My life was such a joke, and I was a walking punch line.
The night shift I worked at a local hotel was going just dandy, I said with a serious amount of sarcasm.
The little old lady currently standing in front of me had been screaming about her sheets for the past ten minutes. It was rather hard to offer a solution to a problem when I couldn't get a word in edgewise.
A year away from graduating college and here I was, working the check-in counter at a hotel at nine o'clock at night, being screamed at by someone four times my age.
Welcome to the real world, folks.
And it just kept getting better.
After Dawson left this morning, I thought that was the end. Roll credits, lower curtains. The situation was handled and I would never see him again. Oh, how wrong I was.
"Excuse me," I said as I walked past Grandma Cranky, "I'll be back in one second. There's a situation that needs handling."
"What are you doing here?" was the sentence that was shouted at a surprised Dawson. "Are you stalking me? You have to be, you can't just show up at three places that I also just happen to be at?"
"Uh, this is the hotel I'm staying at while I'm in town. I didn't know you worked here." Likely story and one I didn't believe.
"Whatever Dawson, that doesn't explain where you got my home address. I see you one night at a bar, and you happen to show up on my doorstep the next day?" This was too much, way too much. I had enough going on in my life without an ex-boyfriend that had potentially gone crazy.
"About the conversation on your doorstep…"
"No! It's over; you said what you wanted to say! It's done!" All attempts at keeping my voice down had gone out the window. I did not want to do this here, or really, I did not want to do this ever.
He still seemed perfectly in control, which irritated me more than I could put into words. I wanted to wipe that perfectly formed smirk off his face.
"Actually, I didn't get to sat what I wanted to say. You didn't exactly let me finish and I was only halfway through my apology."
"You don't get to apologize! And even if you did, you definitely would not be forgiven. Sometimes, people don't get forgiven!"
I would like to say that I walked back to the check-in counter calmly and with an air of sophistication, but I would be lying to you.
And as if my night couldn't get any better, the cranky old bat with the sheets problem was still there.
"He is quite handsome. Maybe you should talk to him. Handsome men like that don't go after girls like you every day."
"Stay out of it, you crazy old coot, and just for that you can deal with the sheets! Have a nice sleep!" This was shouted over my shoulder and I ran through the swinging doors into the "Employees Only" section.
The antagonist of our lovely story could later be found with a cellphone to his ear saying the words "I'm definitely breaking her down. She can't last much longer without talking to me. This was a brilliant plan. It really was."