Prank Calling Al Capone

(A boy of about 15 years old walks into a house and sits down in a chair. Beside the chair, on a small table, is a phone. The boy—whose name is Richard—picks the phone up and dials a random number. Someone picks up on the other end.)

Al Capone: All children should stay on their own turfs! Hello!

Richard: Hello, sir. This is Mr. Slappywag. I'm calling to tell you that your credit card has been charged. That'll be an extra $50, please.

Al Capone: What? But I didn't even buy anything, Slappywag! You've got the wrong number!

Richard: For English, press 1. For Japanese, press 2.

Al Capone: Hey, I don't speak no Japanese! You've got the wrong number!

Richard: For English, press 1. For Japanese, press 2.

Al Capone: Fine! (Presses 1.) There, I pressed 1, Slappywag! Now what do I do?

Richard: Boku tachi wa, ore wa hoshi, hiro, fumi.

Al Capone: I told you, I don't speak the language of Japan! You've got the wrong number, man!

Richard: Tokio kiku-neko, daichi urasawa, kuro, byaku, aka, midori, rengo-koku, suujiku-koku.

Al Capone: (Presses other numbers.) There, I pressed a whole bunch of numbers! Now what do I do?

Richard: For potato salad, touch your nose and say "beep".

Al Capone: What's the potato salad for?

Richard: It's a salad made from potatoes.

Al Capone: I know what it is, Slappywag! I asked what the hell it's for!

Richard: For potato salad, touch your nose and say "beep".

Al Capone: Hey, I'm not doing no—alright. (Touches his nose) BEEP! (Takes his finger off his nose) There, I pressed my nose and beeped at you. Now what?

Richard: Your credit card has been charged. That'll be an extra $100, please.

Al Capone: Hey, stupid, I didn't even buy anything! You've got the wrong number, dipstick! (While Richard is making funny faces and mocking him on the other end of the phone) Hello? Hello! You've got the wrong number! Hello! Hey, Slappywag, answer me! Don't you know who I am? I'm Al Capone! Hello? Hello! You're in so much trouble if I find you, Slappywag! (After Richard hangs up on him) Hello!

(Meanwhile, in Richard's house…)

Richard: (Chuckles) That was fun.