I'm in my final year of uni and this is apparently what happens when I do dissertation work for a couple of hours, turns out I finish one-shots I find in the depths of my computer :)

Hope you enjoy, even if you don't it was a good break from work for me! :P

Feedback is loved like the pancakes smothered in toffee sauce I shall soon be shovelling down my throat.

Rated T for frequent swearing, naughty words, innuendo, talk of horny teenagers, but not M because it's just talk – nothing saucy actually happens. (Sorry about that.)


"Seriously what is with you? You ask me round to talk and then you barely say a word all night. What gives?"

"I want to tell you something okay?"

"Go for it. Before I'm thirty."

Lewis is never one to mince his words around me. Sure, he's a lot shyer in front of others but with me he says what he means and will always give an honest opinion. He doesn't give a shit what comes out of his mouth usually, around me anyway. I on the other hand, don't give a shit wherever I am.

Yet here he was, sat on his desk chair deliberately avoiding whatever the hell he wanted to talk about in favour of spinning round so much it's making me dizzy.

"It's about who I fancy."

Interest peaked.

"Ooooh, are you finally going to grow the balls to ask them out?"


"Going to tell me who it is so I can do it for you?"

"Absolutely not."

"Seriously, nobody would ever turn you down. You're hot stuff." I wink and he rolls his eyes.

He growls. "Dude let me fucking talk."

"Oh yeah sure, now you want to."

"It's just well, it's not a girl. It's a guy. I like a guy."

His look of absolute nervousness is quickly replaced by relief. Presumably from finally telling me. It turns to confusion when I let out a burst of glee. "Yes!"

I tackle him into a hug so fast he nearly falls off his chair. He looks dazed.

"You finally told me."

"Finally? You knew?"

"I'm your best friend of course I know."

"You can not be serious."

"Do I look surprised?"

"How long have you known?"

"Maybe a year? I dunno." I go back to lounging on his bed, the picture opposite of the rigid boy sat stiffly in his chair. I genuinely have known about his sexuality for ages, it wasn't exactly hard to figure out. "You really aren't as subtle as you like to think. Seeing you eye hump a good couple of guys in various scenarios helped clue me in. Your lack of interest in girls also helped. You're so goddamn uncomfortable all the time, especially when we talk about certain things. Sometimes, when I'd point out a hot guy, I swear it looked like you wanted to agree with me. Some of the things you blush at are also quite telling. You know, just stuff."

He looks stunned. Like I've just cracked his super secret spy code. The only trouble is, spies don't eye up their enemies when they think their partners aren't watching. Spies are discreet, Lewis is as discreet as a bus.

I'm so glad he finally owned up to being gay, because now he's halfway to being my boyfriend. Sure I had the hots for my best mate – but I, unlike many, refused to be pathetic about it – I was going to tell him, I was going to kiss him and he was going to like it.

If he'd had the balls I could have done this much sooner. But I let him come to me when he was ready rather than screw a hasty relationship into the ground from the start, so I waited…and just perved on him in silence.

"I hate you. Why didn't you tell me you knew? You could have saved me all this! You are such a wanker."

"Because for some reason, you dickhead, you didn't feel comfortable admitting it yet. So I left it alone."

"So you're not freaked out?"

"Well considering I'm partial to a bit of cock myself I'm going to refrain from condemning you to hell. I've known for nearly a year and in that time I've probably touched your dick on average about once a month. And only half of those times were accidents." His face colours instantly and I smirk and have to point it out. "There's that blush again!" It deepens and I want to jump him.

"See this is where I should thank you for being such a supportive best friend but you're just a bitch."

"In which case, allow me to contribute to confession time."

"Oh god."

"There's another reason I know you like dick."

The smirk that lines my lips is making him apprehensive, and I love it. "What?"

"You left me alone with your computer one too many times."

"Oh god."

"I found your porn. The password you use for everything else wasn't best suited for that particular folder."

"I'm going to kill you. I actually am."

"You called it porn! How was I supposed to resist looking! Fuck, that's like leaving me with a huge cake and telling me not to touch it. You know how much I like cake." I wink at him and he crosses his room especially to thump me in the arm.

"I think you need to go before you give me a heart attack."

"No don't kick me out! We have so much to talk about! What's your type? What boys do you like? Have you been with one before? I swear to fuck if you've missed out any embarrassing first kiss stories I want filling in right now. Who is the first guy you liked? Is this why you made us go and see that boy band you like so much?"

I've waited an entire year for this and man was it worth it.

"One more thing…bondage. Really?" This time he hits me in the eye. "Fuck! I knew you liked bondage I didn't think you liked the whole pain thing too, shit."

He looks at me, his cheeks burning, and sniffs. "I'm only half sorry."

"Is your other half aroused?"

"Oh god. Every single bondage joke you've ever made just made much more sense."

"I have to go now anyway, gotta get back for dinner. Listen, I'll see you tomorrow yeah, and thanks for telling me."

"Thanks for not caring. And for letting me know I need to change my password on my computer."

"Spoil sport."


There's a slight chance that I've been into town today and visited the adult gift shop. There's also a chance I spent longer in there that I should have, but oh well. Right now, me and my purchase are on our way to Lewis's house.

He's going to kill me.

I walk into his room unannounced and greet him with a simple "Hey homo."

"Shut the fuck up! Mum and Dad will hear you." He closes the door and I quirk my eyebrows.

"I figured it out, what makes you think they haven't?"

"Because I'm presuming had they been through my porn folder some sort of parental talk would have followed."

"Speaking of which…" I throw the gift-wrapped box at him and smirk. "Open it, fucker."

He's the kind of guy that would die of embarrassment from going into a sex shop.

He's a shit guy to be honest.

When we get it on he can bottom.

Sure enough, as he opens the box and a pair of sturdy, steel and furry lined handcuffs fall out his reaction is priceless.

His cheeks turn bright red, the colour stretching right up to his chocolate hair, and his eyes – a brighter shade of green than usual, show he's pretty much mortified. But, his mouth is telling. It's pulling at the corner of his mouth a bit and I can tell that he cant decide whether to laugh or not.

"Relax it's not like I got the pink ones."

I'm too busy laughing my arse off to realise he's coming straight at me, and I end up falling over his shoes in my hasty attempt to get away. He kicks me in the side and I grab the bend of his knee, pulling him down beside me with a thud.


"Oi! They cost me a fair bit of money you ungrateful little tosser."

"Why would you buy these?" He brings them up in front of his face to examine them and I kind of wish he ends up dropping them on his face because it would be funny as fuck.

"Well, to tease you, to show you that you can stop hiding what you like around your best friend and most importantly, because it was fucking funny."

"I'm sorry it took me so long to tell you. It's not like I ever thought you'd hate me for it…I just, it's hard to come to terms with I suppose. I feel like an idiot now."

"Come on, I bet you feel better for it, getting it off your chest and all."


"Why don't you just tell whoever it is that you like? Seriously even if they're straight, you should go for it, get an honest answer and then you can stop worrying."

"What if its not worth it?"

"It will be, anyone who acts like a twat over this isn't worth it anyway."

"You really mean that?"


We stand up and brush ourselves off but ten seconds later he's shoved me over again and I land dazed on the bed to find him pinning me down. He's cuffed one of my wrists in the handcuffs, loops the chain round the metal of his headboard and cuffs my other hand leaving me chained to the bed.

"What the fuck!"

He moves back as I start to violently kick and his face gives nothing away.

"I. It's…Look, I -"

"Jesus Christ Lewis! What? You can tell me anything."

"I don't know how you're going to react okay? I have one more thing left to tell you."

In that instance I forget about being handcuffed to his bed, I look at him intensely and I can feel my heartbeat quicken and I pray to a god I don't believe in that he's going to tell me what I think he is.

"The guy that I like. It's you."

I sigh in relief and grin at his confession, the words "I know" leave my mouth, only it seems he left the room before he could hear them…leaving me handcuffed to his bed.


Of course I knew it was me that he liked, like I told him, there are signs that he leaves that someone with their eyes closed facing the opposite direction couldn't miss.

For the past few months ever since I had figured it out I had moved on to full on flirting and injecting innuendo anywhere possible into our conversations. Trying to encourage him to grow some balls and feed the idea that yes, I would defiantly be interested in getting it on with him was something I quite enjoyed. Only he's clearly a dumbshit as he's run off and left like a little pussy rather than talking this through with me. When really, I'm not that interested in talking anyway.

I hadn't made a move on him on the basis that it would probably give him a heart attack. The only trouble is months of knowing that these months was just time wasted where I could have been getting busy with him is frustrating as fuck.

He is such an idiot. Months of sexual tension because he can't admit he's gay.

Truth be told, I don't even know where the self issues come from, his parents wouldn't care – in a good way, not an they wouldn't even notice if he had a sex change way, and he knows I'm bisexual.

To be honest that's probably part of the reason why. He's watched me have a lot of shit thrown my way over my preferences, shit that I don't care about, shit that I can handle and shit that's gone off behind my back that because he's my best mate he's had to deal with instead. I've always been perfectly open about my preferences and I absolutely refuse to let anyone make me feel like shit over the fact that I find vaginas revolting. He on the other hand, doesn't share my confidence. So I know he's had to take shit on my behalf and he wouldn't tell me about it in case I got upset. Naturally he wouldn't want to tell me that the reason he's in the closet is because he doesn't want the shit I've gotten over the same thing in case he offends me. In honesty, where I can handle stuff like that – he can't. He's much better at the feelings stuff where I'm quite good at punching narrow-minded twatbags in the face.

At least soon enough when he gets his act together I get to play his knight in shining armour. Only I'll be naked. And probably handcuffed again under very different circumstances - unless I've chewed my own arm off by then.

Thinking about this was steadily leaving me with another problem, one I couldn't do a damn thing about with both my hands behind my head.

Why did I have to be blessed with a fit best friend? Seriously. His body is gorgeous, not that the lazy bastard does a damn thing to earn it apart from walking to the shops to buy junk to eat. But, it's his hair that I really like, its all shaggy and –

Oh god. I need to stop this line of thought right now.

I let my eyes roam his room and a laugh escapes my mouth as I realise that that wouldn't help either – he has band pictures all over his room, none of whom were girl bands. How he was surprised that I knew he was gay is beyond me.

A solution to my growing problem walked into the room and left me simultaneously deflated and mortified.

That solution being his dad walking in the room.

Just brilliant.

He wastes no time in bursting out in laughter, and what's more is, he takes a damn picture on his phone. Technology will be the death of me. Unless, dickhead loses the key and I starve to death.

He smirks, just like Lewis does, "I'm gonna print that out and put it on his wall one day."

I can't help but laugh.

"So. You guys can get up to whatever you want, but I'm pretty sure he left about twenty minutes ago in his car…"

"He took the damn key with him."

"I'll give him a ring, one sec."

"You want to explain this? Is it what I think it is, is my son finally ready to admit there's a reason other than friendship he follows you around so much?"


A frown passes across his face and my heart sinks, I was so sure his parents would be cool about this – that he would have the one support network I had never had.

"Urm you look really annoyed. I didn't think you'd care if he were gay." It's hard to talk to his Dad in a lecturing tone when I'm now a part of his son's bedroom furniture but I think I manage it. I knew I hadn't crossed a boundary yet, but I would if they tell me they're actually homophobes – Lewis will be glad he's out the house.

"Fuck you." He grins quickly, "it's just me and his Mum have had a bet on about when you'd get together and now I owe her dinner."

"Unlucky." I smirk. "What did you bet?"

"That he wouldn't do it until after his nineteenth birthday."

I let out a low whistle. "Oh god thank god you lost - waiting nearly another year would have killed me."

Downstairs we hear the front door open, his dad turns to leave but addresses me first, "I like you Dan, you know that. Everyone in the family does, you have our support, just make you take care of him."

"Of course."

He winks. "Oh, and be safe."

I need to be unlocked as soon as possible, or I'm going to have a heart attack and some knobhead will put that I had one whilst being chained to a bed on my gravestone.

Enter a very timid best-friend-slash-future-boyfriend.


"Lewis. Come here."

He obeys, like a scolded little puppy, and I kick him in the head.

"Oh god you're mad at me."

"I'm not mad at you dickhead, even if you did tie me up, leave and make me talk to your Dad."

His face pales.

"Lewis look at me, your parents are fine with this okay?"


I smile. He is such a sap.

"Now if you please!" I rattle the headboard, "this isn't quite how I imagined these being used. The prime example being we're both still fully clothed. Where the hell did you even go?"

"After I jumped in my car I ended up going to buy some ice-cream and sort of forgot you weren't with me so I brought a tub instead to bring back and defiantly forgot I had left you tied up…"

He leans over me with the tiny key, and he just smells so good that I ignore everything I had ever sad about taking things slow with him, and I lean up and catch his lips with mine.

I let it be quick, just in case he's stopped breathing but it seems that he's stolen some confidence from somewhere because soon enough he's sat gently on top of me refusing point blank to open the handcuffs and his lips are inches from mine.

"Did you do that because you -"

"I did it because you're sexy, I'm horny and there's a reason I've been desperate for you to get your arse out the closet. I refuse to have an entire conversation about this. You like me, I like you, fucking kiss me or untie me before I get another boner."


"Kiss me or I'll head butt you."

The kiss is soft, the first one he's ever initiated so I let him control it because I'm going to be controlling him for most of our relationship. I can feel his confidence grow as the kisses deepen and I know any doubts he may have been having over his sexuality are fast evaporating.

He uncuffs me eventually and in-between kisses manages to admit they were a damn good investment. Which is good because next time, he's he one getting chained to the bed.

I'm just glad I sprung for the furry ones.


I fail at kissing scenes, but hey, handcuffs are fun right?