The Messiah Wasn't God's Best Creation. Seriously.

One rainy afternoon in Heaven, God received the unwelcome news that Jesus had thrown Angel Gabriel's harp from the top of Mount Everest.

God had had many conversations with His Son about stealing the angels' musical instruments, and was most displeased that Jesus had wrecked the harp of the divine messenger that had visited Mary in Jerusalem.

It had been several months since God's last counselling session with St. Paul, and he was unable to contain His fury; wiggling His mighty fingers as static crackled through the rainclouds, a ribbon of rainbow shot through the sky.

It zipped through the atmosphere at the speed of light (that's 186,282 miles per second, in case you're interested), toward a small field in the noble county of Essex, where a handsome brown stallion named Philip lounged under a tree. God never intended horses to detect rainbows hurtling toward them at 186,282 miles per second - Philip was not aware of what was about to happen until it did…

In a dazzling flash of Holy Spirit-esque radiance, Philip was almost thrown backwards off his hooves into a nearby stream as scorching heat pierced his head. When he finally opened his eyes and trotted to the stream to see if any damage had been done to his forelock, Philip very nearly fell over in shock. Where there had once been a simple horse's forehead, there was now a white horn that wasn't just more glittering than Edward Cullen at midday, but could do some serious damage to Bruce, Philip's infuriating older brother.

Neighing slightly to himself, Philip decided that if he was to wear a horn for the rest of his life, he may as well look good doing it, and settled down under the tree to bask in the glory of his latest fashion accessory.

God, meanwhile, smiled to himself at His latest creation, and floated off to give Jesus an ear bashing.


This was Ruby's Christmas present which I forgot to publish. Reviews appreicated!