It gets harder to write, maybe it's the stress, the long winter, whatever. I just hope it's not permanent. A word exercise I tried. One of my pet peeves is when people stare at you, and think you don't know it, or just being stared at, period.


Speak Till it's Broken

February 5th, 2011

Pick a word.
Nine.
Nine, nine people, persons,
Speaking, talk, talking,
Laughing,
Loving. Lie.
Liar, cheater, begger,
Worthless, rotten, apple,
Stinking, compost.
Soil, rich, dark,
Growth, life,
Tress, vines, woods,
Leaves, veins, lines
Clear, crystalline, pulsing, blood,
Cardio, run, run, runner.

Trail running, nature, life,
Alone, serenity,
Happiness. Air, fresh air, empty,
Ice, cold air, frozen,
Lungs, can't breathe,
Air. It hurts to breathe.
Stop, motion, stop. Stop.
Feel, touch,
Thud thud thud,
Broken branches, broken ankle,
Snap.

Step one two three four,
Step one, step, step.
Trip, dirt, the smell of earth.
Stench, stink,
Perfume, pretty , poison.
Choke, choking on air,
Lifeless, lively,
Empty, smiling, laughing, coughing,
Snoring, snorting, dying,
Drug induced,
Comatic, comatose,
Deathly, slumber,
Sleeping, shall we?
Sleeping, tired, so tired,
Exhaustion,
Please don't follow me.
Exhaustion, can't keep my eyes…..
Smile, bell, ringing, tolling,
Screaming, ears screaming,
Stop it. Stop.
Bleeding, open and bleeding out,
Onto the floor, trickle, trickle,
Run like a river,
Slither, bleed, fill out,
Hide away, slip under.

Dried, red and dark,
Black, black, darkness,
Beneath the copper bed,
Stuck, let me go.
I'm stuck.
Office, office chair,
The lady speaks,
Problem, problem,
Tell me about your day,
Smiling, sarcastic, narcissistic,
Compassionate, not.
Silly, unhelpful, unwanted,
Neglected, orphan, village, wanted,
Find me.
Broken fingers, stones and sticks and water,
And screams, like the waves,
Wave goodbye,
See you.
Goodbye.
Walking, step step stepping away,
away and away and whydon'tyoufuckinggo?

Alone, alone and a cell,
Iron bars, bar- Barbie
Doll, call me doll face,
Mechanical, you're my mechanical boy,
Smile for me,
Take a picture,
Snapshot, snap, snap,
Take it in, pretty face.
Staring, staring,
Like clockwork, gears and steam and things,
Tell me why.
Stop looking, don't look at me,
Whathefuckareyoustaringat?
A machine, empty machine,
Tell me I'm broken.
Stop staring!
Why do you do this?
Care, don't care,
Can't, won't.
Refuse, neglect forget and never ever never.

I could never.