Doubt

Understanding.

I'm not sure if I understand that.

Especially not when there's a glimpse of what

Could Be

Conflicting with my thoughts of what

Ought-to-Be

And suddenly, I'm questioning my roles with both of them.

I don't like to question, but

The time has come, and while I'm

Caught-Up in my romance,

I kind of want to ask the other boy to dance,

And I'm not sure, it has

Dissipated—my certainty, I mean—

Following all the things I don't want to hear—

That maybe I have doubts about how I

Want things to turn out, and

The insanity is burning,

Burning, burning, faster than I realise the flame is travelling

I know I love him; had I not been a dancer,

He would have stained my sheets; I'm past

Any point of returning.

But something now plants that

Unknown diligence, and despite

Constant vigilance, I find that

I fall short of my own security.

This frightens me above all things.

ELT

20 Jan '09

14:58