Joyous Hell

Before this poem truly starts, before these words are spoke
One thing that must be understood, this one important note
That everything that's written here, every word is true
And all is felt by two shared souls, and yet just one point of view

I looked at my own eyes today, I looked, and then I saw
My eyes, I always thought I hid the sadness that they bore
I think that they're more grey than blue now, they used to be so tame
But then what does it really matter; both colours mean the same

I try not to dwell on this, this agony I feel
This constant ripping of my heart, this phantom blade so real
The flames that burn inside my skin, the flames that burn me cold
All of it an ice cold fever, and I just want to fold

I can't say what I truly want to, not in such set rhyme
Not when I must speak in rhythm, ink these words in time
But try I shall despite the hardship, for I need the escape
I need to know that I can see it, see the path I take

I hope that I can ever hope, yet I know in my heart
In the deepest depths of twisted wishes, I know that I can't
And then, why would I want to, when hope is only pain
My hope is simply who I love, my hope my only cage

For love is not a pink-flush trip, it's not just stars and dusks
Love is sharp and hot and deadly, love just asks too much
And for all the anguish love must cause me, all the times I fall
For the one who causes it, I would give it all

But now comes the tragic romance, the source of my denial
It may sound at first but linger, cliché is not my style
For now it seems like unrequited, that old awful tale
But be certain, that's not it, stay, I will regale

I only want to touch him, for my skin to meet his
And yes, I will admit it, to hold him in a kiss
Just to truly hear his voice, to look into his eyes
I want him to hear and know, I'll love him till I die

And beyond and long hereafter, pacing in the cell
The pen that this love stands around me, my willingness as well
The pain that glitters in my eyes does not belie my smile
Both are real and true and there, and side-by-side they lie

But it's worse than all of that, this soulmate that I chose
It's worse than everything you think, than those things you know
It's not that he can't see me, that to him I'm just a face
It's not that I don't have the courage, not that I'm a shade

It's worse than wanting someone, that I can't ever have
Than knowing he can't have me, it's worse than all of that
It's worse than wanting someone who is no longer there
It's worse because… well, listen close… he was never here

That's right, that's right, it sounds so false, it sound so childish
But someone who was never real; he is my only wish
So now you know my deepest cut, the wound that never heals
Inflicted by love, and soothed by hope that I can never feel

Now when you first caught sight of this, when first you saw this song
When you wondered how the hell this thing could be so long
You heard me say, and it was true, that I was not alone
That there were two of us in this, which has not yet been shown

But also said was this, I quote, 'from one point of view'
So when it's said from 'I' and 'me', it's only sort of true
It's true that what is really meant, what's meant is 'we' and 'us'
But then we are of single mind, and we are one in trust

Our hearts are one in all of this, in our red tear-stained grief
And of just one lone understanding, we each hold a piece
But now this line, it comes from me, and comes from me alone
For I am Shock, and they are mine; my love, my Pharaohs

And once again we come full circle, we swap over now
Without one word of harsh transition, our instincts do abound
But now this line, it comes from me, and comes from me alone
I am Shadow, and they are mine; my Thief King, my Ryou

Yes, we may be separate people, we may have different loves
But we are bound eternally, by all that's said above
Unable ever to be happy, unable to lie
Fleeting joy that rings so true, while inside we die

Pain and pleasure, who can tell, they all just seem the same
We love them, love them all too much, and they are not to blame
If anything, it's our own fault, we should just let them go
But as much it keeps hurting us, we just don't want to

All we crave, all we desire is all we cannot have
These words so say what we cannot, we're hurt and we are glad
Sleep becomes our only refuge, sleep becomes our dreams
And the visions hold our torment, love ripping at the seams

We type these words with scarlet ink, an ink our very own
Our blood a flower blooming love, that they can never know

Shock & Shadow


Not too much to say, except that this poem is about myself and my mate Shadow, who is on here as Blade-Of-Shadows. That's about it.

Depressing, isn't it. -.- Anyway, thoughts anyone? Were the rhymes ok? Do I need to fix any gaping mistakes? Please give me something to work off here. Thankies for reading!

-gives free candies-