O, glorious moose!
Ye mighty beast!
Guardian of the sacred maple leaf.
And who would dare challenge your grace?
Your overwhelming presense?
Alas, I too was once great.
O, how the greatness slips away.
Would that I have even an ounce of your radiance;
Fain I shall give my life and limb
To be your nourishment!
But alas, it is not to be,
For you are an herbivore,
And eater of leaves and seeds.
I am but a lowly omnivore –
There is nothing too sacred for me to shove down my gullet.
Behold, that ravenous maw!
Those grinding jaws, and perfectly cubic teeth!
Would that I be a moose myself,
O, the sweetness that would follow!
But alas, human am I,
The lowliest creature of nature's favor;
For my kind have desecrated the sacred maple leaf,
And stolen its lifeblood for our pancakes.
What deserve I, but a trampling
Beneath your majestic hooves?
O, Canada, how I wish to be a moose!