Warning: Strong language.


I need help. I don't know what to do. Everything seems to be getting on top of me and I just can't handle it anymore. I can't believe you would just leave me like this. You promised you'd always love me, always be there. But surprise surprise you're just like everyone else in my miserable pathetic excuse for a life. You fucking left me. Abandoned me more like it. Something you promised you'd never do. You know that I hate people getting close for this reason, I always drive them away. I guess I'm not allowed love, friends, anything like that. I'm destined to be alone forever, and it saddens me to no end. I don't deserve anyone. I'm a horrible person and yet you poked, prodded, insisted that you were different, that you actually gave a fuck until I gave in. I gave you everything, told you things about me only I knew, things I never dreamed I'd share with anyone. I gave you EVERYTHING! I kept nothing from you despite how much it killed me to share so much of myself with someone else. You just kept pushing and pushing and I let you because I opened myself up enough to let me love you. I started to relax around you, stopped thinking you were going to run from me like everyone else. I was actually HAPPY! I hadn't been happy for such a long time and you, with all your fake, empty promises made me into a person, gave me a life. I told you not to go that night; I told you the weather was too bad. As usual though you knew better, I was wrong. You were always trying to prove me wrong. I begged you, d'you remember? I actually got down on my knees and fucking PLEADED. Me, who hates showing people how she feels, put my pride and everything else aside to show you how worried I was. How much I loved you. But all you did was laugh, pick me up, put me on the couch and tell me you'd be ten minutes at most. Then you left. Forever. Who was right? It's not something I want to gloat about, but I told you it was too dangerous. So before you go telling me you never wanted to leave me, just shove it. You walked out that door and onto that bike willingly. It wasn't even important. A fucking DVD. That was it. A DVD. We have fucking hundreds of them. The last thing you ever said to me was not to be so dramatic. Well look how things turned out, my dramatics, 'hysterics' as you also called them were right. If you'd listened to me you'd still be here. And I wouldn't hate you.