A/N: Lawls, so I should be writing a research essay AND an analytical essay right now, but Becca can't concentrate. Or think of anything to write, either. So I'm gonna write something fluffy. Meh. I'm sleeeeeeeeeepy. At least I get to go home early. Whatever. Here goes. Oh, hey! It's gonna be a fanfic because I just watched the new Amazing Spiderman on Sunday. A fic between Peter and Flash, but I don't know that it'll be between them, but more of that idea… Uhm… It came from the scene where Flash comes up to Peter after Peter's uncle gets shot and tries to apologize, or whatever. Peter is called Carter and Flash will be… Matt. So… ¡Vamanos!
Matt heard about Carter's uncle that weekend on the news. Immediately, he felt a sting of emotion. He couldn't name it, but it was a mix of guilt and something else. In his mind flashed all the times he ridiculed him about not having a mom and dad. Now he didn't even have any sort of father figure. He was alone with his Aunt. He guessed at the second feeling in his chest: maybe pity? Sympathy? Maybe love or care? He dismissed the last propositions. It was probably just normal pity that he'd feel for anyone who experienced what Carter had been through. But, still, he felt it necessary to apologize to Carter. To show his concern.
Monday he did just that.
"Hey, Carter!" he yelled, approaching the kid's locker.
"Not today, Matt," Carter replied stiffly.
"Carter," Matt said a bit more gently, as he neared the other boy. Suddenly, Matt was off of his feet and Carter had him pushed up against the bay of lockers by his shirt.
"I said not today." Carter's voice was dangerous, but Matt didn't flinch. Instead he softened his face and looked into Carter's eyes.
"Your uncle died. I'm sorry. I'm not here to beat on you. I'm here to apologize." Carter's grip loosened, and Matt's toes touched the ground. "Apologize not only for what happened over the weekend, but to apologize for how I've treated you." Carter had completely released Matt now, and Matt stood on his own two feet.
Okay, Matt thought. I don't remember thinking to apologize for all that. But his mouth continued speaking anyway.
"I've been a dick to you our entire high school career. I don't know why. I just…" Carter gripped Matt's shirt again, not to threaten him again, but more to hold himself up. He fell into Matt's chest, and cried. Matt, a little lost from the whole situation, slowly, and very awkwardly, wrapped his arms around Carter. He ran one of his hands soothingly through Carter's hair as sobs shook both of their bodies.
"Let me take you home." Matt offered. "We can go to my house for a while. That sound okay?" Carter nodded into Matt's chest and lifted his head enough to walk independently. He let his hair cover his red and puffy eyes. Matt kept his arm around the shorter boy's shoulder and guided him out a back way and to his sports car.
There was something odd happening in Matt's head. When he brought Carter home, he had let him pick out a movie to watch in Matt's room. Matt put in the disc and started the movie, but he couldn't watch the screen. Instead, his eyes were glued to Carter; first his eyes, then lips, chest, neck, shoulder, anywhere and everywhere on his body, but Matt's eyes kept falling back to those lips. All Matt wanted to do was to lean over and kiss those rosy lips.
A snap of Carter's fingers brought Matt back into the real world. Matt blushed, having been caught staring, and moved his gaze to the floor.
"What should we do now?" asked Carter.
Cuddle, maybe? thought Matt. He shook his head in an attempt to get those thoughts out. "I don't know. Wanna play some video games or something?" he asked out loud.
"Do you really think you have a chance of beating a nerd at video games?" asked Carter, playfully shoving Matt's shoulder.
"Oh, you think you're better than me, do you?" Matt shoved Carter back.
"Yes, I believe I am much better than you at video games." Carter pushed Matt again, and they started to wrestle. At first, it seemed Carter might actually get the upper hand, but soon enough, Matt gained a vantage point, and pinned Carter on his back by the shoulders. Matt swung a leg over Carter's hips to restrain him further. Their noses were inches apart, and their breathing was heavy. Matt responded to this situation in an odd way.
He closed his eyes and brought their lips together.
The kiss was not long, nor was it deep. It was a sweet dance of soft flesh against soft flesh. It was light and teasing. It was heartfelt and emotional. It was love, defined.
It was wrong.
It was unexpected.
It was gay.
It was pleasant. It was natural. It was perfect. It was the thing that was missing from their lives. But it wasn't that simple.
Matt pulled away, and broke out of his trance. As he came back to reality, he moved off of Carter and sat on the floor further away from him.
"I'm sorry" he said. "I don't know why I did that. Just… Just please don't tell anyone… Don't tell anyone I did that. I shouldn't have. I'm sorry. I'll leave you alone."
Matt concentrated hard on the carpet beneath him. In the corner of his eye, he could see a shocked Carter slowly sit upright.
"I think I'm going to go home now," Carter said in a voice that sounded hypnotized by disbelief. He stood and walked mindlessly out the door. Matt stayed where he was.
The week passed by in smudges of color and shapeless noise around Matt. He acknowledged nothing and no one. All he saw was Carter when he walked down the hallway. Matt looked toward him with hopeful eyes, as Carter completely ignored Matt's existence. By the time Friday came, Matt's mood had affected the weather. Thunder stomped across the clouds as lightning tore through the sky and rain raced down to the pavement. That day had gone as the previous ones. Matt sat on his couch trying not to think. He listened to the thunder and felt each hit roll through him.
Then the doorbell rang.
He pulled himself off the couch and walked to the door. Through the peephole he could see a soaking wet boy who went by the name of Carter. He hesitated.
Carter knocked, and shouted, "It's getting cold!" After hesitating another three seconds, Matt opened the door. Before he could ask what Carter was doing there, Carter spoke.
"Where's your family?"
"They're on a business trip in Prague. Why?" Matt responded.
Carter moved into the front hall and shut the door behind him. Then he proceeded to wrap his wet arms around Matt and kiss him. After a second of shock, Matt melted into the frozen lips of the guy he finally realized he was in love with. The two fell back against the door and Matt's front was plastered to Carter by the wet clothes Carter wore. Matt felt a shiver shake Carter's body, and pulled away from the kiss.
"Here," Matt said, taking Carter's hand and leading him upstairs. "Take a hot shower, I'll make some tea, and then we need to talk."
"But I don't have any other clothes."
"You can borrow mine."
"But I'm soaked to the bone." Carter blushed.
"It's okay. You can wear my boxers. Just get in the shower. Don't worry, there's a lock."
Matt showed Carter where the bathroom was and helped him start the shower. Then he walked back to his room to find a pair of pajama pants, boxers, and a sweatshirt for Carter to borrow. When he walked back in the bathroom, Carter had stripped his soaked shirt. Matt's eyes lingered on Carter's beautiful chest for a moment, before handing him the spare clothes.
"Here, let me wash your wet clothes for you." He grabbed the wet v-neck and instructed Carter to hand him the rest of his clothes through the door after he left. When he obtained the garments, he walked down the stairs and put them in the wash before he proceeded to make hot tea.
Ten minutes later, a warm, clean Carter walked down the stairs looking desirable in borrowed clothing. The look on his face was incredibly shy, and Matt couldn't help the swelling feeling in his heart.
"Do you want sugar in your tea?" Matt asked hoping his fluttering insides wouldn't affect his voice.
"Yeah, two spoons, please." Carter's voice was way too casual for the situation we were in. The whole thing was unreal to begin with.
Matt, the tough guy, the bully, the one with girls falling off his arms, was in love with Carter, the nerd, the bullied, the sweet guy that all the nerdy girls secretly wanted. And if Carter walking to Matt's house in the rain to kiss him was any indication, Carter probably liked Matt a little bit too.
Matt handed Carter his tea after stirring in some sugar to both their mugs. Matt headed over to the table and nodded his head in a way to imply that Carter should follow. They sat across from each other, and for a moment sat in silence. Matt was the first to break the silence.
"Is this something you do often? Running through the rain to kiss people?"
"Is kissing your enemies something you do often? Or how about inviting them over to watch movies and wrestle?" Carter returned.
"No. Not really. Especially the guy ones." Matt could feel his cheeks reddening.
"So this is new for both of us."
The conversation dipped into awkwardness. Both boys looked off to the sides, refusing to meet each other's eyes. Then it was Carter's turn to blush.
"So…" he started. "What now?"
"What do you mean, what now?"
"I don't know. I mean do we walk away and forget this ever happened? Does this make us…" Matt could fill in the blanks.
There was a pause. "Do you want to be?" Matt asked with a timidity that was unfamiliar to him.
"I don't know. I mean, you're a guy, and I'm a guy, so isn't that weird? But, I did just run over here in the middle of a downpour to kiss you…"
"Do… Do you think it'd help if we maybe, I don't know, kissed again?" Matt's voice was shaking.
"Well, it couldn't hurt," replied Carter, as he stood up to come to Matt's side of the table. Carter extended his hand toward Matt and when Matt accepted it, he felt a touch of electricity fly up his arm straight into his heart, which responded by pumping faster. Their movements were slow, and their eyes wide. They studied each other with a bubbling concoction of excitement, fear, nervousness, and a pinch of This-Is-A-Bad-Idea.
Then their lips connected and all apprehension was wiped clean. This time it was for real. Neither of them was acting purely on impulse. Neither of them was surprised by the kiss. There was nothing clouding their mind, inhibiting thought. And their thoughts were clear.
This kiss was pure. This kiss was clean. This kiss was comfortable. It was peace, joy, acceptance. This kiss was right. And they both could feel it.
Matt snaked his arms up and around Carter's shoulders, and Carter responded by hugging Matt's waist. A moment later, eyes still shut, Matt broke from Carter's lips, kissed his cheek and rested his own head on Carter's shoulder.
"Why in the world do you like me?" breathed Carter.
"I could ask you the same thing. Especially considering, you know, how I've always treated you like dirt." Matt pulled away, and turned to hide his face, twiddling his guilty thumbs.
"I can answer that one for you." Carter tugged at Matt's shoulder and turned him around, but Matt refused to lift his head. He wouldn't dare look into the eyes he spent so much of his life trying to hurt.
"It was that day. The day you took me home with you. The day you apologized for everything. That day I knew I had seen the real you, not the tough guy that didn't care for other people. Not the dick who would torture me on a daily basis. I saw the sweet guy under the hurt, the confusion, and the pressure of being in the spotlight. I saw the guy that I could hang out and actually have fun with. And then you went and kissed me. I was petrified. I loved those few hours where I was close to you, and when you closed that gap, when you brought to the forefront of my mind what I had been pushing back all day, I panicked. I didn't know what to do. I hardly knew how to react when a girl kissed me, much less a guy. So I fled."
That week I couldn't think of anything except that kiss. I couldn't get your taste out of my mouth. And the way you would stare at me in the halls, with your eyes sparkling with the last remnant of hope in your soul, I couldn't let you go. I had to do something. It broke my heart to see you so hurt. No matter how hard I tried to avoid your gaze, your silence, your abnormal behavior, I would still dream of you. Yeah, real manly, I know. But it's like when I finally saw who you really were, it burned an image into my heart, and I couldn't just ignore the searing pain in my chest. I had to come back. I had to kiss you again. Finally, today, my walls broke down, shattered like glass, and I ran over here in the pouring rain, because I had to soothe the burn you left on me. Which was totally stupid, because I have a car, but I'm a hormonal teenage boy who just figured out he's gay for his tormentor. Nothing really is logical about my life. But that's okay." As Carter finished his speech, Matt rubbed his eyes and realized he was silently crying. He sighed, and pulled Carter over to the couch.
"I really don't know what's going on with me right now," Matt began. "Sometimes I just have to start talking and eventually I'll work things out. I don't know anything more than I feel this inexplicable desire to kiss you."
"Inexplicable. That's a big word." Carter managed to get a laugh out of Matt, but Matt still punched him.
"Hey, I didn't interrupt you. Anyway. I don't really know why I've always been so mean to you, either. Maybe… I think… I think I was afraid of you. The moment I met you, I remember thinking, 'That's the one. That sucker better pray. He will be mine,' and I think I chose you because you terrified me. Do you remember when we met? It was the first day of middle school and you looked so happy. Your smile was so bright. You introduced yourself to me and offered me a seat at your lunch table. Yeah, I think that's when I felt myself start to fall. And I decided I'd fight it. I'd do everything in my power to make me hate you. Because I was terrified that if I didn't hate you, I'd end up loving you." There was a second of silence, as Matt finally understood years of violence and hatred. He finally knew why he acted the way he did. He was desperately trying not to fall in love. "And then, the day your uncle died, I decided to break the dam that was holding back all of my emotions towards you, but I didn't quite realize that there was so much hiding behind the dark brick wall separating this desire from real life. I didn't realize that once I put that small hole in my barrier, all of this would come flooding out and completely destroy any obstruction of my emotions. And without that wall of protection, I was subject to your charm. Without that pretense of hatred, I was exposed to what I was shielding myself from since middle school. All these years of pain I've caused you were because of my selfishness. I was afraid of you, because I knew that you would be the one to make me feel love. And I didn't want to love you. I didn't want to love another guy." Finally, Matt looked into Carter's eyes.
"But it's too late now. I've fallen and there's no way back up." Matt bit his lip before continuing. "So, yeah. I think I'd like it if… if you were mine. My boyfriend."
"So it's settled, then," Carter replied. "You have a boyfriend, and so do I."
Matt grinned and gave Carter one more kiss, and pulled him to his chest. "You are beautiful. And you are mine."
A/N: How long ago was it that I started this? I think I was still in summer school. Man, this one took a while, for some reason. But it's done.
Carter: Dude, what if the actor that played Spiderman read this.
Matt: Hah, I wonder how Flash would react! Mr. Tough Guy actually has a soul. A gay soul, for that matter.
Carter: I find that offensive. I'm gay.
Matt: Oh, sorry. I didn't realize. :P
Carter: Jerk. Oh, well. You're cute, anyway.
Matt: I know I am.
Me: Boys, stop being weird.
Matt: You do realize that you're the one who created us, and therefore any weirdness we portray is only an extension of your own personality.
Me: Yeahh, I know.
Carter: Ignore him. He's just a bully. Anyway, review! Especially those from The Amazing Spiderman!