Landon flopped into his seat, groaning. It was time for the talent show. Great.
The talent show was never really a talent show. It was more like a show for talentless who wanted more attention.
Oh, sure, every once in a while somebody good would come along, but… for the most, it was just a show for attention whores.
"Isn't it great?" his aide cried, sitting next to him. "I love the talent show!"
"You would…" Landon grumbled.
"Is this another, 'I'm blind, woe is me!', type o' shit?" Landon's aide snorted.
No, Landon grumbled in his mind. It's because you're an annoying little bitch man.
Landon supposed he was, too, though. He complained a lot, hated the human race, and was absolutely sick of life. In fact, if his grandparent's weren't such good people, he would have ended his pointless life a long time ago.
Landon really did feel like his life was pointless. No friends, his family was so poor they could barely take care of him, being blind…
Landon would hardly say his life sucked. Oh no, it didn't suck at all. However, it was so utterly… so utterly… the same. Nothing changed. It was boring.
As he listened to his aide (whose name he hadn't even bothered to learn) blabbering on about how great the kid was that was on stage right now, he allowed his mind to wander.
Such a strange thing to see. Er, not see. Whatever.
Landon had heard people describe what blackness looked like, which most people seemed to think he saw, and that wasn't it. He didn't see anything. There was nothing.
Must be hard for people who can see to understand, Landon mused to himself. The thought of seeing absolutely nothing. No darkness. No light. Nothing.
He shrugged, yawning. Whatever. He didn't wanna see, anyway. It led people to making assumptions, most of which were wrong.
He smiled a little. He could judge people for who they were. That was a good thing that came out of being blind. He knew what people were like based upon their personality rather than their outward appearance.
Sadly, though, everyone at his school were douchebags, so not much of that went to use.
Landon hated people. He really did. He only liked his grandparents. And that was barely.
He closed his eyes, feeling them getting tired. Ahhh, still nothing. He sometimes wished that when he closed his eyes, he would see something... like blackness. It would be kinda nice.
Landon slowly felt himself slipping into a half-awake, half-asleep state. He didn't sleep much last night. He had been up really late listening to music and messing with the latest sculpture he was making.
As he just started to doze off, he heard something that woke him right back up. He swore that it sounded... sounded... too heavenly and beautiful to human. It couldn't possibly be a voice or an instrument. It was too stunning.
He sat forward, trying to listen. It... it was a voice. He could hear words. And a piano. But the voice... god, the voice! Everything about it was absolutely perfect.
Landon started to feel faint as he listened to the voice. It was the most amazing thing he had ever heard. He never wanted it to end.
... it eventually did, much to his disappointment.
The entire auditorium screamed, standing up and clapping. Landon was no exception, for once. He was so shocked and happy and just... moved! He had never cried over anything that was happy before, so this was a first. Three tears fell down his face.
He flopped back in his seat after a moment, trying to take in what just happened as he rubbed the tears away. Stupid tears. What was up with that angelic voice, anyway?
"Landon, we're going," the aide shouted above the noise of the blabbering students. "That was the last of the performances."
Landon got up after a second, following his aide. Once they were in the slightly quieter hallway, he asked, "Hey, who was the last person? Who was singing?"
"Huh?" the aide asked blankly. "How do you not reco- oh, yeah, you're blind."
No shit, Sherlock, Landon growled in his mind. Just tell me.
"That was Katsu Keneko," his aide said, and Landon could tell through his voice that he was grinning in a perverted way. "She's the hottest girl in school, and she's a total slut. At least fifty percent of the guys here have slept with her, and ten percent of the girls, too."
"... are you serious?" Landon managed out.
"Yup," his aide continued. "She's at every good party, and she's an alcoholic. She's a total bitch to a lot of girls, and nobody really likes her. She's just got a huge following because she's got the sexiest bod in school."
Landon winced. "Fuck."
"The hell was that for?" his aide snorted.
"No reason," Landon grunted, his mind returning to the voice. How could such a beautiful voice belong to anything but an angel? And yet... somehow... it seemed that the girl who it belonged to was more like a demon than an angel.
Yet... it was strange. Landon had never felt interest in any human being before. He had gotten to the point where he assumed that he was asexual since no woman or man had ever sparked his fire. He had never been interested in either gender before, and yet...
WTF kind of a name was that, anyway? Like, Chinese or some crap? Whatever. Didn't matter. He'd practice saying that weird "tsu" noise later.
Anyway. He was... slightly interested in this girl. This girl who was supposedly a huge brat, and yet... she could move the most sarcastic and stony boy to tears with her voice. What kind of a woman was she?
Landon's interest in her quietly grew, occasionally asking people he sort of (he didn't know their names, but they knew his) knew about her. She was in the same grade as him, being just about four or five months older than him. She was Japanese (how was he supposed to know the difference between Chinese and Japanese?!), and had the hottest bod in school.
Which Landon really didn't care about. However, it was, like, one out of five things that he heard about her. She was sexy and a jerk to people, and that seemed like that was all people really cared about.
Landon didn't care how he looked. His light-blond hair was always messy, he wore whatever clothes were easiest to grab, and he only kept his body physically active because his grandparents didn't want their little boy to be a chubby little boy. That's right, grandma wanted to hug a buff teen, not a fat one!... th- the hell... ?
Okay, time to get back on track. Landon didn't care about how he looked or how anybody looked. What he did care about, slowly slowly, was what Katsu thought of him. Sexual attraction would probably be the only way he would even have a chance, and he had no clue whether he was sexually attractive or not. His grandparents assured him that he was a handsome boy, but that just made him wonder more.
He decided that, although it felt degrading, he would have to ask a girl. Landon didn't know any girls, and he wasn't interested in any. Besides Katsu, of course. But... in order to figure it out... ugh.
One of his aide's was a girl! She had tits! Landon remembered accidentally grabbing them! Yeahhh, he could ask her!
So he did.
She seemed caught of guard, then replied, stuttering a bit, "I- I thought you didn't care about that stuff..."
"I don't," he replied. "But I'm sure other people do, and I do care what one person in this school thinks."
"O- okay... so... do you want me to describe you?" his aide questioned.
"Uh, sure, whatever," Landon said.
"Okay..." she took in a deep breath. "You're tall. Like, you don't tower above everybody, but you are tall enough that it's noticeable. You have really... like, almost tan skin. Like you hang out outside a bunch."
"Let me continue."
"You have wavy blond hair... like, not ugly wavy like some guys, but cute wavy. It falls into your eyes a lot, but you don't really move it. You've also got really... really cool eyes. They're light blue to the point of being gray. Like... like storms... but... it's so strange to look at them... they... look so lifeless... and yet... yet... so much more full of life than any guy's eyes I've seen... gosh..."
Landon felt his aide's hesitant fingers brush up on his cheek, touching just below his eye. Okay, this was getting kind of awkward. All he had wanted was for her to tell him if he was hot or not, and now she was going into depth about his pretty his eyes were and stroking his cheek and all that crap...
"Ah, so- sorry!" she suddenly stuttered, pulling her hand away. "T- to answer y- your question, yes, y- you are... u- uh, a very attractive guy. You kinda look like a stereotypical surfer dude, especially when you're wearing your sunglasses."
"Oh, great, I look like an idiot!" Landon complained, throwing his arms in the air.
She giggled. "You're funny, too. Whatever girl you like, she's lucky. Even if you're antisocial and don't even know my name."
"Offended?" he asked.
"A bit, but you don't know anyone's name, so not extremely," she said.
"Good enough for me," Landon grunted.
With new and regained confidence in his looks, Landon began working on them a bit more. He didn't just wear whatever was comfortable, he wore what was semi-comfortable and slightly fashionable. He wore his sunglasses more often, just because he could.
He also started socializing a bit. And by socializing, I mean that he learned people's names and listened to what they were saying in class. He listened to gossip, hearing lots of rumors about lots of people... but he listened mainly for Katsu's name.
The best place he heard Katsu's name? His gym class, which he shared with her number one fan, a kid named Timmy. Most people referred to him as Bug Boy, though, since he blurted out random shit about bugs all the time.
He was a loser worshiper who did all of her English homework, since she wasn't very good at it. During gym class, Landon would listen to Timmy's excited rants about "The Goddess," a title she gave to herself.
Landon wondered why on earth he liked her. Why he listened for her voice. Why he got so excited when they brushed up against each other in the hallways. Why he dreamed about her so much. Why he hadn't talked to her yet.
It really made no sense why he would take such a strong interest in her. Out of all the people in the school, why her? He hated people like her. They were the reason why he didn't want his sight. And yet... somehow, he was drawn to her.
As his freshmen year went on, Landon found himself needing her more and more... and not just emotionally. Somehow, he started... he started... uh, getting urges. Urges that he had never felt before. S... sexual urges.
Getting on the net and finding porn didn't really help. He couldn't get off to it. It was only the thought of touching her soft skin... hearing her soft moans... pleasuring her... that was the only way he could.
Landon could feel himself getting obsessed with her. He needed Katsu Keneko. It was killing him.
When summer vacation neared, something suddenly occurred to him that made him panic a little. He would no longer be able to see her. He wouldn't hear about her. He wouldn't be able to get even close to her. For two months and a half months, she would disappear.
Landon was unsure he could handle that. Being without the girl who he liked so much... the girl he had never spoken to... the girl that meant so much to him... the idea of not seeing (sort of) her for that long was almost murder.
As much as he begged it not to, summer came. He no longer heard her voice, felt her brushed touch, heard people muttering about the latest guy she was doing... she was gone.
Landon went into a form of numbness over the summer break. He could generally react just fine to what his grandparent's said or did, but... being without the girl that he liked so much... it really sucked. He was so lost. He prayed for summer vacation to end much sooner so he could hear her or hear about her again.
When his sophomore year came, he was so relieved and delighted that he was friendly to people. Friendly. To. People. This boy who didn't even know anybody's name a year ago was now saying hello to people in the hallways! What the heck?!
However, things didn't get really good up until his English class, which he thought he would hate because it's English, and he had... issues with writing. When he entered and took the first seat he felt, he heard a voice that made his entire self perk up. It was her. She was in his English class.
Oh, hell yes.
This year was gonna be good.
Landon was grinning throughout the rest of the day. Nothing could possibly go wrong! He was in the same class as the girl he loved, and-
... wait, what? Loved?
Landon stopped dead in the hall, his face turning red. Did he just use the "l" word to describe how he felt about Katsu? As in, the l word l word? Like... like... not like or Landon, but looooooooo... ?
Landon trembled. It was impossible. He was only fifteen. He couldn't possibly be in love, he was too young. Not only that, but he didn't know anything about that sort of feeling. He didn't love anyone, not even the old people who took care of him!
"F- fuck," Landon whispered shakily. "I can't be... shit... shit... shit... shit... that's impossible... the hell is up with this girl... ?"
The next day, when Landon sat in his seat (which was across the room from Katsu's) in English, he felt absurdly nervous. The idea of being in love with this girl was terrifying. She was a total brat, sex addict, and... just... all around... ugh-factor.
Landon could handle having a crush on her. He could handle a having a huge crush on her. But falling in love with her? Caring about her more than anything in the world? That seemed... completely impossible. Completely and totally.
Before she came into class, he heard a couple of girls talking about her.
"Hey, did you hear... ?"
"Katsu's dad is out of town again... he's, like never around."
Interesting... something Landon hadn't heard yet.
"What a douche. When is that guy ever home?"
"I dunno, but at least she can skip out on some more clubs."
"Totally. We should grab some guys."
Landon frowned a little. He knew Katsu was part of a bunch of clubs and teams and whatnot, but... was her dad making her do them? Or something? And what was this about him not being around?
Landon sighed. Although he knew her outer shell, he really didn't know that much about her. He didn't know her family situation, he didn't know what kind of a guy she liked, he didn't know what she liked, he didn't know... like... anything about her.
Landon groaned, throwing his bed. "I can't believe what a retard I ammm!"
As usual, nobody payed attention to the strange blind boy who often randomly shouted insults about himself.
Katsu entered about half-way through the class period, out of breath. She mumbled something to the teacher, who nodded. She then sat in her seat a bit more roughly than normally.
Landon frowned. What was up with her? She sounded tired, frustrated... had something happened?
He felt worried about her, so (and this wasn't stalkerish at all) he followed her to her next class. One of the great things about being him was that he blended in really well. He had changed classes several times, and the teachers never caught on.
He plopped down in the more advanced math class, in the back, just a few seats away from her's. It was the closest he had been to her in months, and his entire body tingled with anticipation.
However, he pushed these feelings back to focus on his worry for her. He could almost feel her stress emanating from her... he had never felt her like this before. Usually, she was so calm, so normal, so cool... it was so odd.
Landon followed her throughout her day in the most uncreepy way he could manage... which was still really creepy. He couldn't help but brush up against her once or twice, or smell her very strong perfume as she walked down the hall.
After school, he felt frustrated. He hadn't been able to get a thing out of that, other than her classes... which he had quietly made note of in the back of his mind. He slumped against the wall, trying to think of what could have been going on with her.
"I don't feel like going out today," Landon heard from around the corner. "I feel kinda sick..."
"Oh, is that why you came in late?"
... Katsu. Katsu and her friends. Landon thanked God for giving him this opportunity.
"Are you sure you don't wanna go fuck with some guys?"
"I said no. Stop bugging me."
"Jeez, whatever. We don't need you."
Landon heard footsteps go past him, and the girls muttering, "God, what a bitch... we were just trying to be nice. No wonder why she doesn't have any friends."
Landon blinked, then frowned. No friends? He swore... then... wait... what? She was always surrounded by people. This made no sense.
His mind wandered back to that first day he had ever heard her sing, and what his aide said. How nobody actually liked her. How they all just used her for her body. How that's all she was to them.
Landon felt his heart instantly go out to her. He slowly stood up and walked as near to the corner as he could, listening for her. He could hear her soft breath. She hadn't moved.
After a moment of silence, she laughed. "Who needs them? What a couple of dumbasses! They couldn't get a guy if they tried! N- not at all!"
Her voice shook at the end. She was upset.
He heard her turn on her heel and walk down the hall. Just before her footsteps faded, he turned around the corner, following her. He tried to keep his footsteps as close to silent as he could possibly get so he could hear her's.
Enhanced hearing. It was his friend.
Landon heard her stop, so he did, just before rounding the corner. She messed with the doorknob for a moment before opening it and closing it behind her. Landon slid over to it, listening into each door before listening to the supply closet.
Landon felt his heart stop.
He pushed his ear up to the door, eyes wide and listening. He listened as hard as he could, desperate to hear what she was saying. After managing to block everything else out, he heard it.
"G- God, I hate him!" Katsu cried. "I hate my dad! I can't do anything, and I have to be everything! I can't do it all! I'm so stressed out, and I... I hate this! Why?! Why?!"
Landon shook, feeling depression grab him. Katsu.
"A- and those stupid, ugly girls... Christ, I'm so sick of this place! I wanna go back to Japan!" she moaned.
Landon slumped down next to the door, not allowing his ear to leave it for an instant. At one point, she started blabbering in rapid Japanese, which made him feel strangely more heartbroken. She couldn't express herself in English properly, so she had to do it in her native tongue.
Finally, after a half an hour or so, her sobs receded away. Landon felt guilty. He should have knocked on the door. Made sure she was okay. Hugged her. Told her he cared. Anything.
Landon slowly pulled away from the door. He couldn't do it. Not yet. There was no way he could talk to her.
The instant he walked around the corner, he heard the door open. She walked out into the silent and empty hallway, slowly closing the door behind her. She then left the building, walking home.
She was utterly lonely, wasn't she?
He felt so desperate to help her, yet... he was so scared. He wished he could do something, anything. However... his fear was too great. He couldn't do it.
As time went on, Landon started to accept a couple of things, like his being in love with Katsu. He would do anything for her, yet he couldn't. He was utterly devoted to her, yet they had never spoken. He needed her, yet he couldn't ever have her.
He accepted that she was a busy and stressed girl. From her occasional times that he heard her in the supply closet, he knew her as a very stressed and tired person. Her father was running her thin with all of the advanced classes and the after school activities. It was getting to be too much.
And lastly... this was something he realized on Valentine's Day.
She wanted to be loved.
She didn't want just sex. She didn't want fake love. She didn't want one-week relationships that were all about her body. She wanted somebody that would hold her, that would whisper sweet things, that would gently touch her, that would softly kiss her... she wanted somebody that would love her.
Valentine's Day was simple... Landon expected her to get at least ten roses. He, himself, had quietly sent on her way.
She only got one that day.
Okay, two, if you count the other one from Timmy, but... only one was sent from a secret admirer. She only got one rose from a secret admirer. That was... that was... it made no sense!
However... when she got it... Landon made sure to be around.
"... huh," she said like it was nothing. "G- guess... somebody cares... p- probably some loser!"
She tried to scoff it off like it was nothing, but... she watched. She listened. She was silent most of that day. She just watched all of the couples go by. She didn't have sex that day.
As far as romantic ways, that was as far as Landon managed to get. He couldn't admit to her his feelings, and he started to feel slight despair, especially what with her seeming to gain a slight interest in Bug Boy.
Landon didn't blame her, though. He, just like Landon, was in love with Katsu. However, he was more open and forward with it. He was able to admit to her how he felt without being too worried.
Landon still couldn't help but feel jealous. He would quietly seethe any time the Bug Boy would talk to the Goddess. He would feel jealousy any time she would flirt with a guy, or talk about the sex she just had. He wanted desperately to be one of the boys that took her to bed, but... he would stay until the morning, unlike so many who left after they were done.
Landon felt utterly lost and despairing as summer vacation started. Being without her for one summer had been hard enough, but having to deal with a second while he was so deeply in love with her... it was going to drive him insane. He needed her there.
Summer break was at least three times as long that summer. However, it was... it was much worse...
He was so lonely.
He never thought that he would be lonely. That he would crave for human interaction. However, he did. He needed it. He needed somebody there. He needed another human.
Landon hadn't made any friends over the school year, so this made things a lot harder. He really only knew three human beings that he enjoyed being around. His grandparents, and Katsu.
He actually considered asking his grandparents to let him try to have some time with his parents, but... no... they could barely take care of themselves, they didn't need him around. It would just be a bad idea.
Landon felt more stressed and tired with every passing day. He felt more in despair and lonely, as well. He also came to realize something...
Katsu would never be his.
She had no idea he existed. She didn't know he was in love with her. The most interaction they had gotten was that Valentine's Day, and they hadn't even spoken that day.
Landon felt so utterly alone and depressed, he felt himself starting to give up. There was no point in life if he couldn't be with the one he loved. If he couldn't make her happy. If nothing was right anymore.
He was especially contemplating this as he stood at a crosswalk at the near-end of the summer.
How he didn't need to live.
How he was a burden for everyone.
How he was so tired and stressed.
Landon stepped onto the street.
A/N- Ha ha, fun place to stop. :D Sooo, yup, this is a two-chapter story (very possibly three if somebody out there makes a character, but I doubt that person will) all about my character, Landon. He's a main character in my horror story, A Young Cannibal. Don't worry, there isn't anything really horrific in his story... just the other character's.
Speaking of which... this first chapter is all about my friend's character, Katsu, and how he loves her. Timmy is owned by a different... um... friend. It's complicated right now.
His second love will be in the next chapter. It will also contain a few spoilers for A Young Cannibal, but... meh, a bunch of you haven't read that story, I bet, so it doesn't matter. lol