20. T.H.I.N.G.S.T.O.S.A.Y.T.O.T.U.R.N.S.O.M.E.O.N.E.O.F.F.

1) "Can you hold my stuff? I need to get out my gun."

2) "What do I do for a living? Well, I stand on that street corner in my underwear, and then get in peoples cars and have sex. I may have a STD by now, but I dunno..."

3) "YAY! The doctor told me I have Chlamydia! Oh my god, I've always wanted a dinosaur!"

4) "Have I ever been in a relationship? No, but I've practiced with my mum..."

5) "I DON'T DRINK! Hey, I'm gonna dance now," -falls over and pukes on the floor- "...you gonna eat that?"

6)"Yeah yeah, love you too, now hurry up and do me bitch!"

7)"I LOVE YOU! I DON'T CARE IF I GET GINGERVITUS!"

8)"Well, I couldn't find a condom, but I found this guinea pig?"

9)"DON'T TOUCH UP MY PUSSY! My cat will hate that you bastard!"

10) "OH MY GOD! I LOVE JUSTIN BIEBER!"

11) "My sex fantasy? Hmm.... can you dress up as SpongeBob?"

12) "I love you." "Fuck you bitch..."

13)"Sorry, I only date pretty girls."

14)"I hope you like doggy breath!"

15)"If you love me, you would change this shit filled diaper!"

16) "We can have kids when I leave you..."

17)"Take my bag, don't worry it's not a bomb... =l"

18)"The next time you think about me, I'll probably be shagging someone else..."

19)"Do you smoke?"
"No it's bad for your lungs and gives you cancer and stuff."
"Oh ok.... do you want some weed?"
"WHAT THE HELL!? IT TOOK YOU THIS LONG TO ASK ME!? you shitty girlfriend..."

20)"Woman, you belong in kitchen, make me (man) sandwich, while I play video game, and wank to some porn..."


Lol, no idea what was on my mind when I wrote this, but I hope you found it funny =D
Review please! Thank you!
Good luck with future reading / writing! =D

Leanne

xoxo