Pink & Black

I was the girl who wore pink everyday. I am outwardly your typical blue eyed, blonde haired girl. I highlighted my hair pink, my shoes were pink, my room was painted pink, eventually, I managed to get a pink cell phone. I had cute, curly blonde hair that was always up in high pigtails. Even into high school, I retained my signature hairstyle. I was always short, and I was always ridiculously thin. I was often called scrawny.

My bestie was virtually opposite. She loved black and spiders and skulls and remote controlled cars. She tended to ignore my frilly pink skirts in favor of some pen that buzzed your thumb. We would go over each other's houses to play. At our own house, we let the other person choose what game to play. So, whenever she was at mine, we'd play Hot Wheels or tag. Over hers, we'd play with Barbies or Hopscotch. Though paler than me, she wasn't see through. She had a sort of boyish look about her. I thought she was really pretty. I thought it really worked in her favor, she looked cute, though she never agreed. She said that she looked like a boy. Only a boy. Nothing like a girl. All through elementary school, she had long black hair that hung to her lower back.

After seventh grade, though, she hacked most of it off with a piece of glass. I watched in horror as the beautiful black hair gracefully fell to the hard wood of her floor, none of it hitting the rug . That was the day she told me. Though I don't remember how we met anymore, I remember this vividly.

Staring at the abandoned hair on the floor, words stumbled out of my mouth.

"C-Christian! Why would you do that? Your hair…" We'd been distant for a while and after not being quite as close, her cutting her hair out of the blue like that was…., for lack of a better word, eerie.

"I looked too girly with it." she replied.

I looked up at her, confused. Her face was looking nervously back at me.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I…." she started "Kei, I want to be a boy."

"What do you mean?" I said confused.

"I... I'm transgender." she said blushing furiously looking anywhere but at me.

I looked at her stunned. I looked away. I looked back at her. We sat in silence.

"Are you okay with that, Kei?" she finally asked.

"I-I-I…" I started trying to make my mouth form words.

I took a breath and started again, "Yes. I'm okay with anything you're okay with… that won't hurt you."

"Really? God, I thought that was going to be so much worse. I was so afraid that you would stop talking to me." Christian said clearly ecstatic that I wasn't freaking out. She celebrated a little too soon.

I suddenly felt a huge shock, if I wasn't careful, I knew I was going to start hyperventilating.

"I wouldn't do that…" I said trying to look away from her.

"Kei?" she asked looking at me, noticing something was amiss.

"I have to go to the bathroom." I said quickly, fleeing the room. I ran down the hall and allowed myself to cry only after the door closed behind me. I sank back against the door, slowly lowering myself to the ground. My breathing became erratic and my chest started to hurt, but I didn't pass out, though I was probably close.

"Um, Kei?" Christian knocked from outside the door.

"Yes, Christian?" I managed to get out relatively clearly.

"A-are you really okay?"

"Yeah, just give me a minute, okay?" I said, my voice cracking around the word just.

"Okay." I heard her sit down on the other side of the door.

"I'm sorry." she said quietly.

I pretended not to hear.

That summer break was easily the most interesting, frustrating, and longest I've ever experienced. I had to retrain myself to say he rather than she. Christian didn't throw a fit at first, but later on he got really angry when I slipped. He started boob binding even though he was barely an A cup to begin with. He started dressing distinctly more masculine and by the time school started, he, had we not been besties, would have fooled me. I would have thought he was a boy.

At school, students didn't noticed. It was freaky as hell. A lot of them had been with classes with Christian since elementary school! He becomes a guy over the summer and they just go, 'oh, nice, you cut your hair.' Really? Was I the only one who didn't expect it from him or did they think he was still she? Or did they even think he was a boy to begin with? Or… were they just ignoring it? I wasn't around enough to tell how people really acted around him because we were in totally different classes except for orchestra. That year was kind of a blur. My life went school, flute practice, ballet, hang out with Christian, eat, sleep, repeat.

Teachers, unlike the students, noticed immediately. I got called to the office because they knew I was his friend and they wanted to ask me before they insulted him. He'd already told the teachers that he was a guy, and planned to continue being a guy for as long as he could foresee, but they wanted to know if his friends were doing it, or if he was playing them. It had something to do with the guidance counselor, but it never amounted to much as far as I know, so it left my radar.

Now, I have a confession. I… had a... crush... on Christian. I'd been crushing on him long before he was a he. That's part of why I was so upset when he told me he was transgender at first. I'd spent so long trying to come to terms with the fact that I might be a lesbian and he just up and tells me that he's becoming a guy. I was this close from telling him and I lost the chance. I decided to wait for him to say something about our relationship. I wanted him to man up and tell me. What I didn't know was that it'd be so fucked up waiting. That's probably why I blew up at him that one day.

He had become better friends with some guys from school. He never got really close with any of them, but they hung out a little. They got him into MW2 and Assassin's Creed, which he, in turn, got me into. I quickly eclipsed him in MW2, but I could never quite get the hang of Assassin's Creed, so I got him into Tekken and kicked his ass in that, too. I always beat him with that little Asian girl who he soon grew an impassioned hatred for.

"You can have much better friends than me." he said one day while we were playing MW2. His room had slowly changed over the year. It was messier, but still fairly neat. He put up more band posters around the room. Within a couple months it had been painted a dark blue.

"You're right. Ones who don't suck at this." I countered while sneaking up behind me from atop a cliff. He looked over at me.

"I bet you love me- that's why you hang out with a confused loser like me." he said joking.

I quickly sniped him on the game before putting the controller on his bed slowly, rage barely concealed.

"Ah, you killed me again. Hey, why'd you stop moving? I'm going to kill you!" he said with his eyes glued to the screen. It was the straw that broke the camels back. He'd been joking about us going out, for a while now, but never actually asked me how I felt or anything. And it slowly was pissing me off.

"Maybe I DO love you Christian! God, you're so fucking clueless." I said throwing his pillow at him.

"What? What did I do?" he asked catching the pillow. He was responding to throwing the pillow, not what I said. That was the problem, he refused to consider the fact that I liked him, something similar to this had happened before.

"You didn't do anything other than be an idiot." I answered my anger turning into sadness.

"I'm leaving." I said suddenly and tried to flee the room, but he easily beat me there.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Kei, wait. What'd I do?" I kept my eyes trained on the door knob, I didn't want look him in the eye.

"Get out of my way." I said, ignoring his question and trying to push him out the way.

"Mikeila." he said. I looked at him. He never called me Mikeila. Ever. I can't remember him ever calling me Mikeila before that or after that to this day.

"Mikeila, you need to tell me." he said softly, his eyes pleading. I couldn't deal with that right now so I mustered all my strength.

"Get out of my way!" I said finally shoving him from my path and fleeing the room.

I ran down the central staircase, grabbed my bike and was on it before I closed the door. I rode home wondering how he'd react to that. I didn't even want to think about how I'd act around him at school tomorrow. Like nothing happened? Like that would happen.

It was about nine when I got home. I let myself in and immediately saw my mom sitting on the couch asleep. I went over and kissed her forehead before going to bed. The last thought on my mind was that look in Christian's eyes.


So... review plz, I just kinda want to know what ppl liked. This is the first original work I've posted. (also, this is something that was inspired by something that happened in my life. Our names are changed and a couple things are embellished, but it's still about the same. So, don't go saying, "That doesn't happen in real life." because it does. Bastards.)