didn't think I'd ever miss him. But I do! Oh how I do! I took him for granted; I never appreciated him. Now it's like a part of me is missing. Why didn't I realize that I need him? It wasn't his fault he was always there. Mom and his mom were just pushing us together, trying to get us to be the best of friends like them. She told me today that she got a letter from him with money in it for my birthday and Christmas presents. When did he become so thoughtful? Did I miss it or was he always this way? I don't know.

November 6th, 2002

It's his birthday today. I went over to his mother's house. She hasn't gotten a letter from him in months. She tried to hide it but I could tell she was worried. I'm afraid something has happened.

November 23rd, 2002

Mom gave me the present he asked her to buy for my birthday. It was a diamond necklace. I'm so scared. I'm so angry at myself. It was so childish to hate him for something that wasn't his fault. What if… no I can't think like that. He'll come back and then I can talk to him and everything will turn out alright. It will.

January 11th, 2003- Three days after the funeral of Michael B. Roberts.

They sent him back in a coffin with a flag. They sent him back to us with a letter that a man in a suit handed to us. I never got the chance to tell him. I never got to apologize. It rained when we buried him. It's still raining. The sky is crying the tears I can't let fall. I hate myself. I hate myself for all the things I did to him. All the mean words and malicious thoughts and gestures. I was so blinded by trying not to do what mom thought I should I didn't realize what a wonderful thing I was throwing away. I threw away my chance at happiness. I threw away my love, my soul mate. I could've had so much. I could've had him.

His mother gave me his journal. He wrote that he loved me every day. He said that it wasn't my fault I was so horrible to him. He made excuses for me; he forgave me! He saw our potential. He was willing to wait for me to realize. But I was too late. It's too late.