Halfway around the world
Lies the one thing that you want
Buried in the ground, hundreds of miles down
First thing that arises in your mind while you awake
Is bending you till you break
Let me hold you now
Baby close your eyes
Don't open till the morning light
Baby don't forget
You haven't lost it all yet
Don't know what your made of
Till the one thing that you want
To come in with the dawn and suddenly changes
Monday, syndicate meets everyone the same
But all we've lost to the flame
Listen to me now
Syndicate - The Fray
I woke up to the sound of pots and pans banging in the kitchen. I lifted my head up and winced in pain; my neck was hurting. Looking at the clock I realized that it was almost time for dinner and I had been asleep for almost the entire day. You know that moment of clarity when you wake up and the veil lifts and all the fogginess is gone and everything is clear, I was in that moment right then. I was aware of the pots and pans banging and my own breathing and then the clarity went away and everything came rushing back; this morning, and last night, last night William had seemed so warm and this morning when he seemed so cold. I realized that whatever happened might have been my mistake but the sting of rejection was not going away. He could have let me down easy. I wrapped the cashmere throw around my shoulders and walked to the kitchen where I was sure Meredith was making dinner.
"Meredith," I called and rounded the corner to the kitchen. Meredith wasn't there but dad was.
"Look who's up," Dad said turning around to look at me. I sat down at the counter.
"Where's Meredith?" I asked yawning.
"Manhattan, her mother isn't feeling well. Meredith got a call from her when she dropped you off and she left right away," Dad said. I nodded and pushed my hair out of my eyes. Dad was looking at me so I raised my eyebrows at him.
"That was a very reckless thing you did, coming home without letting me know, when the school called I was worried sick," Dad said. I took his hand.
"I know, I'm sorry, I thought Mere would be here," I said. Dad nodded and went back to dicing the onions. It looked like he was making pasta. The smell of it was making my stomach growl.
"How did you get home anyway?" Dad asked. I didn't want to tell him that part. Obviously dad didn't know William but his reaction last night said that he might. Anyway, I didn't want to give him any reason to hate William but he had asked a question and I tried to never lie to him.
"William brought me home," I said. Dad stopped cutting the vegetables and placed the knife on the counter. I was scratching my nail polish but I looked up when he did that.
"I realize that you are a teenager now and your mother or Meredith would have been better at this talk," Dad said and took a deep breath.
"Okay, dad if you think that whatever it is will be an awkward conversation than by all means stop talking," I said. I didn't want my father to be giving me the talk.
"No, it's not awkward, at least I hope not. It's just that I am concerned, you don't open up to people easily, you are like your mother that way and you are letting this William into your life so easily. I mean it's a good thing that you are making new friends but be careful of how much time you spend with William. And as I am saying this I realize that you are an adult now and you will do whatever you want but it is my responsibility as your father to protect you," Dad said. I thought about what he said, about staying away from William and it sounded like a good idea. I don't think he wanted to spend any more time with me anyway if what happened this morning was any indication. It's going to be hard to quench my curiosity but not impossible.
"No, you're right I should stay away from him, spend more time Macy," I said. Dad looked surprised but nodded.
"Alright well that's great, also Macy called when you were asleep," Dad said. I grabbed the kitchen phone and got out of my chair.
"Okay, I'm going to call her and then take a shower," I said.
"Dinner will be ready by then," Dad said. I walked out of the kitchen and dialled Macy's number on the phone. It rang three times before Macy picked up the phone.
"Hello," Macy said in her chirpy voice.
"Hey, it's me," I said. Ever since we were little kids and we called each other's homes we never said our names, just 'it's me', like some old married couple.
"Oh, I feel like such on idiot for sending you home with William when I should have been the one to take you, I am your best friend," Macy said jumping straight to the topic. I opened the door to my room and throwing the throw on the bed, I walked to the washroom.
"It's okay, I'm not mad," I said. I turned on the shower and waited for it to heat up.
"So, how are you feeling?" Macy asked.
"Better, certainly don't feel like someone is trying to crack my head open anymore," I said. I sat down at the edge of the bathtub and took a deep breath.
"Oh, you poor baby," Macy said. I laughed at that.
"Did William say anything when he got back to school after dropping me off?" I asked.
"No, sweetie he didn't even come back, I thought he was with you. In fact I was about to ask you if something happened," Macy said.
"He left after he dropped me off," I said.
"Does that mean nothing happened?" Macy asked. Her voice sounded hopeless.
"Macy, my showers running, I'll call you later tonight," I said.
"Okay but you're avoiding my question which means that something happened," Macy said and hung up. I hung up the phone and stared at it. I didn't know what happened was for the good or the bad but it did happened and I will have to tell Macy sooner or later. I put away the phone and took off my clothes. Whatever I wanted to do could wait until I had taken a shower and had the delicious pasta that dad was making. I stopped thinking about everything and let the floral scent of my shampoo surround me but soon I was hungry, so I turned off the water and wrapped a towel around my cold body. I quickly found a pair of pyjamas to wear and towel dried my wet hair. Before I went downstairs I grabbed the kitchen phone from my bathroom.
The doorbell rang just as I was opening the door to my room. I wondered who it could be, I knew Meredith wouldn't be back so soon and I had just talked to Macy. I heard the door open and the sound of a polite but short conversation, and then dad called me.
"Anya, there's someone here to see you," Dad called up the stairs. I didn't want to see anyone but Dad had already called me so I went downstairs. I walked to the front door and saw William standing there, looking handsomer than ever in a black coat. Well that was just a stab to the heart. I shivered in the cold wind coming from the open door.
"Well, I will leave you two alone, I have pasta burning on the stove," Dad said. He glanced at me and then walked away towards the kitchen.
"Come in," I said to William. When he was inside I closed the door behind him and took a deep breath before turning to face him.
"How do you feel?" William asked. His voice was soft but it still seemed loud to my ears.
"Honestly, I've had better days but today definitely isn't one of my worst days either," I said.
"I just wanted to stop by and see how you were doing," William said. To me it sounded more like I just stopped by to rub the fact that I rejected you in your face. I knew William wasn't a bad guy and that he was concerned for me but making him the bad guy made me feel better and I wanted to feel better. Otherwise I just felt like crap because in a matter of a day William had made me feel like his friend and also that I wasn't good enough for him.
"You could have just called, didn't need to bother coming down here," I said and walked around him into the living room.
"I wanted to see you in person," William said following after me. His eyes seemed greener than blue now, and not just the regular green but the kind of green you only see in summer; the bright, burning green. And its things like what he just said made me feel like there's something more but then he pushes me away from him.
"Why?" I asked because I was honestly curious.
"I wanted to apologize," William said. I gave a bitter laugh.
"You know you wouldn't have to do that often if you just stopped making mistakes," I said.
"I can't stop making mistake, I'm only human," William said. His eyes burned with intensity, like he was trying to make me believe that he was only human. I had no doubts if that's what he thought. I mean he was inhumanly good looking but that's it, oh and cruelty of course.
"Well so am I but I know where to draw the line, I know when to stop doing whatever it is that I am doing when I know it's going to end up hurting someone," I said.
"Oh god, I hurt you I'm so sorry," William said. Oh nobody is that oblivious.
"Just go William, please. You wanted me to stay away from you, well congratulation you got your wish, I'm not going to bother you again," I said. I looked away from him, mostly to hide my tears. That's the second time today this boy had me cry over him. From my peripheral view I saw William turn around and walk out of the living room and then I heard the front door close. I wiped my tears and got up to go into the kitchen. Dad was standing by the counter grating cheese.
"How much of that did you hear?" I asked.
"Well you asked him to come in...," Dad said looking up from the cheese.
"So all of it, great. I don't want to talk about anything, all I want is to move to a galaxy far far away," I said.
"The daughter I raised would never run away from anything," Dad said.
"Well the daughter you raised would never have put herself in a position where running away was the only option, in this case the less embarrassing one," I said.
"Anya, you never have to talk to William again, if that's what you want," Dad said. I grabbed a plate and put pasta on it, and then I added the cheese that dad had grated.
"Yeah well, he's my project partner so I will have to talk to him again, and if he goes looking for a different partner than he's weak, he needs to feel my fury, he needs to feel the heat of my hate," I said waving my fork.
"Heat of your hate, that's very good," Dad said. I stared at him with raised eyebrows and he smiled. I ate my pasta in silence, except of the usual sighs which were annoying dad. He kept looking at me every minute.
"Alright, what is it?" Dad asked.
"What is what?" I asked.
"Why are you sighing?" dad asked.
"No reason, it's okay," I said. We continued to eat in silence and I stopped with the sighs. I knew that dad didn't really want to know what I was really thinking, especially if it involved William. After dinner I put my plate in the sink and kissed dad good night. I went upstairs to my room and jumped onto the bed, pulling the comforter over me. I picked up the phone and called Macy, and this time she picked up the phone on the first ring.
"Tell me," Macy said.
"Tell you what?" I asked, getting comfy on my bed. I picked up the remote and turned on the TV in my room.
"What happened between you and Will," Macy said.
"Nothing," I said changing the channel and turning down the volume.
"Elena, you have to tell me, I'm your best friend," Macy said.
"Macy I did just tell you, nothing happened," I said. It was quiet on the other side of the line, so I thought that she didn't hear me.
"Is that why you are upset?" Macy asked.
"I'm not upset, but I would have liked things to be different. Now I can never speak with William again," I said.
"If it makes you feel better I don't think Jesse and I can ever have a relationship," Macy said.
"Why not?" I asked.
"He doesn't talk much, and I can't have a relationship with someone who doesn't talk," Macy said.
"Someday I wish to have the same relationship like my parents. They loved each other so much and I know that my dad still loves my mom but he also loves Meredith," I said.
"Well I don't want anything like my parents relationship," Macy said bitterly. Macy's dad had walked out on her sisters and mom and brother when she was 6 and her sister were 8 and 10 and her brother was 7. Now it was just Macy, her mom and brother in her house because her sisters were away at school. Her brother went to a local college so he still lived at home.
"You know, sometimes I still feel my mom's presence with me," I whispered.
"Oh, sweetie I know you miss your mom," Macy said.
"It's not all the time, but sometimes I just wish that she was here. Even Meredith's in Manhattan, she's visiting her mom," I said.
"I'm still here and so is your dad," Macy said.
"You're right," I said.
"Well, I'll talk to you tomorrow, my mom's coming," Macy said.
"Okay, good night," I said and hung up the phone. I put the phone back where it belonged and turned off the TV, but I didn't go to sleep. I couldn't sleep. I just kept thinking about William. How could anyone be so oblivious? He had no right to come in here and ask for forgiveness. I won't be fooled again by his charm. I fell asleep thinking about William.
The next morning I woke up before the alarm went off; I was feeling well rested and wide awake. I realized that I was up way before my normal time, so I pulled on my bathrobe and walked to the library. The library was on the third floor and took up almost the entire floor but there was just enough space for Dad's home office. I opened the door to the library and breathed in the scent of old books.
I walked to the very back of the library where my mother's books were. My mom loved to read and she spent most of her time here in the library, so her presence was stronger here than in any other room of the house. I could still smell her perfume and I could imagine her sitting by the window seat reading a book. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Opening my eyes, I started to read the spines of the many books my mom must have read. They were all about the supernatural like I had told William and I didn't believe in the supernatural. My mother had a lot of books about the supernatural, so she clearly believed in it.
I walked over to the next aisle and something there caught my eye. It was a red leather bound book, but it wasn't the only there. There were dozens of books like that one placed next to each other and they covered the entire wall. It would have been a series but there were too many books. I pulled the first one off the shelf and opened it to the first page. The inside was covered in a beautiful elegant script and it was hand written.
Friday September 5, 1991
He was here again and I think they know about Elena. Richard says that he will talk to them. We have to protect Elena from them; keep her a secret. Richard says that I should go home to my parents while he talks to them. Elena and I will be safe there but I should ask Richard to come with us. I fear that everyone might know about Elena by now. I don't know if he kept his promise or not, I know that I can't trust anyone with the safety of my Elena.
I stopped reading and went back to the very first page. The first page was blank except for Anya Montgomery written in the same beautiful script like the first page. Dear god, this was my mother's journal. They were all my mother's journal. The first entry was dated September 5, so my mom would have been two months pregnant with me. But the question remained, how did she know she was having a girl? I don't much about pregnancy but I think you can't tell the gender of your child in the first trimester. And dad said that they hadn't decided my name until after I was born. And who was this person who was here and who are they? Why do I need to be protected from them? Only one person can answer all these questions. I closed the journal and gently placed it back where I found it, I will be back later.
"Dad," I yelled, running down the stairs. I didn't care that he was asleep, I wanted answers and I wanted them right now.
AN: Oh, I hope that everyone enjoyed reading this chapter. Don't forget to reviews. I will try to update soon. XOXO.