It is always good to end a journey on a Sunday. And thought it is greatly upsetting, I do find myself coming to the end of a journey today.
Seventy-seven days ago, I decided on an impulse to leave Facebook for two months - sixty-two days, to be precise. In the beginning, I blamed Facebook for my addiction, and for my failing mental prowess. I blamed Facebook for making me incompetent; for ruining all aspects of my life, aspects that I had once cherished. The ability to read, write and be intelligent; all gone. I blamed Facebook itself for making me addicted, for causing me to fall so very far from where I had once stood.
However, after a few awakenings from supportive people, I realised that the only I was to blame for my psychological addiction to the social networking site, Facebook. Only I was to blame for constantly caving in to temptation and to my withdrawals. Only I was to blame for continuously succumbing to Facebook to pass the time. Only I was to blame for allowing myself to fall to such a state.
Facebook is not the problem. I know this now, and I will never again presume to pass the blame onto Facebook for my own self-indulgence and lack of self control. Facebook is a helpful, convenient social networking site that helps people stay in touch when they normally would be unable to. I can no longer deny the usefulness of such a site. However, when the user begins to misuse such a site, when it becomes a backbone of sorts, necessary and impossible to remove, then it becomes a problem. This happened to me. I realised this, and with a confidence I didn't feel, I banned myself from Facebook.
This is the result.
I am reading again. Still not as much as I would like, but enough t once again be known as "a reader". When asked "what are your hobbies?" I no longer need to lie; I can honestly say reading. And I would trade in all the Facebook friends in the world to keep it like that.
I'm writing again. Perhaps I am not writing the book I am set to finish by December, but I am writing. FanFictions, short stories, flash fictions; I may not share all of them, but I have written many of them.
Once more I am watching TV, spending time with my family and friends, and I feel that I have developed as a person quite a bit in the past two months. I have developed new understandings, new opinions and new depths as a human being, and I now understand myself and others more than I did previously.
I have become a nicer person, a better friend, a fairer and more honest individual, and an all-round better person since is stopped using Facebook so much. I believe that the constant exposure to negatively charged emotions and thoughts creates a very pessimistically biased atmosphere, and that makes me irritated, angry or depressed. I wish people would cheer up.
But today was great! I think it fitting that my last day for this Journal was spent outdoors, breathing fresh air, and the wind in my hair, my feet in the water, and a praying mantis on my face. I was really feeling one with nature. Mainly because I couldn't get the mantis's leg out of my nose.
I had a lot of fun just relaxing with my family, and I only went on Facebook for forty-five minutes later at night to reply to a message and just check things over for the last time until Wednesday. In fact, I might skip Wednesday, and just go back on Facebook on Saturday's and Sundays, unless there's an emergency. Yeah, maybe I will do that.
So, an impulsive decision led to a life-altering experience that drastically changed my outlook, my behaviour and my mindset. And now it is over. My Journal is drawing to a close. Hopefully, so is my addiction.
This journey has been seventy-seven days long. This Journal, in Word, is seventy-seven pages long. Seventy-seven is my lucky number.
Wish me luck for the future!
I want to thank a few people. Quite a few people, actually.
Firstly, I want to thank all of the people who have read this. Not just the ones who have reviewed, but all who have ever read this.
I want to thank my reviewers. All of you: [in order of reviews] Marie413, paintslapped proclaimer, Mr. Random17, MistyRius, Nobody, reasonofchoice, Lady Lawless, dumpster girl, I Forgot What My Name Is/Fira Dawnce, BarleyCorn, BarbieReader, September 16th, NoNameGiven, Cassie, Someone, 443, novallet34, and Mia. Thank you to all of you. You have kept me going, long past even my expectations with your support, kind words and praise. YOU GUYS ROCK!
I'd like to thank my parents, for always sticking by me even through my crazed rants and weird theories.
I'd like to thank my best friend, who is also Mr. Random17, for sticking by me even after I completely went against our Anti-Facebook group and got an account.
I'd like to thank Mark Zuckerberg for creating Facebook and starting all of this. Without it, I'd still be the same person I was a year ago, for better or for worse.
I'd like to thank everyone, everywhere, who supported or demoralised me; to those of you who supported me: thank you, because without you I couldn't have continued. And to those of you who demoralised me: thank you also. For without you, I would never have had the determination to prove you wrong.
And thank you, to anyone else that I've forgotten!
All of you are amazing. And this is becoming quite long. Thanks for sticking with me until the very end.
QUOTE: I honestly have no idea what life equates to. And I'm not going to waste my life away trying to find an answer. No, instead I am going to live my life, and hope that in time the answer will come to me. – Kayla McCarter [that's me!]