writing a fucking anomaly, trying.
trying. logic leads me nowhere. i'm seeing the light,
a bright white light: the light that cuts through
every shadow and penetrates every corner. the light
that chases away my deep, dark fears.

is that why we close our eyes when we die?
because we're afraid, and in the darkness
our fears can come alive?

all my life i've tried to shroud myself in darkness.
i've tried to face my fears. i lived a nightmare,
always knowing my greatest fear—greater than
the blade in my hands, the pain in my heart, greater
even than the blood staining my skin or
the terrifying electricity of eight tiny legs
stimulating my neurons—was the fear of passing
from darkness into light

and finding the shadows in the light
darker than the darkest dark
of my wildest dreams.



a/n: I hate that I like the second stanza,
but that the rest of them feel so awkward.