My stomach churns, my heart aches... why can't I concentrate?

My temper is short, my actions are absurd,

& I really want to scream.

There is a bomb inside my heart.

It ticks with grief, it wears with time, and I can't bury it.

You were my only father, my only guy… why can't I cry?

There is no hope for you.

The doctors say there is no time…. why can't I just run away and hide?

I try to forget.

I try to avoid.

I make a fool out of myself to try and hide.

Can I apologize?

Ridiculous. Just ridiculous….

I have never been so cold inside.

Where did the time go?

I'm about to burst… I can feel it and there is no time….

Why can't I hide… why do you have to die?

I am not perfect, nether are you… we are both fighters & survivors….

But can I survive without you?

You are my dad through and through.

Blood does not matter but you do.

I've seen you struggle, I've seen you smile, I've seen you survive.

15 years of all of this…

Why did this have to happen to you?

....All I know is that I'm going to miss you.