Logan's POV
Imagine being expected to give a one hour long speech about quantum physics to a bunch of university professors. That's how I feel right now. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to say. I don't know how to act. And most of all, I don't want to look like a fool. Somehow Naomi's words managed to get me out here, but they couldn't erase the uneasiness going on in me. This is actually my first time going out with "friends". Of course, "friends" being Naomi and a bunch of people I just met. I don't want to embarrass myself in front of everybody, especially Naomi. I think I can pull it off if I stay a bit distant from everyone.
"Let's go see a movie!" Alex said.
A movie. Alright, it's dark and quiet in there. I don't really have to say anything. Alright Logan, it's going fine right now. Just try to keep as quiet as possible and don't make a scene. I feel something heavy in my chest, but I don't know why it's there. I'm most likely doing something that I really don't want to. And spontaneously, my eyes wander off to Naomi. Our eyes suddenly meet and I quickly look away. Darn, that was pretty awkward. I really need to be more careful.
"Watch movie should we see?" asked… Amber? I think?
Chris lit up, "Let's see Insidious!"
"EW! No! Everything in horror movies is really fake!" Michelle exclaimed.
I smiled a little bit. Naomi is lucky to have friends like these guys. They're really nice people and they seem to be fun to have around. All my life I was that kid in the corner, the one who's always away from everyone else. Now, with these people around me, I feel… different. I don't feel as awkward as I thought I would. In fact, I think I'm actually kinda enjoying this. Just as long as they don't make me choose the mov-
"Uh, Logan? What would you like to watch?" Naomi asked.
My stomach lurched. Why did she have to ask me that? I can't make the right decision! What if I choose one and everyone laughs at me? I don't want that! Especially not… Naomi to laugh at me…
"Uh, I'm fine with anything" I replied.
LAMEEE! Ugh, why did I say that? I could have said… Battle: LA? No that's Dorky… Rio? No… that's childish… I regret what I said. Naomi asked me a question and I basically just threw her off. Why am I like this? I look at Naomi regretfully. She herself looks a little sad. No! I didn't mean it! Although I'm distressed and sad that I made Naomi sad, I can't do anything to comfort her. Or else it might make things even more awkward. Wow. I'm the worst.
"Naomi, what would you like to watch?" Michelle asked.
She smiles again and replies in that cute voice "Haha, I actually want to watch Insidious. It seems interesting."
"Naomi! You need to be more girly! No wonder why you still don't have a boyfriend!" Amber exclaims.
"Oh shut up guys! Let's go see the movie!" Naomi replies.
I walk slowly, leaving a distance between the group and myself. And then something hit me. She invited me to join her group of friends so I could have a good time. But I was just acting cold the entire time. She was opening herself to me this entire time, but I never opened up to receive. I've really been a jerk. I was only selfishly caring about my own feelings and didn't care about Naomi. I have to take her in before she closes herself up. I'm not sure why, but… I feel as if I really need Naomi. For some reason I feel that if I don't take her in, I'm going to regret it. Whether I'm just imagining things or it's my seventh sense (Seventh sense = love. DUH), I walk faster and close the distance.
We all make our way into the theatre. Obviously, the couples sat near the back. So that just left Naomi and me. We decided to sit around the middle and found some seats. I stopped one seat away from Naomi. Is… this alright? Naomi looks at me with confusion and I swallow down my anxiety and sit next to her. Yup. We're just sitting there. You know, like friends sit together.
…
The seconds seem like minutes and I'm too nervous to talk about anything. But, I also didn't want the situation to get anymore awkward. Receive Naomi. Take her in. Ugh. This is going to be hard…
"So, how has today been?" Naomi asks me in a quiet voice. She broke the silence. Somewhere in my heart I feel regret for not breaking it myself.
"O-Oh, it's been alright." I reply. UGH another LAME reply. Why can't I do this?
The awkwardness is building up even more and I could sense it in her voice. "Well, I hope that you'll enjoy the movie!" she says.
"Uh, I guess… I'm not really that into horror films"
"O-Oh, you should have said something" she says quietly. I look into her eyes and could tell that she was hurt. DARN. WHY DO I KEEP MESSING UP? SHE'S GOING TO CLOSE UP SOON!
I have to say something that'll make her now that I do cherish her efforts and I love the fact that she took me along today. Mustering up all my courage, I say, "A-Ah, it's ok. It's still enjoyable… s-since I'm with you…"
She quickly turns her head around and looks at me. Oh no. Did I just freak her out? I have to say something quick. "Y-You know, you and your friends, that is", I lied.
She says nothing and smiles. I could tell it was a forced smile. I'm not sure what happened here. When I said it, she turned around so fast, as if she were angry with me or something. But, maybe for a brief second, there was also this dazzling light in her eyes. It was magical. I… just got so confused. I didn't know how to act. Suddenly a jolt of pain inflicts my heart. What are you smoking? She obviously doesn't feel anything for you. Who do you think you are? No girl has ever even looked at you before. Just because she invited you to hang out doesn't mean that she feels anything for you! The memories of the past make me feel shameful. I knew this, yet I still felt something back there. I stared at the seat in front of me. I thought back to all those years of pain, loneliness, and inadequacy. I wasn't as good as the other kids. I wasn't as sociable. I wasn't athletic. People made fun of me. And at times I just don't feel equal to a human being in general. And now... I'm still no different. I look helplessly over to Naomi. She's staring up ahead. I wonder what she's thinking about. I let go a deep sigh.
The lights dim and the movie starts. Honestly I could care less about "freaky" crap that rolls on the big screen. This stuff really doesn't scare me. The only reason why I'm even here is because Naomi asked me to. Naomi… I look over and see her all tensed up. Wow. She seems to be scared of this stuff. I'm not so sure of what to do. Should I comfort her? Tell her it's okay? Hold her hand? Wrap my arms around her- oh gosh what am I thinking?
The movie continues and the stuff… gets really weird. I'm not scared of it, it's just so disturbing. I wanna slap the guy who wrote it. What the fuck was he thinking? In the midst of all the screaming, I hear a whimper. I look over and it's… Naomi. She's all curled up and trembling with her eyes close. Tears are flowing out of her eyes too.
And then from that point I just forgot everything I was holding back. Naomi was crying. The movie was playing. I had to get her out of the movie theatre. Slowly, I rested my hand on her forehead. She suddenly flinched and when I looked into her eyes I saw sheer terror.
"Naomi, relax. It's just me. It's ok. You even said that horror movies are all fake, right?" I smiled. She looked at me and slowly I could tell her fear was going away.
"Y-Yeah, everything's fake…" she said quietly
I know that I had to do something to make her feel better. I hesitated at first, but then I looked into Naomi's eyes and I was filled with courage and determination. I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her tight. "Naomi, it's going to be fine. Everything in that movie is fake. Let's get out of here and see another movie. Cmon, let's get out of here." I held her hand and led her out of the theatre.
We sat on a bench for a while after that. Naomi was still crying and shaking, so I instinctively held her in my arms. After a while, Naomi stopped trembling and I knew that she had calmed down. "Hey there, big girl. You okay now?"
She looked at me with those bright, large eyes that could burn you if you stared at them for too long. "Y-Yeah, I think I'm fine now."
"Well then, let's go see a different movie"
We movie hopped into a random movie theatre and sat down. Rango. Wow. A kid's movie. But, it should be able to calm Naomi down and make her happy. We watched for a while and we even laughed for a little bit. Naomi's alright now. I felt so relieved and happy. And then, I realized that my arm was still around Naomi. I heart raced and I wasn't sure what to do. I just about to take my arm off of her when I felt something rest on my shoulder. It was Naomi. She must have had a hard time today, and I'm glad that she can finally sleep. I look at her sleeping face and I feel overwhelmed by so many feelings. Joy, embarrassment, happiness, nervousness, relief, and… love. Huh? What was I thinking? Haha I must be tired or something. I look at Naomi's sleeping face and a smile appeared on my face. And, as if it was contagious, I began to feel sleepy as well. At that moment, I forgot about the consequences. I forgot about the outcome. I forgot about… everything I was thinking about. All I thought about was… Naomi. Naomi filled my every corner of my mind.
Why… is it like this?
At this point I feel completely lost. I'm sleepy and I feel like I'm in dreamland. A dream where everything is about Naomi.
Sleep well, Naomi. I'll be here next time to help you again, my precious.
Slowly, I rest my head on Naomi and we both fall into a deep sleep.
Somewhere, a part of my heart began glowing and filled my entire body with warmth.
…
Naomi…