"When I was a young boy. My father took me into the city. To see a marching band. He said, "Son, when you grow up. Would you be the savior of the broken. The beaten and the damned?? He said, "Will you defeat, Your demons and all the non-believers, The plans that they have made? Because one day, I'll leave you. A phantom to lead you in the summer join the Black Parade" - Welcome To The Black Parade
I remember that it was raining. I remember because later, my butler griped that he had gotten soaked from holding the umbrella over me. I didn't cry that day. But I sure scowled a lot. I scowled as I put on the little black suit. I scowled in the limo on the way to the cemetery. I scowled all through the eulogy. I scowled as they played her favorite songs. I scowled as the gave me a white rose to put on her casket. I didn't scowl, however, when I layed the flower on her casket. I couldn't. That would be just do disrespectful.
"Go on son. Put it on so we can leave." I scowled a lot at my father. I was bitter, I'll admit it. I didn't like my father. Even at only 10 years old, I knew he was everything I didn't want to be. I think my parent's marrige was one of convience. He was mr. Big Business. She was trophy wife with birthing hips. She gave him a son, which is all he wanted.
I don't get that actually. Why do all CEO types want sons? It always turns out the kid grows up hating him, so why bother having children in the first place?
I digress.
That day was the beginning to the darkest days of my life. That day is so clear in my memory, but all the time before that, I only recall my memories as if I were looking at faded poleroid. I can make out what it is, but not clearly.
I remember that my mom was a good mother. She was a housewife, stayed home. She took care of me. I was a freakin scary kid, now that I think about it. Always finding dead birds and whatnot, bringing them home. Always getting scraped up. Always scaring the other little kids.
She deaalt with me.
But now she was gone.
Looking back, I realize that the moment I layed that rose on her casket was the trigger to my fucked up so called life.