I'm finishing guitar tabs for this, but I won't share them; I need to make sure my work remains mine. I know it'll be hard to figure out the beat, but I still feel the need to hear opinions over the lyrics. (Yes, I know what they sound like, and that's what they were meant to be. This is an Alternative/Screamo song)

Lyrics
I devoted my life to you from the very start (acoustic starting rhythm simultaneously)
but I guess the blame is mine to hold in part

who's to know where life would've lead me
if you had only shown me just a little heart

(rhythm entry – kind of trance-ish)

There's no point in trying to save me
The thought of death so absorbing.
There's only one way out of this mess
down to hell I go, to my dark abyss.

(Second and third vocals)
just leave me
Just leave me

(small guitar solo, really slow with "Echo Effect" and 'Ping-pong' effect at about 9)

I play your games and still you complain
the choices in my life you bluntly constrain

why couldn't I ever please you – Least you
Could tell me why I was never good enough

(Second and third vocals)
I'm living in your shadow
Living in your shadow
I'm living in your shadow
Living in your shadow

There's no point in saving me,
the blade has cut so deep,
Yeah, just so deep
Close my eyes and let the fire take me, take me
let the pain sink so faintly, bleed

There's no reason to believe
that you ever really loved me (drags out)

(Guitars solo: [lead guitar] starts with a rough downslide on the E and A strings and right into a quick riff of a minor scale (around the 12-19 frets) after a harmonic squeal on the B's 19th fret bending all the way to 22, a faster riff is played with the second guitar playing the same riff but half an octave lower. They finish with a pinch harmonic on the E's 4rd fret together, vibratos reaching about 6 fret-ish. There's a moment where the guitars just home the notes, easing the song back to a slow tempo. Then the song picks up again)
I hope you truly see what you have done
when you finally see your dead son

(Second and third vocals)
Ooooh Oooh Oooooooooooh

Those names you called me?
Think they were never harming?
Just getting through the day was never easy
yeah, breathing was just drowning

There's no one who'd want to stop me
so the blade tears the flesh oh so slowly
You never even thought the things you said
would hurry me to an ugly death

(Second and third vocals)
My eyes no longer mist
I let it all out – let it out with blade in fist
with a blade in fist

you never understood the pain I carry in my chest
so controlling, all the while knowing
I would be the one to put it to rest

(Screamed, 2nd vocalist) (a little mini guitar riff ["fuzz" set at 7 ½, "Hallway" at 10, and "tremolo" at 6 ½] as the bass and drummer lay down a real trashy but steady thump) (Trance beat dies)
You think it's funny and juvenile, a foolish attempt to stretch the truth a mile?
But is it really? Is it that silly? When it's your son that you will bury?
There's a misunderstanding, I really was demanding,
seeking pardon from the heart I despise!
I despise! Despise! the heart I despise!
(from a scream to held note)

(The trance-ish beat revives, slower and quieter as the acoustic plays a second time)

As I'm hang from the neck
and all I can see is stars (Trance-ish beat dies again)
All I can think of, all I can dream…
is it over over yet?
Tell me father, tell me

is it over yet? (Held out acoustic chord)