Figure since I'm so far gone, oceans away, I can lay my sabre down today.
I miss the words I love the words, you did not say.
I miss the kiss you never
There goes the sun, oceans away
And days die young when you're gone and you're gone
There goes the sun, oceans away
And leaves the day for someone else
Oceans – The Fray
The beeping of the machine was not letting me fall asleep and that was a good thing. I didn't want to close my eyes. I was afraid my mom will disappear forever if I closed my eyes. I stared at her lying in the hospital bed, her chest barely rose and fell. The only sign to show that she was breathing was the heart monitor's beeping. I would look at it every so often to make sure that she was still breathing. I was sitting in my father's lap, when mom opened her eyes and asked me to come closer. Her lips were chapped and her thick black hairs were almost gone because of the chemo she got. I leaned closer to her so I could hear what she was trying to tell me.
"Be happy, Anya. Don't let anything get you down. Stay with your father, he needs you as much as you need him. I will always be there for you and if I can't be, I promise to send an angel for my baby girl," Mom whispered in my ear. I turned to look to into her blue eyes and nodded my head, tears falling down my face in an endless river. Mom closed her eyes and the beeping of the machine stopped.
"DAD!" I sat up, breathing hard and looked around me. I was sleeping on a wooden bench and realized that I was in a church. Everything was blurry because of my tears. I looked up to see my dad walking towards me and picked me up and wrapped his arms around me. He rubbed soothing circles on my back and I calmed down a little. I still had my dad.
"We have to go outside now, Anya. Are you ready?" Dad whispered to me. I shook my head, no. I wasn't ready yet to bury my mother. Dad sat me down on his lap.
"Listen to me, Anya. No matter what happens I am always here for you and your mother is as well. She is here somewhere watching over us and she will want us to happy. I know it will be hard at first but we have to fulfill her wishes," he said to me. I nodded my head slowly. He put me down on my feet and stood up. Grabbing my hand he walked us out of the church and into the cemetery. Everyone we knew was there and they were looking at me with pity in their eyes and I remembered my mother's words. Never let anything get you down. I took a deep breath and tried to blink the tears out of my eyes.
My father stopped walking and I looked at him, he was looking down. I followed his gaze to the open casket where my mother lay; they hadn't closed the casket for some reason. I blinked and reached my hand to touch her but someone grabbed me from behind.
"Let me go!" I screamed. Whoever it was had a strong hold of me because I couldn't even budge.
"I want to go to my mother!" I screamed, kicking the stranger.
"Shh… she's here with you. I promise; whenever you need her she will come and if she can't she will send an angel. But for now, you have to stay with your father; he needs you as much as you need him," the stranger whispered in my ear; it was the same thing my mother had said before she died. The stranger's voice was like a velvet caress and I stopped crying and screaming. We were far away from everyone and the stranger let go of me. How was it possible that no one had seen this stranger take me? I turned around to look for whoever it was, but there was no one there. It had started to rain and I shivered uncontrollably.
"Anya!" I turned around to see my dad running towards me. He picked me up and hugged me to him.
"Don't ever do that again," Dad whispered into my hair. I nodded my head; I wasn't going to leave my father. We walked to where they were burying my mom; the casket was closed now. I watched silently as they lowered her into the ground. I closed my eyes and let the rain mix with my tears. I felt my father's forehead against mine and opened my eyes.
"Let's go home, Anya," he whispered. I nodded, unable to speak. I looked down to where my mom was buried now.
"Goodbye, mom; I promise to visit soon," I whispered. Dad kissed my forehead and I lay my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes.
I was a little girl when my mom died and five years later my father remarried. Although, my step-mother has not turned me into Cinderella, I wish for something to happen that will change my life forever. My life is full of darkness; I need someone to lend me their light.