Hey, its my first story on here...inspired by real life but i did change it around a but. Hope you enjoy it!


5th January 2011

It's strange how one moment you're here and the next we barely talk. I remember a time when I counted on you with so much, when I was the single most important to you and you to me. When I look back at our conversations, our texts, our e-mails, our phone calls, I've realised that it was me who pushed you away. I was the one playing with your trust within me, I raised doubts and teased and in the end I went too far, I should've told you how much you mean to me. You still mean the world to me, why else would you be occupying my thoughts every night?

I remember when you sent me an e-mail;

Fill this out about me!!! **BUT FIRST** Send a blank copy to all of your friends (including me) so they can fill it out about you! Got it? BE HONEST! **YES or NO** or anything just be HONEST!!

I don't know if you were being honest, but as I read through every answer I blushed like I was 12. You said I was beautiful, as close to perfect as anyone can get and you said that you would never forget me. It was one of the happiest moments in my life. I don't remember asking you about it, I guess I didn't want to jinx it.

Then, you got a girlfriend, my best friend. I was happy for you but I couldn't stop myself from thinking did you ever have any feelings for me? Did I for you? Us as a couple? I knew that we would be argue about the silliest things, you often tell me that yourself. I think its because I'm a control freak and you're fun loving and care-free, I guess we just clash but in the most amazing way possible.

I know I'll never find another person like you, one that I talk to for hours on end, one that I feel completely myself around, my best 'girl' friends had nothing on you. They didn't listen in the same way you did. I know you put a lot of effort into our friendship and I know that I didn't appreciate it as much as I should've.

In the end I lost the one person I counted on to raise my spirits every day and I regret it. So much.

I slam my note book shut. It's what I always do, as soon as I'm done pouring my feelings out into an old ratty notebook, I ignore it, I don't want to look at how desperate and dependent I am on one person. I always thought I was confident and my own person but then I realised that it was only because I knew I could count on you to be there if I lost everyone else...

"Jess! I need you to help me get ready for the…." Her voice drifts off as she looks at me questioningly.

"What?" I say my heart hammering inside my lungs as seconds before I shoved my notebook under my mattress and as a result ended up look startled and out of breath.

"I need your help getting ready for my formal, remember? You said you'd help me? By the way, what were you just doing?"

My sister, Kate, is casually leaning against the door frame with the same look on her face, suspicion.

"Oh, what? Nothing just about to do my home work. So, straight or curly?" I say referring to her hair and trying to change the subject at the same time.

I shoo her down the hall and into her room where I immediately notice the mess she has created in a frenzy of panic. "Jeez, you'd think someone had let a wild pair of rabid dogs loose!"

She laughs lamely at the expression I use on just about everything, something that is on the verge of sending everyone in my family off the edge. "Come on, we only have two hours before Josh gets here!"

Her face reddens just at the thought of him and I laugh as I remember how I used to blush that easily. Kate jokingly glares at me while I start pinning her hair up into an elegant updo.

*

A good 2 and a half hours later she's ready and looking stunning. Although I do feel a small amount of sympathy towards Josh, seeing that he did go through half an hour of awkward conversation between him and our mom.

The usual fuss was made, the photos, everyone complimenting Kate and Josh and how cute they looked together. I smiled and looked on from the sidelines, tonight is her special night and I won't take her spotlight.

I am the assigned chauffer for the night and not bothering to change out my shorts and cheesy Australian tourist T-shirts, I grab my keys and lead the way. The drive there is short, which I am quite thankful for seeing as watching Kate and Josh was kind of sickening, pet names and over the top compliments all the signs of the fresh start of a new relationship.

It was strange seeing the school just after sunset, the groups of students buzzing around like I was used to were gone, it was weird. Kind of lonely and eerie. I get out of the car and notice the looks that I was getting from Josh and Kate.

"What are you doing?" Kate says, obviously a bit embarrassed. I got a strange feeling that she didn't know I was meant to see her into the actual formal so she didn't go off and do something "stupid"

"Mum told me to make sure you were inside before I left…But I guess I don't have to…" Trailing off, deciding that maybe it was best to let her have this one.

"Ok, Thanks!" And with that and her arm in Josh's, the walk into the direction of the school.

"Have fun!" I yell lamely at their backs. I turn to my car, ready to get in when a hand lands on my shoulders. I whirl around ready to tell this person how weird it is to creep up to some one in a near empty school when a voice I know so well goes;

"Jess. Hey. Haven't seen you in awhile." I can feel my face going red at the thought of what I wrote about this guy just hours before.

"Oh. Hey. Trent. Fancy seeing you here…." .Dumb. I am mentally slapping myself.

"Well, not really, my step brother goes here. And so does your sister. You can't have forgotten that" he smiles weakly at me.

"No, of course I haven't. I was just…joking. No worries."

"Nice T-shirt by the way" Getting rid the awkwardness with his famous 1000 watt grin.

"Thanks. Got it in Australia. Yep right there." Ok, awkwardness back. Calm down. This guy used to be your best friend, why are you so nervous? Just calm down.

"Hey, you wanna go get something to eat? You know? Instead of going home waiting for our siblings?" I try and read his face, to see if he's nervous.

And he is. His fingers are fidgeting, he's scuffing the tip of his shoe against the concrete, all signs of classic Trent nervousness. This makes me feel much better, knowing that it's not just nerve racking for me.

"Unless you have plans, of course. But you are wearing that T-shirt which is hideo-" He cuts himself off, a few seconds to late though.

"What about my shirt? Are you trying to say it's the most beautiful thing you've ever seen?" I say jokingly.

"Yeah…Sure. So, you hungry?"

"Absolutely" When were in his car, the familiar scent of him comes rushing back. Slightly comforting, yet unsettling.

*

"Can I get two waters and two of the special, please?" He asks the waitress, while flashing a smile at me, remembering that every time we came here, we always had the special. No matter what it was. It was a nice feeling, knowing that he thinks about the good time we had together as well. It was a nice feeling.

"Sure, your food will be right out." The waitress smiled and left.

"So, How have you been?" My attempt to start a conversation.

"Good. My mom got married."

"To Geoff?" Remembering the only time I ever met Geoff was at a family barbeque, currently dating Trents' mom. Now, married.

"Yeah, the one and only." Neither of us minded him. He didn't try to win over Trent, which I have to say, gained him a lot of respect. "So how about you?"

"Um, Nothing much really. Just the usual." I thought about telling him about my dad. But decided against it. A year has passed and to be honest, I am not that bothered by it anymore.

"Hey, um, I heard about you dad. You know? Him leaving. Sorry." How did he know? And as if he could read my mind, "People talk, word gets around. A friend of mine told me."

"Oh. That's fine. It was a while back anyway. A lot has happened."

"Yeah" He agrees with me. "3 years is along time."

For most of the meal, we talk about school. Clearly avoiding the subject of us. Which I am very grateful for. I don't need him to tell me what happened. I know. But I guess we have to talk about it sometime. Its strange how we just drifted apart. Well, it was strange to me.

"I think I should go pick up Kate now. Its nearly 10." I say, standing up.

"Yeah, lets go." I start to head for the door.

When he says something "I'm really sorry Jess."

Confused, I ask; "What for?"

"I don't know. Us not being friends anymore. Us not being best friends anymore. I'm just really sorry." Now I am very confused. Why is he being all sorry, when it was all my fault.

"Why are you apologizing? You didn't do anything wrong! I did. It was me. I know I started to pay more attention to Zack. I know. But it was all just so surreal, you know? He was the first guy that ever had feelings for me, and I was just so excited. I pretty much focused all my attention on him. I know it's meant to be friends first. I know that. I knew that. But I couldn't help myself. Okay? I couldn't" My voice rising with every word I said till I was shouting, and when I finished my face collapsed into the palms of my hands.

"You're wrong."

"What?" I look up at him. "What?"

"I said; you're wrong. He wasn't the first guy that had feelings for you. I was. And I still am."

"Since when?"

"Since I called you beautiful, perfect, and when I said I would never forget you."

"Actually you said, I was as close to perfect as anyone could get." I point out accusingly.

His face, which is grinning harder than the Cheshire Cat is leaning towards me and before I know it our lips touched. It only lasted for a second before he pulled away.

He was the first one to speak, "I cannot believe I spent 3 years of high school without that. And you. Of course." He added.

"Well, there's still Senior year, let's make the most of it." I say while leaning into him, feeling his body heat warm against mine. Our lips are about to meet, when my phone rings.

Groaning, I pick it up, immediately greeted by a very frustrated sister who has been forgotten to be picked up.

When I hang up, I look to Trent, "Your sister?" He asks knowingly.

"Yeah"

We walk out of the diner hand in hand, with this near perfect memory permanently etched into my head.