Miss Pirate Demands You Walk The Plank Nao
By EppogirlXD and LemonShark, two PoM authors on (we PMed back and forth)
"Arrgh! Imma pirate!" The pirate girl hollers.
"Nice to meet you, Mr. Pirate." The other girl replies.
"Its MISS Pirate you commoner! Give me all yer treasure! NAO!"
"I'm terribly sorry, Ms. Pirate, but I don't have any treasure."
"LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FIRE...! Walk the plank!"
"If I might ask, where is the plank?"
"Ova dere! My crew shall lead you ova to it!" Then one of the pirate's guy chains her thumbs together and shoves her onto the wooden plank.
"Are you sure it's a plank? Because it looks more like spare wood."
"YES I AM SURE! NOW FALL IN...!"
"Alright." The girl stands up straight with her arms down, and just looks in front.
The pirate facepalms. "THE WATER…! ARE YOU WILLING TO GIVE ME YO TREASURE YET?!"
The girl relaxes. "I keep telling you Ms. Pirate, I don't have any treasure."
The pirate was still suspicious. "You sure? Oh well. WALK THE PLANK! YOU AND YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY SHALL WALK THE PLANK AND FALL OFF IT INTO THE WATER! I'LL MAKE SURE OF IT...!"
"Um, sorry to burst your bubble Ms. Pirate, but... I have no family."
"That doesn't burst my bubble. BRING IN HER FRIENDS INSTEAD!"
"The only friends I have are sea creatures... And I don't think that will be much help."
The pirate glares. "you're nuts...oh I know! You're half-mermaid?"
"No, Ms. Pirate I'm a full human-being. I just have sea creatures for friends."
"Rilly? Liar! Give to me your eyeballs or I'll pluck them out of you!"
"I'm just a carpenter, that goes fishing once in a while."
"nerdy. Do you have a quiet life?" The pirate glares and holds a knife to the girl's neck. "if you are an undercover ninja, then–"
"Try the boy down the street, he's more of the ninja."
"We are in the middle of the ocean on a boat there is no down the street! I knew you were a liar! Arrgh!"
"That boy over there." She points up.
"What do wanna do? Am I wasting your time trying to get yo monay?" The pirate did not dare look up because then the girl might try something funny.
"Of course not, Ms. Pirate. Though, the gold up there is real shiny..."
"As if! I already know the gold up there is shinee! I am one of the best pirates around! Take her away!"
"As you wish, Ms. Pirate, as you wish."
"Why are you so calm about this?! Or are you freaking out on the inside?! Arrgh!" She points her knife at her.
"It's nothing Ms. Pirate, I understand the circumstances of what you're saying."
"Wat are you, some kind of biz-ness woman? Walk the plank! Nao! Here's a lifejacket."
"Um... Ms. Pirate, what's the use of me jumping if I'm to wear a lifejacket?"
"cuz you are in the middle of ocean nowhere and I'm the only one who knows where to go somewhere!"
"That doesn't really make any sense..."
The pirate sighs. "I mean, once you're offboard, I shall ditch you by sailing away and you will be left floating till you die from thirst!"
"YESH! No walk the friggin plank!"
"Alright, alright. Sheesh..."
"xcuse meh, Imma going to my captain's cabin now" The pirate then proceeds to go to her cabin now.
There is a pause. "Well, that was easy," the girl says.
The pirate comes back with a sword. "do you wanna mess with me?! No?!"
"Uh-huh, can we get this over with? I'm quite bored."
"YESH then you should stop asking questions! Now! Get on the plank and stand on the edge!" The pirate puts her on the plank.
"Wow, long drop."
"YESH! quit stalling!"
"You're STILL stalling! jump, or I'll push you!"
"Alright, for the sake of your yelling, I'll jump." She looks down on the edge, ready to jump.
The pirate facepalms again. Then she pushed her a tinny bit. "FLY, YOUNG MORTAL!"
The girl starts to fall. "Hey, I can do it, and you're a mortal too."
"No, I'm not! I have lived 17 lives, my soul flying from one soul to another, once one becomes too old for me."
"That just means that your soul lives... Not your body, or soul."
"Oops, I meant body on the second thing."
"It's ok, never noticed."
"Whatever, helpless, vulnerable victim. DO YOU REALIZE HOW MUCH YOU STALL?! DO YOU DO IT ON PURPOSE OR ACCIDENT?!"
"Maybe a little of both, I dunno."
"JUMP. NOW. NO QUESTIONS. OR COMMENTS."
"I JUST SAID...! YOU! STALL! SO! MUCH!" She is so furious, the pirate pushes the girl.
"Whoa, whoa, hey!"
"Hope you have a nice descent!"
"What DO you wanna do?! Do you want to keep on falling?! It's a long way down..."
"Eh. Better than drowning, right?"
"Okay!" The pirate yells down to the girl: "you will now hit the water in 5,4,3,2,1...!"
The girl starts to sputter. "H-help! Someone! I c-can't swim!"
"WHOA! You're a fisherman with undersea friends and you don't know how to swim?! How about your life jacket?!"
"I-it c-c-came o-off!"
"Fine. Here's a life raft." The pirate throws the life raft in the water beside the girl. Suddenly, the pirate also falls into the sea, right after the life raft….
TO BE CONTINUED