A Funny Thing Happened When...
It was July, and Bryan White was sweltering in one of the hottest summers on record.
With his shirt off, his body beed sweat faster than he could replenish it with a water bottle in hand. He gulped it down. Once he finished it, he threw the bottle away. He didn't care if someone saw him litter, and after a moment, no one confronted him about it, as the bottle bounced and rolled onto someone's lawn.
He was suppose to play basketball with some friends, but they bailed, so he just wandered his neighborhood, and hoped he'd find something interesting to do.
With blonde hair, a small ring in one ear, and a tattoo around his left bicep, he considered himself a cool guy. Yes, he was arrogant. What teen didn't think himself with good looks. Unfortunately, he didn't have a girlfriend like his friends and that bummed him out.
No harm in that, he thought modestly. I can find one.
There was one girl he liked, yet she was seeing his best friend. The "bro-code" was never horde in on your best friend's girlfriend. He liked her, nonetheless. So much in fact, he couldn't stop thinking about her.
His best frient lived in the same neighborhood and without realizing it, Bryan had walked to his bungalow. He often found Cassandra, Matt's girlfriend, here. Matt's mother really liked her. She was sweet, kind, and polite. The perfect accompaniment for Matt. They were a good couple, and they enjoyed many of the same things.
Envy, that's all it was, Bryan concluded of himself. Cassandra was beautiful.
He stopped in front, Matt's mother was outside on the front deck dusting a carpet off.
"Hello, Mrs. Jacobson," Bryan kindly said. "Is Matt here?"
She looked at him, and smiled. "No, Bryan. Matt's with his girlfriend."
Bryan mentally frowned. He had hoped Matt and he could do something together, but ever since Cassandra came into Matt's life, he'd been spending all his time with her. Which was cool, he thought. He'd be doing the same thing if he were Matt.
"You look hot, Bryan," she said.
Bryan gulped. His mind immediately triggered a hormonal response. His shirt was hanging from his pants and he was drenched in sweat, his muscles were defined, and his trousers fit securely to his body… Stop it, he told himself. You have a filthy mind.
"Would you care to come in for some lemonade?" she asked.
He smiled. "Thanks, Mrs. Jacobson. But I'm fine."
"You don't look it, you look dehydrated. Come in, and cool off. I insist."
She smiled, and Bryan accepted her offer. He readied to put his shirt back on, but she said it wasn't necessary. Matt didn't have A.C., so it was warm inside. Bryan felt cooler with his shirt off. Although, he did feel nervous half-naked in front of Matt's mother.
Mrs. Jacobson went to the kitchen and then returned to the living room, where Bryan settled. She handed him a tall glass of lemonade and Bryan took a sip. It quenched his dry throat. "Thank you, Mrs. Jacobson," he said, and then sipped some more.
Mrs. Jacobson took a sip, then said, "Call me Betty. We've known each other for a long time. Matt thinks the world of you. You and he have been best friends since you were toddlers."
Bryan smiled. "We met in the public park just down the street. I was building a sand castle and Matt offered to help. I remember we built a big castle, well, we certainly thought so." He chuckled. "Over the years, we became good friends. We'll be in our last year of high school next year."
"Do you plan on attending college?"
"I haven't thought that far ahead. But Matt wants to study Paleontology. I always thought dinosaurs were fascinating, but I never thought digging up fossil bones was for me. I like athletics."
"Have you thought about going into a career with something to do with that? Medicine, perhaps? Matt said you like biology. Why not combine both your interests? I'm sure you can."
"Sure, like sports medicine of physical-therapy. I like dealing with people." Bryan's eyes suddenly wandered. Mrs. Jacobson, or rather Betty, was wearing a low-cut shirt and shorts that gave her a sensual look. He could even she her nipples through her shirt. He quickly looked away, and sipped his drink.
Moisture from his hand sipped his glass through his fingers and lemonade splashed all over him. The white trousers he was wearing were suddenly covered with a yellow stain.
He jumped up, more so because he didn't want to spill anything on the furniture. "I'm sorry, I'm really sorry," he said quickly. After confirming the lemonade targeted the front of his pants only and nothing else, he tried wiping them down.
"Damn," he expressed, more embarrassed.
"It's okay. Take them off and I'll wash them for you. Matt looks your size. You can borrow some of his clothes. You can change in his room. But might I suggest you take a shower before hand?"
Bryan's face flushed.
"You've been sweating, and honestly, you don't smell very good," she admitted, smiling.
Bryan's face flushed red with embarrassment. "Shower, here?"
"There are fresh towels in the linen closest across from the bathroom down the hall. Just leave your pants in the hall after you enter the bathroom. They will take an hour to wash and dry. I'll also do your shirt."
Bryan froze momentarily. He had seen adult movies that started like this, but he tried not to think about it. He nodded, and then headed to the other side of the bungalow.
He took a towel from the linen closest and then entered the bathroom where here undressed. He put his pants and shirt outside in the hall, but put his boxers on the toilet. Not only would it be inappropriate for her to see his trunks, but also equally to touch and wash them. And besides, he would be putting them back on as soon as he stepped out of the shower. There was no way he was going out with only a towel on.
He turned on the water and tested the temperature and then stepped in, it was perfect. He washed the sweat off his body. He even used some shampoo and conditioner left in in a standing set of trays in the corner to wash his hair. It felt so relaxing that when it was over and he opened the curtain, he didn't even realized that Mrs. Jacobson had come into the bathroom and taken his boxers.
Oh crap, was his first thought.
He wrapped the towel around him and swallowed nervously as he stared at the closed bathroom door. He was naked in his best friend's house with only his mother at home. Obviously, it was innocent. But what if Mr. Jacobson came home?
He started to panic. And to make things worse, he hadn't thought to pick out any clothes to change into of Matt's before he had the shower. That meant he would have to cross the hall to Matt's room in only a towel.
He opened the door ajar and peaked out first before venturing out. Matt's room was down the hall. He saw it and quickly made his way to the door. He turned the handle, but it was locked.
"What the hell?" he said. "Why is it locked?" He tried the handle a couple of more times, but it was futile. "Oh great! What do I do now?" Do I ask Mrs. Jacobson to unlock it? Not like this. She did see me without my shirt, but I'm in a towel now and nothing else, I can't let her see me like this. "I have no choice, I have to find her and face her like this. What am I worried about? She's seen her son in a towel many times, I think. Seeing me won't be surprising. I'm fretting over nothing."
Then the unthinkable happened and he looked down to see that he had an erection. No! he mentally screamed. The thought of being naked and involved in a situation that mirrored an adult movie he had seen must have triggered a sexual response. Damn it! Not here!
He heard the front door open, and Mrs. Jacobson say, "Oh, hello you two. I thought you were at the movies?"
"The movie we wanted to see was sold out," Matt replied. "Nothing else looked good, so we came home."
Bryan gasped. Oh crap!
It was Matt and Cassandra.
Embarrassment flushed his entire body. He couldn't let them see him here and almost naked like this, especially Cassandra. And to complicate things, he had an erection that wouldn't go away.
He hit himself in the crotch hoping the pain would hurt enough to lower his erection. It hurt alright, and he had to clamp his mouth shut with a hand from crying out, but it didn't stop it. In fact, the touch only made it stay more. No ugly images he thought of did the trick either.
"Oh…" Mrs. Jacobson started to say.
"Hi honey…I'm home early!" Mr. Jacobson said, coming through the front door.
"This is a surprise," she said.
Bryan rolled his eyes. You've got to be kidding me!
Matt's father was a structural engineer and he headed a major development project downtown, but Bryan heard via the news that there had been an accident in the downtown core and some places had been shut down. Matt's father was obviously affected by this and now he was home.
An overwhelming panic settled in, and his heart began to thump with an intensity he had never felt before. He had two choices: 1) Go back into the bathroom and wait, or 2) Offer an explanation. But from what Matt told him of his father, Mr. Jacobson was a jealous man. And he wouldn't take kindly to seeing his son's best friend with only a towel on alone with his wife.
And what would Matt think? Matt was more liberal-minded and open to explanation, but it would still be a situation Bryan would rather avoid. If only Matt's door wasn't locked. He probably has something inside he doesn't want his parents' to see or find, like maybe a stack of Playboy's or DVD's.
I do the same thing at home, hiding my collection. Don't think about Playboy!
As long as everyone stayed where they were, he could think of something to do. Like what? His best bet was to return to the bathroom and hope Mrs. Jacobson explained the situation before anyone discovered him. A misunderstanding like this could ruin a perfectly happy marriage, he thought.
He took a step towards the bathroom, when he suddenly heard a soft growl. He turned and saw Matt's ankle-biting, white Shitzu was looking at him from a partially opened door to his parents' bedroom. He knew the dog had a nasty disposition and barked at every one.
It barred its teeth at him. Bryan swallowed hard and smiled, trying to look friendly. "Nice Max. Good boy. Don't make any noise, please."
Suddenly the dog lunged at him and grabbed his towel, ripping it off him. Bryan pulled away. The dog flung the towel around in its mouth like a toy.
Now he was totally naked in the hallway. He covered himself with a hand out of instinct. The good thing was, his erection was gone. Maybe it was the image of having a rabid dog bite off his manhood made it important enough to stop any thrill of excitement.
"Oh, hello Bryan," came a child's voice. Matt's little sister came out of her room next to Matt's. Mrs. Jacobson never mentioned Matt's sister was home. She was wearing her pajama's and she looked sick. But then he remembered Matt said his sister did have the flu. She coughed.
Bryan stopped himself from yelping in shock, and put both hands in front to cover his genitals. He stood completely naked in front of Matt's little sister. If Matt, or anyone else came here now, they'd think he was a pedophile exposing himself to her. Well, almost doing so.
The situation was turning out worse by the moment. How could it get any worse? He didn't want to know. "Sweetly, don't say anything, okay? " Explaining things to her, he knew, would only be futile
"Why do you have no clothes on, Bryan?" she asked.
"Long story, sweetheart, go back to bed, okay?" Bryan said.
She smiled, and said, "Okay." And she went back and got into bed.
He breathed a sigh of relief. But then max began to growl at him again. And then started to bark, in its high-pitch shrill. "Quiet Max!" he said quietly. "Shush, shush!" But the dog didn't relent.
Bryan then reached for the towel, but Max grabbed hold of it and pulled.
Someone finally investigated the noise, it was Matt. His eyes widened when he saw the scene. Bryan continued to struggle with Max for the towel.
"What the hell is going on here?" Matt said.
"I can explain," Bryan said repeatedly, his entire body flushed red with embarrassment.
* * *
In a pair of Matt's jeans and a t-shirt, Bryan explained everything. And at the end, everyone laughed, even Mr. Jacobson.
"I just wish I had a picture," Cassandra said.
"It's definitely a story worth telling," Matt said.
"Please don't, I beg you!" Bryan pleaded.
And everyone laughed again.