Listen

By Regina

I couldn't believe I was doing this. I nervously checked my surroundings; I was looking for undercover cops—it wasn't as if I trained for that sort of thing, I just assumed I watched enough action movies to be able to detect covert policemen. She told me to meet me in an open place, she wasn't sure if she could trust me enough yet. I knew I wasn't some deranged sadistic rapist but she wanted to take precautions. I was a little a offended. I'm a nice guy. I pay my taxes. I don't pirate music. I put the toilet seat down for Melinda—

Oh shit, Melinda. I tried to push the thoughts about my pregnant wife out of my mind. I felt even shittier. I was meeting some random teenage girl and Melinda was puking her guts out in the hospital. She was under intensive care. The hospital staff had surrounded her 'round the clock for four days straight. I just kept thinking about Jenna…

I thought about her smooth brown thighs, her small waist, and her dark insatiable chocolate eyes. I laid my head on the car window. It had been 13 minutes and I had not seen Jenna yet. The worst case scenario flashed in my mind. Everything we ever did was a lie. She was just some old police officer pretending to be a 16 year old girl. Then I laughed. I saw Jenna multiple times, in multiple angles on my computer late at night.

I was about to doze off when I heard a knocking sound and jumped. I saw Jenna from the other side of the window. I smiled and all my nervousness seemed to vanish. My anxiety was replaced by another kind of feeling and I was excited to share that feeling with Jenna.

"Come outside," she coolly said. Her dark brown hair was pulled back in a messy bun. She pushed her purple coke shaped glasses up her nose. She also donned a gray oversized cardigan and purple skinny jeans. She was wearing a low cut white shirt and I could see a black bar. She looked really fucking cute.

"Ok," I said elated. I opened the car door and stepped out.

She told me online she was short but I could finally grasps how tiny she was. She was only 5'2'' and maybe 110 pounds. She was really petite and to be honest a little flat. She complained continuously about how people thought she was a sixth grader. How could you blame anyone? She looked youthful. She tried to act mature by fronting a mature hipster demeanor but I wasn't buying. No one can be that cool.

Jenna approached me and hugged me tightly. "I'm so glad that this finally happened" she voiced with her head in my chest.

I hugged her back and kissed the top of her head. "Me too," I replied. "I'm happy…"

It was the first time in a long time since I felt that way. Ever since I met Jenna in a chat room the void that was inside me started to fill up. She was funny, she was smart, and she was cute. I swear I didn't want her because she was 16. I swear I'm not a pedophile—it just happened.

Melinda and I argued again—she kept calling me a loser, she told me was going to leave me, she hated me and she wanted me dead. We were past the part of our marriage where we were silently suffering and having sex once a week.

We were at the part where we were self-destructing and our home became a war zone. Everything turned into a fight. I wanted to leave Melinda so many times. I've countlessly packed my bags.

Every time I want to leave she's at the door sobbing with her make up running. She pleads for me to stay and she screams how much she loves me. I tell her to fuck off and that I don't ever want to see her again. She starts pulling out her hair and she says if I leave out the door she will just kill herself. One day I actually did and I heard the sound of glass breaking. When I ran back inside the house I saw she broke the living room window. Her wrists were covered in blood and she whispered I told you so.

It's my fault. I broke her.

I broke from my trance when I realized that Jenna was on her tippy toes trying to kiss me. I kissed her on the lips softly. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her closer to me. She pushed her hands against the front of my pants and nibbled on my neck.

I moaned. Jenna mentioned she liked biting a couple of times when we chatted. I kissed her on the neck while I open the back seat of my car and pushed her inside. I locked the door.

"Are we going to do this here?" she said biting her lip timidly.

"No, you're too special for that."

I was on top of her as Jenna straddled me. I put both hands on the side of her head and leaned down. I took in this moment. I never thought I would be here doing this with a girl like Jenna. An image of Melinda at the hospital popped into my head. I swallowed the guilt and slowly licked Jenna's neck. She smelled like French vanilla, like one of those girly sugary body sprays sold at Claire's. I nibbled on her neck and Jenna moaned. She closed her eyes and bit her bottom lip. As I continued to suckle on her sweet flesh, she held tighter against my waist. I bit down and then flicked my tongue in circles across the bite mark I made on her brown skin. She moaned harder this time and gyrated her hips against me. She wasn't kidding when she told she was into biting. I scrapped my teeth against her neck and licked one last time. I feverishly kissed her mouth and Jenna's hands on ran through my red hair. I abruptly pulled away and sat up. The phone in my pocket vibrated.

"What's wrong?" Jenna asked pouting. "Are you okay?" she continued.

I swallowed hard. "I'm fine. I need to take this okay?"

She nodded and I pulled my phone out. I received a text message from Melinda. I clicked view. It read "Please baby, I ned u right now. Please come back…"

I sighed and thought about what I should do.

Jenna asked "What's wrong?"

"Um…it's nothing." I turned off my phone and placed it back in my pocket. Jenna smiled and kissed me.

"I love your beard; it's so hot." Jenna said in between kisses. She was rubbing my beard and I could totally tell she was into it.

"Thanks," I said sincerely. This is what I wanted. I wanted to be wanted. I wanted someone who thought I was attractive and wouldn't threaten to kill themselves every other day.

I was nervous when I first chatted to Jenna. She said she wanted to see me on webcam. I tried to refuse but she insisted. I even stated she didn't have to show herself on camera either; I just wanted someone to talk with. I tried to bargain but she was getting pissy. She threatened to never speak with me again unless I showed my face. I didn't think I was going to be hot enough for her.

In her messenger pic she is wearing a tiny white bikini that looked fantastic against her dark brown skin. She's smiling and showing off her braces. It's the only picture I've seen of her where she looks older. The avatar for my messenger was completely empty.

I made a self-deprecating comment and joked that I was going to disappoint her. She said she didn't care; she just wanted to make sure I was real. After thirty minutes I finally—though reluctantly, agreed. I turned on my webcam and I felt conscious about my appearance.

I breathed slowly and anticipated what she was going to say.

Bikinirebel: omg you're so cute!

I wasn't sure if she was trying to be nice. I replied "lol, you're just saying that."

Bikinirebel: no I'm not. You're cute. Don't be such a girl.

I let go a sigh of relief.

When she asked me to describe myself in the chat room I said: I am about 6'7, I never played basketball but I did play hockey throughout my life. I was more toned and muscled when I was younger. Now I'm just skinny and pale and have red hair. My eyes are green/blue. The thing I'm most proud of is my teeth, they are white and straight.

She replied "lol, I didn't ask for your life story, but I just wanted to know if you were cute."

Jenna asked, "Why are you always daydreaming about something?"

"What?"

She wrapped her arms around my neck and brought her lips a millimeter away from mine. "You seem to not be noticing me…"

I chuckled. "That's impossible." I leaned in for a kiss but she pulled away smiling.

"When are we going?"

"We can leave right now. I put your address in my tomtom. We should be there in about 15 minutes."

She looked down and bit her bottom lip again. "Isn't this awesome? We finally met…"

"Yeah it is. It's amazing…"

She leaned for a kiss and this time her lips touched mine.

I pulled away and asked "Are you sure your parents away?"

She sighed annoyingly. "Jeez, they are away. I've been planning this for like three weeks. They are at church and I am doing a math project."

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry," I repeated. "I just want to make sure."

"I wouldn't do anything to mess this up. Trust me."

I tried to run my hand through her hair but she swatted it away. She also mentioned she didn't want me to touch her hair. I forgot. I laughed and looked down on this cute tiny little girl. The little things she told me online manifested real life into this tangible human being. "You're so beautiful…"

She averted eye contact and mumbled thank you.

"Why can't I ever tell you that you're beautiful?" She shrugged. I tenderly stroked her cheek and then held her face in my hands. "I'm so serious…I wish you could see that."

She stayed silent.

"Seriously. I mean it. You're so gorgeous. You're amazing you know that? You're different…you're not like most teenagers..."

"That's the problem," she whispered. Tears fell down her face and I held her in my arms.

"I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to make you cry…"

She sniffled. "It's okay. Can we just leave?"

I nodded and we both exited the car. We both entered the front seat and drove to her house in silence.

Jenna was really sensitive about her looks and her self-esteem. Whenever I said she was pretty she would change the subject and talk about something else. I confronted her about it a couple of times online and she would start getting emotional. I dropped it after a while but it made me feel horrible.

We made it to her house in less than ten minutes. As promised they were no cars in the drive way.

"We're here," I cheerfully said. I was trying to brighten the mood but Jenna still seemed upset about earlier. I stroked her face, which was still wet. "I'm sorry, I really am…but I just. I like you. You're amazing. I want to make you feel amazing…" I leaned in and tried to kiss her but she pushed me away. She looked outside the window and avoided my eyes.

"I don't want to do this anymore…" she whispered.

I could imagine my face being contorted in confusion. "Is it because of what I said?"
She shook her head. "I just…I'm so fucked up…I'm with a man who is 32 years old. I'm just fucked up…"

I tried to think of what to say. "I don't think you're fucked up".

She cried again. She buried her hands in her face and started to weep. "I just…I wanted someone. I just don't know how to be normal. I like fuck guys like it's nothing…"

I tried to hug her but she pushed me away again. "Please don't cry…" was all I could muster.

She wiped tears from her face. "You just think I'm some easy slut you can fuck…You didn't even like me."

"What! Don't even say that! You're just being insecure. I know I like you a lot. You're not fucked up. You're normal. Just because people don't like the idea of teenage girls actually liking sex doesn't mean you're the terrible one. Maybe people shouldn't be so backwards."

She cried again "But you're still older than me. That shows some pretty fucked up daddy issues ok?"

"People can't help who they fall for…"

She breathed heavily and said "I'm sorry…I just can't."

I closed my eyes and I felt like everything was shattered. "Ok. It's okay. It was pretty messed up anyway."

She opened the car door and walked into her house. I stayed in the drive way for a few minutes and I felt really emotionally. There was something deep inside me that was brewing; it was sadness, but a different sort. It was more like the sort of sadness that occurs when hope is lost...

I mentally kicked myself for making her cry. I shouldn't have brought it up. I put the key in the ignition, as I backed out the driveway I saw Jenna run out the house. I stopped the car. She ran to the car, open the door and kissed me hard on the mouth. She moaned loudly and my hands found themselves all over her body. She ended up on my lap, facing me. She rubbed her crotch on top of mine and moaned even louder. I couldn't take it. I promised myself to be cautious. But it was in the middle of the day and a black teenage girl was dry humping a white 30 something in her driveway. I convinced myself to not give a fuck and I pushed her ass against my hard on.

" Ah..oh god." She screamed as she rubbed faster against me. She unbuttoned her skinny jeans. I closed the door and quickly reclined the chair so the neighbors couldn't see us. She pulled of her oxford shoes and then her skinny jeans. She had on green panties. I inserted one finger into her slit and I almost came from how wet she was. She continued to rub herself on me. "Ahhh, fuck me." The wetness in the panties continued to grow and finally she climaxed.

She fell on top of me exhausted. I kissed her again. She started to laugh. "You didn't um…finish." She ended up in between my legs, my pants and boxers were around my ankle, and my dick was in her mouth. Jenna didn't have to try hard. I came in less than 5 minutes. Jenna tried to kiss me but reflexively I pulled away.

"I had to taste it and it's not that bad Carry."

"I don't want to."

"I just gave you a blowjob..."

I quickly pecked her on the lips and she laughed.