The Basics of Romantic Stories

Okay, I'm not a fan of romance, but I've been dragged to many, and unfortunately, accidentally started reading some on F.P. in the past. I think i know the basic gist of them -even though all of them are equally crap-So here goes, the basics of any love story known to mankind.


I saw him; he was mysterious, strange, yet extremely hunky. I couldn't stop talking about him in my dialogue to myself, but it was mainly about how he looked, and how he looked at me. I talk to myself like this because clearly I have no life, and I'm lonely, so I talk to myself. Don't judge me.

At this moment in time, I don't know whether I love this boy or hate him, but it's most likely to be love considering this is a romance film.


He talked to me, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I denied it through most of the first half of the story, and when talking to my 'friends', but I instantly loved him, like the little slut I am. I kept on looking at him, but then turning away when he looked at me. I still don't fancy him –denial yet again- but I still keep talking about him in my head and having images of me and him kissing, getting married and having babies. I'm so confused even though I know what's happening!


I manage to make a casual conversation with him, and he asks me to do something with him, either that or I asked him to do something with me. I can't remember what happened now since I'm flooded with love which is most likely more a drug and something that's bad for me. Oh well, I don't bother with doing any real work, don't give a fuck if I did have any plans, and go out with this boy, most likely named something hot like Zack, or something exotic and rare like Lorenzo. He took me somewhere romantic –a picnic on the beach, a restaurant, the park - and then we made out in front of everyone, because we don't give a shit about people around us. And then he takes me home, I close the door on him, and lay in my bed thinking about him. Oh he's so dreamy, but will it go any further than this. Hmm, oh that is a mystery. (by now, the reader/viewer is rolling it's eyes, and most would stop watching/reading/listening)


I saw him the next day and then he slapped my arse, feeling like he owned me, but I didn't care, as long as I was getting some loving. But I bloody well bitched about him in my head which strangely people managed to hear who were watching me. I suddenly forget about all my 'friends' and hardly talk to them as much, and hang around with my new B.F. Now that I have a B.F. I obviously don't need my friends!


I take him home to my parents, and obviously I get embarrassed in some way, shape or form, from baby photo's, to family stories. He laughs at me, and I get embarrassed, have a tantrum, tell my B.F. to go home, and then sulk in my room, saying I will never forgive my parents and I hate them!


I go meet his parents and realise he has some major embarrassing stories, so therefore, I'm automatically extremely happy, so everything is okay again, and I'm in love with him again. Aww, happy days 3


I suddenly find out some major secret –either he's ex girlfriend who he still really likes has come back to town, he's secretly a werewolf/vampire/alien, or he has some mental problems-that will disrupt my life in some way, oh no! But because in some really creepy and psychotic way, I say I love him and I still won't leave him, everything is okay. (By the way, these romantic stories are meant to be based on a normal person's life. And it is, because I just said hi to my friend who is a vampire just last week. -_-)


Something majorly interesting –apparently- happens that I should have noticed before but because I'm such a dunce I only just noticed now –he has a mental breakdown, I see him snogging his ex, or he tried to kill me in some way with his abnormal feature when he didn't mean to- So now I'm really pissed off, and I storm out, tell him I never want to see him again, and I say I will leave his life forever, because I want to be extremely melodramatic. But I am so pissed off that I'm going to do something really big!! Isn't it great to be the leading bitch in one of these stories? Yes, yes it is.


He suddenly appears out of nowhere and stops me/saves me from making the biggest mistake of my life (moving to a different country, rescuing me from an evil fantasised creature, getting a new boy friend) and then he says all he wants to do is be my boyfriend again. I say okay, get back together with him, and then everything is okay again! Horary! Get out the marching band, set up the room, because we're going to have a party about this, because it's so fantastic, amazing, and so big that everyone around us starts cheering clapping, and if it's really cheesy then we have some stupid dance/singing/karaoke moment.


We have a final scene -and depending what age we are- we get together more dramatically, and have a romantic scene at somewhere amazing ( a kiss at prom, a wedding, sitting under the stars with a bottle of champagne and we make out, we're in the future and I'm holding a baby, smiling at him.) And then we look happy, and then we live happily ever after even though our lives haven't finished yet and we could simply break up in the future and have to go through divorce papers, awkwardness, etc, etc.


Written, and thought of by –The-One-Who-Needs-A-Life-
now join with me, as I admit that all romantic films are utterly crap, and for the people who need a partner, and dreaming about getting one. The only problem is now –because of twilight- teens want a partner that's either a vampire or a werewolf. Now we can see who will be single forever.... R&R and thanks for reading ^_^