Two Months Without Facebook
It was an impulsive decision, to abandon Facebook for two months. Impulsive. That phrase, and its implications, has been popping up all the time lately. Spontaneous. Random. Arbitrary.
My attention span has all but disappeared. And contrary to popular belief, I did have an attention span before Facebook. I could read two novels a day, both over 300 pages long. I could send e-mails for hours, each one breaching 1000 words long. I could sit and watch TV for fourteen hours a day. I spent hours scouring the Internet, IMDbing, Photobucketing, Google-ing. I could sit down and write, and write well, for hours at a time, never once leaving the computer. Of course, not all in one day – there aren't enough hours.
Now? I'm reading two novels in as many months. Small novels, mind you. Oftentimes, I'll get halfway through and just stop. And me being the mother of all bookworms, that's a problem. I don't think I've sent an e-mail in weeks. And the ones I do send are disconnected. Short, succinct. My heart isn't in them anymore. I don't watch TV anymore. I can't sit through a half hour program without fidgeting, losing concentration, leaving the room. Half an hour. I don't use Google as much anymore, I use Facebook. I don't use IMDb anymore. I use Facebook. I don't use Photobucket as much anymore.
And I can't write anymore. I try. Time and time again, I try. And time and time again, I fail. I write a paragraph, and I'm gone. And the words that I write – they are not my words. There isn't any part of me in them. They are letters on the page. Not words, not emotions, not feelings. My heart isn't in it anymore.
And it is nearly all because of Facebook.
I took a month off, last year, from August to September. The dates have slipped my mind. Like so many other things these days. After the month, I didn't want to go back. I improved, as an individual, during those days where I didn't compulsively need Facebook. But, as time showed, my addiction was strong, and my will was weak. And now, I'm back to nearly 10 hours a night, obsessively checking and re-checking pointless and trivial things.
My friendships are falling apart. My resolve is wavering. My attention span and IQ are fading. And all because of this stupid, addictive thing called Facebook. And from my dependence on it.
So now I'm done. Two months, and I'm going to break this addiction. I'm going cold turkey off the bat, and I will beat this. And if my thesis is proved true, then I will remove myself from Facebook. Not completely, but I will monitor my time spent on Facebook. Maybe I'll only log in once every three days. Maybe once every two weeks. Maybe once a month.
This is my journal of sorts. My two months without Facebook, starts now.
February 7, 2011,
I woke up to rain. And, to my utter horror and disbelief, my first thought was of Facebook. I had already formulated a status before I realized that a status wasn't an option. And I was disgusted by how disappointed I was. Like a little kid being handed a teddy bear, only for it to be ripped away and given to someone else. How mean would you have to be to do that, by the way?!
But, as the day wore on, I – and others – noticed something. One, I was cheerful. As was pointed out to me, I was somewhat randomly happy, and I didn't know why. I was even humming. And anyone who knows me, knows that I do not hum. Ever. And secondly, I wanted to read. And that – that is a beautiful thing. After over nine months of the inability to finish a book, I finished one in an hour and a half, and couldn't wait to pick up the next one. To describe my joyousness with one word I'd have to say exhilaration. I wanted to hug someone.
And it gets better.
I wanted to write. Exhilaration doesn't describe how exultant I was. Wanting to write! And it's only been a day!!
So I did, and though it wasn't a big amount that I wrote [it was mainly editing] it was my words, and my desire to write that mattered. So, I'm happy.
Hopefully, it gets better. Hopefully, I will be able to write more, and that I'll be able to read more too. That would be AWESOME.
So yeah,. I'm taking two months off of Facebook, the social networking site that is ruining my life. This is not private, but somewhat personal, as in it's dealing with me as an actual person. So, uh, be nice. If anyone reads this, that is . And if you do, can you please, please, please review?? It makes me all warm and fuzzy inside XD
I'm sharing this because I want people to know what Facebook is doing to people all over the world. Mainly teenagers. It's not happening to everyone, of course, but I know many, many people who are also suffering from this compulsive addiction to Facebook. They just don't seem to care too much about their falling grades, falling attention span and falling intelligence. I'm going to openly admit that I have an addiction to Facebook. And this is kind of like my rehab. Facebook rehab. I like that ;D
Well, I hope you enjoy hearing about my withdrawals, moments of weakness, moments of happiness, and moments of downright glumness. It's a difficult thing, getting over an addiction ;]
PS. Please forigve me for mistakes. I don't often make them, but I am, as they say, only human. Contrary to popular belief, I am not a cyborg. Or a robot. Or a dictionary.